Chapter 89
How lost in thought she was, Blair didn’t even realize she was biting her lip until it bled. Nor did she notice the car that had arrived at the mansion early had stopped, or that the driver, looking troubled, was checking her expression in the mirror.
What kind of eyes had Edmund looked at her with that night? Whatever it was for him, Blair remembered her own feelings clearly.
The heart that pounded as she looked up at him, the hand she extended slowly, the lips that touched him with care. How could she ever forget the affection that swelled so deeply in her chest each time?
Not just that night. Over countless nights, too many to bother counting, Blair willingly opened her body to his touch wherever he pleased. She gave herself to him out of love, hoping every moment their bodies met would be proof of that love.
How did she look in the eyes of a man who couldn’t possibly be unaware of her feelings? She must have looked ridiculous.
‘…I’m such a fool.’
Looking back, there were countless moments when she felt disappointed that her heart didn’t align with Edmund’s. She felt truly foolish. What had she expected from a relationship steeped in lies from the very beginning? Self-reproach surged up as if it had been waiting, gnawing painfully at her chest. At some point, finding fault in herself had become second nature.
And yet the most pathetic truth, the most hopeless part, was that she still loved him all the same.
Her trust had collapsed completely, yet her love remained untouched. Even now, Blair wanted to pull Edmund into her arms. Betrayal and affection tangled together into this contradictory feeling, and she didn’t know what else to call it but love.
Was there another woman in the world more foolish than her?
Turning her head, Blair looked up at the vast ducal residence beyond the car window. Only after facing forward again and steadying her damp breath did she step out of the car. Her footsteps felt endlessly heavy.
***
“When did she say she’d be back?”
“No, sir. She left very suddenly.”
Meanwhile, a small commotion was unfolding in the corridor outside the bedroom over Blair’s absence. Milia, Blair’s personal maid, stood helplessly before Edmund.
“Madam had been staying in the bedroom for a long time. I went to bring her some refreshments, and I happened to run into her in the corridor just as she was heading out. With the former duchess….”
At the maid’s subtly reproachful glance, Edmund felt at a loss. She hadn’t been serving Blair that long, yet she’d already grown so loyal. In any case, he looked down at her, signaling her to continue.
“When I asked where she was going, she only said she was stepping out for a bit.”
There was no point pressing the maid further. Edmund let out a sigh and nodded shortly.
“You may go.”
Milia bowed deeply and hurried away. Turning on his heel, Edmund walked down the corridor toward the entrance hall.
Blair going out with Isabelle was unexpected. It hadn’t been planned, so even the butler had known nothing about it.
On the surface, there was nothing strange. As the former duchess, Isabelle could easily socialize with Blair, and going out for tea together wasn’t suspicious in itself.
But the problem was what Isabelle might have whispered into the ears of a woman already unsettled by an unfinished conversation, especially right after the will was revealed.
Strangely enough, what grated on Edmund’s nerves the most was the fact that the woman he’d expected to be waiting quietly in the bedroom was nowhere to be found. That simple absence sent an inexplicable surge of irritation through him. A woman acting beyond his control, emotions that didn’t move as he intended, none of it sat well with him.
“Your Grace.”
The moment he descended the stairs and entered the entrance hall, the old butler hurried over.
“Her Grace has just returned. She came back alone.”
“Is she coming to the main building now?”
“No. She went straight to the rear garden.”
“…The rear garden?”
His brow creased. If she’d come home, there was someone she should have gone to see right away, so why head to the garden instead?
Even so, his steps turned toward the door leading to the rear garden. Feeling a slight tightness in his chest, he unfastened the buttons of the jacket he’d kept neatly closed and quickened his pace. Leaving the main building, Edmund soon reached the rear garden, where autumn flowers were in full bloom.
Enclosed by carefully trimmed hedges, the garden was at its most beautiful, thick with mature greenery. The unusually fine weather soaked the fully bloomed petals in sunlight, making them sparkle, while tall garden trees swayed in the breeze, casting long shadows.
And within that perfect setting sat Blair.
She was seated at an outdoor table meant for tea, staring blankly into the air. Light filtering through the zelkova leaves brushed her face, but because she sat at an angle, it was hard to see what expression she wore.
“Blair.”
When he approached and called her name, Blair turned to him. He hadn’t tried to mask his footsteps, yet she looked startled, as if she’d been lost in deep thought.
At the same time, the look in her eyes as she gazed up at him subtly hardened. It was a very slight change, but there was no way Edmund wouldn’t notice. Whether it was because of the dazzling sunlight or for some other reason, he couldn’t tell yet.
“What is it?”
“What do you mean what is it?”
“….”
“I heard you suddenly went out, so I was looking for you.”
Edmund shifted a step to stand opposite her, shielding her face from the sunlight that seemed to scratch at it. Only then was he certain. The woman was looking at him with eyes tinged with fatigue and wariness.
“I’m sorry for leaving without saying anything.”
“Where did you go?”
“To a café in town. I was feeling stifled, and the duchess suggested we get some air.”
“…With my mother?”
“It was awkward to refuse.”
“Then what are you doing here alone now?”
“The weather’s nice for once.”
A flicker of something like defiance passed through Blair’s eyes.
“There’s no need to sit in the bedroom all the time.”
Edmund studied those bright eyes in silence for a moment. It was a gaze that had once stirred his curiosity. Raised in a conservative environment yet secretly dreaming of freedom, he’d once wanted to test how far this woman could cross the line.
Did he still feel the same now? Not at all. If she dreamed of freedom, she could dream as much as she liked. As long as it was within his boundaries.
“I see.”
“….”
“One correction. You’re the duchess now. I’ve inherited all of my father’s estate.”
Edmund smiled as he swallowed his irritation. It might have looked like a sneer.
“You must have heard it from my mother already.”
“Yes. You finally achieved your goal.”
“I’d appreciate a heartfelt congratulations.”
“Congratulations. Though it probably means nothing to someone who’s already a duke.”
“Means nothing?”
“Haven’t results always been all that mattered to you?”
A heavy silence fell. It was so quiet that the faint rustle of leaves stirred by the light breeze sounded sharp.
Edmund suddenly realized he was standing in a muddy puddle. Rainwater that had fallen throughout the funeral had pooled there. From a distance, the garden looked perfect, but up close, parts of it had collapsed here and there.
A hollow laugh slipped out.
“In truth, I haven’t fully achieved my goal yet. I’m still only an acting duke.”
Only then did a crack appear in the woman’s face, which had remained cool throughout. It looked like she could already guess what he was about to say.
“This position isn’t guaranteed. Only if I produce an heir will it truly become mine.”
“…I wish you luck in your future endeavors. I think I should go rest in the bedroom now.”
Murmuring words that sounded less like a blessing and more like a farewell, Blair pushed her chair back and stood. Seeing her obvious attempt to avoid him, Edmund twisted his lips. Then he immediately grabbed the woman’s wrist as she turned away. Her eyes widened as she looked up at him.
“How cold. I thought I’d at least get some congratulations, now that I’m a duke.”
“Get that from someone else.”
“I want it from the wife standing in front of me right now.”
The woman’s face quickly turned troubled. She must have known that what he wanted wouldn’t end with just a few words.
Edmund paid no heed to her flustered reaction. He stared down at her pale, frightened face for a moment, then reached out with his other hand and seized her delicate nape. At that instant, the thread of his reason snapped.
He pressed his lips against Blair’s, which parted in shock. It was not a gentle kiss, nor was it planned. It was only fierce, like the final struggle of someone collapsing.
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