A Mad Lady’s Confession - Chapter 24

He lightly grasped Eleanor’s wrist and met her eyes.

“Let’s stop here.”

He didn’t want any further discord. Before, it was because his peace would be disturbed, and now, it was even more so because of Eleanor. If this dragged on any longer, it was obvious the one who would suffer was the woman. And if it escalated, it would become troublesome.

“It means stop making a scene.”

“….”

Ah, I see. I was making a scene….

At Matthias’s words, Eleanor slowly sank back into her chair.

Right, let’s stop here. This resolves everything. We can avoid any more conflict. I won’t be a burden anymore, and I can spend the remaining three hundred-something days peacefully like this….

“I want to keep serving you, madam…. I want to keep working at House Nielsen….”

Lili’s wish to keep serving her would never come true anyway. In a year, Eleanor would have to leave.

Even so, maybe she could at least grant her wish to keep working at Nielsen.

That was what she had thought. Foolishly believing that much was something she could do. In that moment, Eleanor felt disgusted with herself. For making presumptuous promises she couldn’t even keep.

“…E-excuse me, I need to step out for a moment….”

She hurriedly rose from her seat and left the dining room. She knew gazes followed her from behind like a tail, but she didn’t have the courage to turn back, nor the will to return and sit there, chatting and laughing over the meal.

What made you think you could do anything? When all you can do is run away like this.

Guilt over failing to keep her promise to Lili, self-loathing, and sorrow churned wildly inside her.

I feel like I’m going to be sick.

She rushed into the nearest bathroom. With an empty stomach, she retched. Nothing came out, yet she couldn’t stop the dry heaving.

“Ugh…. Haah….”

A sense of helplessness enveloped her. She knew this feeling well.

The feeling of facing a wall she couldn’t break through no matter how much she pounded against it. The despair from when she lost Del returned to her like an old friend.

She couldn’t even watch Del fade away. They had only each other, they were the only ones in the world for one another.

And yet she couldn’t protect that one and only existence. So what could Eleanor Brynhill possibly do?

In the end, she would once again be able to do nothing.

The resolve she made, to experience all the happiness Del never could during that one year and to tell her everything when they met again someday, crumbled like a sandcastle built at the water’s edge.

Knock, knock. A light tapping sound broke the silence.

Pulling herself together, she opened the door slightly, and through the gap she saw a woman with neatly styled brown hair.

“Madam, are you having a hard time?”

“….”

“Oh dear… how pitiful. I felt the same way when you became his wife.”

As if recalling that moment, Miss Sorelson’s expression softened with feigned sympathy, then quickly sharpened again.

“So you shouldn’t have coveted it so carelessly. A mad woman like you.”

There’s a mad disease in our blood, El.

“I hear no one in House Brynhill will help you. Is that true?”

So we’re the only ones who are each other’s friends.

“How pitiful…. Hehe, I’ll let this pass for now, but you should be more careful from now on.”

As she spoke, Miss Sorelson took out a small bottle from the little handbag hanging at her wrist.

“It’s a pity that’s all that’s left. I made good use of it, Madam.”

Raising her index finger to her lips in a shh gesture, telling her to keep quiet, Miss Sorelson closed the door. The smoothly upturned curve of her lips was visible through the gap before it disappeared.

Eleanor stared, as if entranced, at the small perfume bottle in her hand. The contents of the beautiful scented oil bottle, larger and more delicately crafted than this, must have all been poured out somewhere, just as she said.

“….”

What was it all for? What had Eleanor done wrong?

Her head spun. Something hot boiled up through her entire body.

She squeezed her eyes shut, and night came to mind. The night when the warmth and comfort of the man’s embrace had been by her side.

Other days after that came to mind as well. The man’s attitude turning suddenly cold, Lady Jules’s eyes that pressed her harshly, and also… Lili’s small back as she stepped in front to shield her from the rain, and the dress embroidered with blue flowers.

“I’m going to disappear from this world, El. Just like I did from the beginning.”

Del had said that.

“We won’t be able to do anything.”

You, who used to say we could do anything, had spoken like that in self-mockery.

And I….

“….”

The trembling stopped. She couldn’t feel her breathing or the heat, nothing at all.

“You don’t need to go that far.”

“Sending servants away is a common matter. Rather, you should be relieved that things didn’t spread further like this. The Duke doesn’t know anything about matters among ladies.”

“It’s my household, so you may leave your concern at that, Aunt. I find this to be somewhat excessive interference.”

“Interference? Ha, if the Duke had chosen a proper lady of the house, I wouldn’t have to interfere like this. Do you think I enjoy tending to the household matters one by one like this, as an old aunt? It’s tiring work for an aging body, even for me.”

Miss Sorelson, who had been eavesdropping on the voices from inside, composed her expression and entered the dining room with an apologetic air. She took her seat and let her voice tremble slightly.

“It seems… the Duchess isn’t feeling well. She hasn’t come out at all….”

With a benevolent expression, Lady Jules comforted her kindly.

“You’re here as a guest, so don’t trouble yourself further, young lady. The virtue of a lady of the house is more generous than you think.”

Miss Sorelson struggled to suppress a smile. Perhaps before the year was out, she might hear news that the Duke and Duchess had divorced.

Until then, she wanted to leave as strong an impression of herself as possible. So that when the Duke of Nielsen considered remarriage, he would think of her at once. It was with that thought that she parted her lips.

“Miss Sorelson, you are not to come and go from House Nielsen any longer. It would be best if you returned at once.”

“Duke!”

At the sudden order to leave, Lady Jules was the first to react in shock.

Startled, Miss Sorelson reviewed what she might have done wrong. The handling of the perfume bottle, everything that had happened until now, had all unfolded in her favor.

All of this had been done to see Matthias Nielsen, and Miss Sorelson felt tears well up at the unfairness.

“D-did I do something wrong—”

His cold blue eyes fell on her without emotion.

“Because of you, my household has grown noisy, so as its head, isn’t this only natural? And besides.”

The tone of his voice felt especially sharp.

“I find it extremely unpleasant that you do not seem to respect my wife. Even if she made some mistake or error, this is Nielsen.”

That this wasn’t a place where she could behave carelessly was clear even without him finishing the sentence.

Matthias’s demeanor was colder than ever before. Even Lady Jules, who would usually add a remark at a time like this, only opened and closed her mouth, stunned by the chill she’d never seen in her nephew.

With a face on the verge of tears, Miss Sorelson hurriedly responded, “It’s a misunderstanding! I, I… respect Nielsen, and the Duchess. I’ve served her faithfully as a lady-in-waiting!”

“A faithful lady-in-waiting daring to speak of whether the maids serving her mistress should be dismissed or not is quite remarkable.”

As always, he should’ve remained an observer. Something inside Matthias urged him to do just that. At first, that had been his intention. Just as his aunt said, this was a matter between women, not something he needed to step into.

However, moment by moment, he felt something he couldn’t endure rising within him. Watching Eleanor quietly accept humiliation and embarrassment with her gentle composure, he realized that his mood had soured.

“Therefore, I ask that you refrain from setting foot in Nielsen from now on. Lady Jules will not be inviting you again either. This is Nielsen’s domain.”

“Ha….”

Lady Jules let out a disbelieving sigh, but she couldn’t deny it. This was, undeniably, his domain as the head of the household and Duke.

Realizing that even the old lady would not take her side, Miss Sorelson grew desperate.

She couldn’t let go of this opportunity she had barely managed to grasp. Just as she was about to add something—

“Your Grace, even so—”

A metallic smell reached her nose first. Her sense of smell came before anything else, then sensation followed. Something slick poured down over her head.

Sticky, viscous, carrying a strong iron-like stench. At the same time her carefully adorned face twisted, screams and gasps flew toward her.

Lowering her eyes, she saw it clearly. Something lukewarm, sticky, and slick. A maddeningly vivid red. The same color as the Saffurio (soup made with blood) served at dinner.

“…Kyaaah!”

At Miss Sorelson’s piercing scream, Eleanor smiled.

“Endure it. And forget.”

Why do I have to endure?

Why should I forget?

It felt like she had once heard the answer to that question.

Amid the chaos soaked in blood and screams, she quietly smiled.