Winter Bud - Chapter 63

Nanna stayed at the ducal residence like that. She stayed and became pregnant without wanting to. The father of the child was a man who couldn’t grant any of Nanna’s wishes. Nanna didn’t have much she expected from him either. Even so… she wanted to give birth to the child she’d ended up having. She thought that this time, she might be able to leave the ducal residence. But….

“Is there something you’re worried about?”

Jerix asked Nanna as she stared blankly at the vegetable patch. Nanna cautiously lifted her gaze and looked at him. Jerix didn’t ask what she was thinking, as if she were mute for keeping her lips sealed around people. If it had been the Emperor, he would’ve hardened his eyes and asked what she was thinking with that tiny head.

“The sun’s too scorching, so let’s go inside.”

Summer was passing, but the midday sunlight was still hot. Nanna nodded and came out of the vegetable patch. Suddenly, Jerix’s gaze landed on the thing in Nanna’s hand. Nanna stopped, thinking, ‘Oh no.’

“This….”

“What is it?”

“Thank you for last time. And I’m sorry.”

“Ah.”

“It’s nothing much. Here, it’s a small snack.”

Blushing, Nanna held out the thing in her hand. Jerix looked at the item wrapped in a small cloth. Since she called it a snack, it seemed to be food. He took the neatly tied cloth-wrapped bundle.

“Thank you.”

“I don’t know if it’ll suit your taste, b-but please go eat it quickly before it goes bad.”

“Is it something like a sandwich?”

“H-how did you know? I tried making a little sandwich and a pumpkin blossom dish.”

Jerix looked down at the box she’d offered as a snack, then gave a small laugh and looked at Nanna. Nanna, her cheeks reddening, was flustered and worked her lips.

“I guessed by chance. By the way, what’s a pumpkin blossom dish?”

“…It’s food from my hometown.”

“Can I eat it now?”

“H-here?”

“There’s a wisteria trellis over there,” Jerix said.

Nanna craned her neck, wondering if there really was something like a wisteria trellis, and looked. Jerix said, “I’ll show you.” Nanna nodded and followed behind him with quick little steps. The wisteria trellis, as Jerix said, really wasn’t far from the vegetable patch.

However, since the season when wisteria bloomed had passed, she couldn’t find any pale purple flowers, only thick, untrimmed wisteria vines.

“My colleagues sometimes come here to smoke.”

“…Yes.”

“It’s a luxury item, but since they’re all sons of high officials….”

Jerix smiled a little. Nanna wondered if he smoked, too. As the man said, tobacco was a luxury item that nobles would enjoy. Since it was one of the high-end trade goods, commoners had a hard time coming across it, so among commoners there were many people who didn’t even know what tobacco was. Still, the Emperor and the Duke were quite fond of it, so from time to time they would gamble or play billiards with pipes in their mouths.

Thea would also put a pipe in her mouth with them, and the sight of her looked no different from other male nobles, so it looked quite cool. But even so, Nanna hated that smoke. Acrid and stale…. The smoke that stung her nose made her cough. So even when Thea offered it, Nanna was quick to shake her head and step back.

“Do you smoke, sir?”

“No. It’s not my taste.”

Jerix smiled faintly. He took off his gloves and untied the cloth. Nanna examined his face with tense eyes. He drew his lips into a smile.

“It looks delicious. Did you make it yourself?”

“…Yes. I borrowed Sister Raphaella’s kitchen for a little while.”

Nanna nodded shyly. It wasn’t special food. She wanted to convey her gratitude. In truth, she also felt sorry for having shown him something so unsightly. But if she went to him out of the blue and asked him to forget what happened, it felt like she’d look too shameless.

“I was flustered then. That happens to me sometimes.”

“I hear that happens when you get pregnant, so don’t worry too much. It’s something I understand.”

Nanna, her cheeks stained red, turned her head in surprise. Her eyes met Jerix’s. His light brown eyes were kind. Nanna pursed her lips. The man who had been staring at her picked up the pumpkin blossom dish with his fingers and examined it.

Nanna dropped her gaze, feeling unnecessarily nervous. Nanna’s hometown was a village somewhere in the east. She didn’t know whether the entire east ate food like this, but Nanna’s mother would sometimes make it for young Nanna, calling it a special dish.

Of course, for a special dish, the recipe was simple. You picked pumpkin blossoms and washed them clean, then filled them with cheese and raisins and fried them. Usually, they said you also put in anchovies, but Nanna’s family was poor, so they couldn’t add anchovies.

“It’s good.”

The man said as he took a bite of the pumpkin blossom dish. Curious whether he meant it, Nanna stared at his face, then their eyes met. She turned her head away out of habit.

“You must’ve been startled that I mentioned your pregnancy first.”

“Well….”

“A while ago, the captain of the imperial guard told us to be especially careful while standing guard at the Western Palace.”

“…I see.”

Nanna curled her lips inward and bit them. In two bites, Jerix finished the pumpkin blossom dish and turned back to Nanna. Nanna, who had been pressing her gaze flat to the ground, quietly clenched her fist. There was nothing special about how he came to know about Nanna’s pregnancy. Nanna was pregnant…. They’d been cautioned to do their work more diligently. But still….

“So I also remembered what you said a while ago.”

“Pardon? What did I say….”

“You spoke about contraceptives.”

“Ah.”

Nanna, who had lifted her head in a hurry, shoved her gaze down again. Why had she said so many things she wanted him to forget…. She swallowed a gulp of dry saliva.

“Your mind must be complicated.”

“No. I….”

Nanna blinked her dry eyes. Was it comfort? This was the first time someone worried about Nanna like this. Then again, it was also the first time she’d acted however she pleased because she was angry, then regretted it afterward. Nanna raised her gaze and looked at him. He wasn’t looking at Nanna, but up at the wisteria leaves that had dried out under the summer sun.

His square jaw was sharp and solid. Nanna stared at him, then lowered her gaze. Suddenly, a thought occurred to her. Maybe the reason Nanna was confused and in pain wasn’t because she was pregnant, but because she was carrying an unwanted child. 

Thinking that, she felt guilty toward the child in her belly, and yet she also felt a bit of relief. As she turned her head, her gaze tangled with those hazel eyes again. In that instant, she felt a gentle ripple, like a feather tickling her heart. Nanna, her lips twitching, finally faced forward and opened her mouth.

It was because she suddenly remembered what he’d said a little earlier. That he understood, naturally, the heart of a pregnant woman…. Did he have a wife?

“H-how many children do you have, sir?”

“Me?”

“Yes. Your wife….”

“I’m unmarried.”

He smiled faintly. Nanna let out a small gasp of “Ah,” then pressed her lips together tightly. She’d naturally assumed he had a wife. So he was unmarried. Nanna’s nose tinged red, and she murmured, “I, I see.”

“I’m sorry for misunderstanding.”

“No. That can happen. All my colleagues my age are married.”

“Sir….”

“I just haven’t met my partner yet.”

Jerix cleared his throat and replied in a small voice. Nanna looked at the man, whose cheeks were faintly flushed, for a long moment, then turned her gaze away and parted her lips.

“I hope you meet a good person.”

***

Slan was wearing a clean, soft shirt, over it a vest decorated with laurel leaves embroidered in gold thread. His cravat, neatly tied with generous folds, was also clean and proper, making him look more dignified than usual. He checked whether the child he hadn’t seen in a while had been lacking in care.

He seemed a little taller, and the plump baby fat was still there. He’d already received confirmation from the tutor who taught his son that Slan’s understanding of geography was good. His homework was never late, and he didn’t fool around during lessons.

In short, he was a diligent and clever child. He looked up from the homework his son had handed him. They said most seven-year-olds couldn’t even read properly yet, but Slan could already speak two languages. He looked at his son and opened his mouth.

“Well done.”

“…I’m honored, Your Majesty.”

“You should call me Father.”

He gently corrected the child. Slan glanced at him, then nodded. He looked at his son, who was fidgeting with both hands in a childlike manner.