Chapter 137

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was Johan.

I thought I’d woken up early, but I had no idea when he’d gotten up. He was looking down at my sleeping face with shockingly gentle eyes.

Of course, while keeping me trapped in his arms.

‘This is insane.’

My mind suddenly snapped back to its senses.

I fell asleep in the same bed, hugging a man I’ve done nothing more with than hold hands!

On top of that, the thought that I must’ve shown him the ugliest face in the world while sleeping made embarrassment rush over me.

As I struggled and got up, Johan obediently loosened his grip.

I hurried to the bathroom.

‘If Raphael finds out, he’ll slit Johan’s throat and ask me if I’ve lost my mind, then ban me from going out for two months!’

It’s ridiculous to talk about grounding a grown adult, but you know what I mean.

I quickly washed up and got ready to go out.

Just as I was about to pass through the hotel lobby and head outside, Johan grabbed my wrist.

“What is it?”

Like yesterday, Johan adjusted my scarf.

He wrapped it tightly as if he wouldn’t allow even a sliver of cold air to get through, then hesitated for a moment before speaking.

“You said… your hands were cold.”

“So today I’m going to buy gloves.”

Johan’s eyes twitched.

“I’m going to buy really warm, cozy wool gloves.”

I wondered how he’d react, but he pretended not to hear and quietly took my hand.

It’s a good thing he wrapped my scarf so only my eyes are visible.

Otherwise, he would’ve caught me grinning like a creep.

But if we’re walking around holding hands, that means we’re a couple, right?

Maria once got completely blindsided over something like this, so I want to be sure.

“You didn’t like it yesterday. Didn’t you not want to hold my hand?”

“….”

“You seemed to dislike it yesterday. Weren’t you just unwilling to hold my hand?”

As I acted displeased, he tightened his grip on my hand.

Ah, so cute. It’s no wonder I lost my mind yesterday.

I can understand my past self, sleeping in the same bed with him.

When I smiled softly, Johan quickly stepped ahead and started walking.

Even though it’s Blue City, winter is still winter, yet my hands are getting sweaty.

All my nerves are focused on the small area where our hands touch.

I can feel the rough calluses scattered across his fingers and palm, but it only makes me more ticklish.

I don’t know if I’m even allowed to feel this way… but I’m so excited and happy.

“Johan, Johan!”

“What is it?”

“Since when did you start liking me?”

“….”

“Can you call me your love one more time? But say it gently this time. Not in a scary way. Okay?”

He pretended not to hear again, so I asked something else.

“Did you come back after getting the code because you like me, or because my hand is special? And what did you ask Fog?”

“…Were you always this kind of person?”

When I poked his side with my elbow, he stopped walking and let out a deep sigh.

“So you don’t like it?”

“I’ve only ever seen you this lively in my dreams… so it’s nice to see.”

“That dream… it was inside my ability. You know that, right?”

“Yes. I even read a comic there. Called Mist Island.”

“Ah, that. It was drawn by my older brother Oscar, who’s gone now. When I was a ghost over there, it hadn’t finished yet, but by now it should have an ending. They probably revealed that Black Cloak is a stalker too.”

“The Mist Island I saw there ended at volume 33. It ended with your death.”

“What are you talking about? The comic I saw only went up to volume 28….”

It felt like someone had struck me over the head.

The comic book I saw before I regained my memories was unfinished.

So there’s no way I should have any memory of the ending, yet I knew how it ended.

“Because your ability swallowed your memories. Since you were inside the ability, you were able to see the ending. You mistakenly believed you had unconsciously seen the ending in order to survive in this life.”

Confused, I asked, “Why was my soul drawn into the gap in the world?”

When I fell into a coma in my previous life, my soul didn’t drift into another world.

I believed that before time was turned back, Red Shadow and the Black Cloak clashed, creating a crack in the world, and that was why I fell into the world where Oscar was.

If that’s the case, then a question arises.

“Why me?”

As long as there is a crack in the world, anyone could fall into another world.

So why was it me, of all people, who fell into a coma? And why was it my entire soul?

After hearing everything about my previous life, the comic, and my coma, Johan fell into deep thought with a serious expression.

“…I’m not a mage specialized in dimensions or the mind, so I can’t be certain, but my guess is.”

He hesitated for a moment before carefully sharing his thoughts.

“I suspect it might be because of Oscar.”

“Oscar?”

“People tend to dismiss what they can’t see. But as a mage, I know there are currents that can’t be perceived.”

“Like what?”

“Belief. Will.”

Johan brushed my hair, which was swaying in the wind and tickling the corner of my eye, behind my ear as he continued.

“When I was closest to death, I wished I had the power to end this war. And when I came to my senses, I had become a mage.”

Imagining the moment when a bullet pierced Johan’s spine and destroyed his eyes made my skin crawl.

I’m glad I snuck into his hospital room that day.

“Of course, will alone can’t solve every problem in the world, but when fate and coincidence align, miracles happen. It must have been the same for Oscar Jackniper.”

“No way….”

“He must have wanted to see you.”

If I had my memories back then, I would have done everything I could to find Oscar.

I might have even asked Willy for help to talk to him.

“It’s likely that when you fell into a coma and your soul became extremely fragile, it was swept up by his will.”

I wiped the corners of my eyes with my sleeve.

Oscar wouldn’t want me to cry because of him.

After a while, when I regained my composure, Johan asked cautiously, “Do you hate me?”

Even without my memories, through dreams I came to know what he did to Raphael and Oscar in my previous life.

As if it had been weighing on him heavily, the hand not holding mine tapped nervously against his pant leg.

“I do.”

“….”

Johan’s throat bobbed as he swallowed.

His stiff expression carried a strange tension.

“But you don’t have those memories… and I ended up liking you without knowing that time had been turned back, so what can I do?”

The hatred that grew wildly using my rotten heart as fertilizer often makes me want to trample and tear this world apart.

If I had power, I would gladly live according to those feelings.

But I don’t have strength like Big Bear or Raphael.

Nor do I have the courage to devote my life to justice like Tristan.

I’m just an ordinary person who is moderately weak and moderately resigned to reality.

So I have no choice but to suppress that hatred and choose the most beautiful and good path I can.

That’s the best choice someone like me can make.

I traced my finger lightly along Johan’s palm to meet his gaze. Then I spoke to him softly.

“I like you.”

At my sudden confession, he pressed his lips together tightly.

I gave him a bright smile.

I just hope my choice doesn’t turn into something terrible.

I prayed desperately in my heart.

***

“Nelson!”

I threw my trunk at home and went straight to work.

“Woof!”

Nelson barked loudly and ran toward me. He licked my face like crazy, making it impossible to collect myself.

“Ahaha! I missed you too, Nelson.”

“More importantly, Jean. The person behind you… is that the one you mentioned before?”

Noah rolled his eyes. Because of Nelson, I’d completely forgotten about Johan.

“This is Noah. Johan, this is him. The person I told you about at the shopping center last time.”

“Wow. That Alex guy’s finally going to back off. Nice to meet you.”

“Alex?”

“He’s a chef who keeps chasing after Jean.”

Johan’s eyes turned cold, almost fierce, as he stared into the restaurant.

The staff who were crowded by the window watching waved their hands.

“It’s… nothing serious.”

“He keeps hitting on you every chance he gets. That’s not nothing.”

“When do you open?”

“In thirty minutes, but you can just come in and sit.”

“That’s a good offer.”

“J-Johan. Are you going to eat here?”

“I’ll take Nelson after the meal. We can’t leave him outside all day.”

“That’s true, but….”

“Noah. Please show me the way.”

“Sure. For reference, Alex is a big guy with a greasy look and a 2:8 parted hairstyle. But don’t worry. You’re way, way, way more handsome. It’s not even comparable.”

Leaving me flustered outside, Noah led Johan inside.

Please don’t let Johan act like he does with underground organization members.

A sudden sense of unease surged up, and I quickly tied Nelson to the doghouse and rushed inside.