Chapter 93

Blair stared at Edmund in disbelief after he spat out such a vulgar remark. She could only gape blankly at the man sneering at her. Anger surged up, but the moment she realized she couldn’t tell what he was thinking at all, an unfamiliar fear washed over her.

She had only asked for permission out of courtesy before leaving the mansion. She never imagined a conversation like this would follow. Did she want to be filthy entangled with him? Where on earth did such a crude remark even come from? One thing was clear. This relationship was cracking little by little.

“You said you were my husband, not my jailer.”

Blair repeated Edmund’s own words from before.

“Are you taking that back now? Trying to lock your wife inside the mansion like a man sick with jealousy?”

“That could sound like a compliment, depending on who’s listening.”

“So this is who you really are.”

“Disappointed?”

“…Maybe I knew it, deep down. That you’re this cruel.”

“You knew, and you still loved me.”

Edmund’s mocking tone vanished completely as he said it. Blair’s gaze wavered. A chill ran through her chest, and she couldn’t say a word.

“You were curious. You wanted to see me. If you love me, you should be willing to see even my lowest depths.”

As always, Edmund pierced straight through her heart. The words hit so painfully true that her heart began to race in disarray. How could he read people so clearly, yet never show even a fragment of his own heart? She resented him for it.

“You want me to look at a depth even more vile than this?”

The Edmund who first met Blair was a man unafraid of rejection. Even if she shook her head, he could turn away without regret. He seemed unshakable in any situation, as if he controlled everything exactly as he wished. Because he controlled himself so thoroughly.

But what about now?

She had sensed it vaguely since the moment she held him in Chails. Every time Blair said no, Edmund reacted with a strange sharpness.

She knew it was a distorted form of love directed at her. A bad person. He was afraid. That was why he could never bring himself to confess it.

“No.”

The refusal that slipped between her lips sounded firm even to Blair herself. Just as expected, she clearly saw tension gather along his sharply defined jaw.

“I don’t really want to see you.”

Blair shoved her chair back and stood. Even as the old wooden floor screeched sharply, Edmund didn’t move, only lifting his gaze to look up at her.

“Sit down. We’re not done talking.”

“I’ve said everything I needed to say. I’m going to Borsa to see my friend.”

Despite his cold stare, Blair moved toward the tightly shut door. Then she suddenly stopped and turned her head. As if he’d been watching her the whole time, their gazes collided at once.

“And, Ed, we’re already filthy entangled.”

“….”

“There’s no turning back now.”

***

That night, Blair sent a telegram to the Count of Gillingham’s townhouse. Regardless of whether Edmund permitted it or not, she intended to go out to Borsa at daybreak. She’d already conveyed her intentions to him, so there was no reason to explain further or persuade him. If Edmund drew boundaries to keep hold of her as she tried to pull away, Blair resolved to step beyond those boundaries.

She thought she would feel relieved, but she did not. There was still longing for him left inside her, and the resolve layered over it was nothing more than a woman’s last shred of pride to hide her wavering heart. It was no more than a sad resignation meant to deny love.

‘…I really hate you.’

Blair hated Edmund. A man who had never once apologized, who clung to her so desperately yet never revealed his true feelings even once. A deceitful man who knew about the witnessing ritual and still chose silence.

How could she trust him now? His silence, his indifferent gaze, his heart that remained closed to the end were all frightening and hateful. And yet, no matter how deeply all those negative feelings sank in, she couldn’t understand why that aching longing refused to disappear even a little.

In any case, Edmund didn’t return to the marital bedroom that night either. Blair tossed and turned without falling into deep sleep, then left the bedroom at dawn in time for her appointment. She got into the car bound for Borsa.

It was an outing she decided on her own, but no one stopped her. Edmund must have given prior instructions. Even knowing that he’d stepped back, she didn’t feel happy at all. Even the freedom she was given lay under his control, and she had no idea what it would bring. It felt like crouching in the stillness just before a storm.

The car crossed the bridge over the Ridgeway River and entered the area with the riverside park. The cafe where she was to meet the countess stood in the middle of a path dyed bright yellow with autumn leaves, allowing Blair to take in Borsa as it colored itself in vivid fall hues.

The scenery holding the changing season felt strangely new. Perhaps because she suddenly felt the passage of time.

She first met Edmund in early spring. If she had known it would turn out like this, would she have hesitated a little before taking his hand back then?

Probably not. Despite being hurt so badly, Blair didn’t regret the bond she formed with Edmund. She only realized how foolish she was with each passing moment. No matter where she turned her gaze, her thoughts always returned to the same person, just like now.

Only after the car came to a stop did Blair finally steady herself and walk toward the quiet cafe. When she opened the door and stepped inside, the bell hanging at the glass door chimed softly. Countess Gillingham, who was seated at a table by the window, recognized Blair at once and opened her arms in welcome.

“Oh, Blair!”

It had been a long time since she last saw her. Looking at Josephine, who was still full of vitality and grace, Blair smiled warmly. It had been so long since she last met someone she was genuinely happy to see.

“It’s so good to see you again. I was so glad when you contacted me first.”

“Not at all. Have you been well?”

“Of course. I heard the news. Congratulations on becoming a duchess, truly.”

Josephine winked playfully. The fact that Edmund was only the acting duke hadn’t yet spread through high society. Blair chose not to mention it, nor the fact that his position was conditional and that everything would revert to the royal family if no heir was produced within a year.

“By the way, Blair, there’s something I need to ask your understanding about in advance.”

Josephine smiled apologetically, her brows creasing slightly. Blair took her hand and walked with her to the table by the window, answering readily.

“What is it?”

Before she even heard the answer, Blair could already guess what the countess was about to say. The door on the opposite side opened, and a man who looked fairly familiar walked in with steady steps.

Blair recognized him at once. The man, who tied back his shoulder-length hair like an artist, was striking enough to leave a strong impression.

“Hello?”

It was Marcel. The unforgettable Brücken man greeted her in awkward common speech, smiling warmly as he did.

“We meet again. I missed you.”

“…Marcel!”

Josephine nearly leapt up as she hurried to stop her younger brother.

“What did I tell you? She’s a proper lady with a husband. I told you not to say anything that could be misunderstood!”

Josephine turned back to Blair with an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry, Blair. My husband is preparing a charity party, and Marcel has been helping him. When he heard I was meeting you, he insisted on coming here as soon as he finished his schedule. I tried to stop him, but….”

“I see.”

The countess’s flustered feelings came through clearly, and Blair forced a smile as well.  It was not as though she could drive him away when he came despite his sister’s objections.

“Having a cup of tea together should be fine. Please don’t worry about it.”

“Still, please keep today a secret from Duke Libert. He doesn’t seem very comfortable with Marcel’s presence.”

“I will.”

Despite her ready answer, Blair’s thoughts were in turmoil. Things were already strained between her and Edmund. She couldn’t afford to invite needless misunderstandings on top of that.

She quietly steadied her breathing and moved to the table. For now, she sat down as if nothing were amiss, facing the siblings across from her. Sunlight streaming in through the window lit up Marcel’s smiling face.

That dazzling sight made her uncomfortable for a moment. She felt as if someone was watching her from somewhere out of sight.