Winter Bud - Chapter 59

“It’s not like that….”

“You can be honest. Doesn’t your mother want to return to the palace? Didn’t she ask you to beg me to let her come back?”

“Th-that’s not true.”

Slan shook his head vigorously. The child firmly pressed his plump lips together and then looked back at him. He stared at his young son, frustratingly.

“You think that too, don’t you?”

“I just want Mom to be where she feels at ease. Somewhere she can be happy. Mom misses Freya a lot.”

Slan stammered as he opened his lips. Orestes, walking down the forest path with the child in front of him, felt a surge of irritation. He was annoyed that the child didn’t say a single thing he wanted to hear. But then again, he found it ridiculous to get angry at a kid and wondered what the boy had done wrong. Slan didn’t seem to be lying.

Did Nanna keep the child close without revealing her true thoughts? Or was she lying to him? Either way, it was like that. Watching his son shrink his shoulders, he pulled the boy a little closer. Slan glanced up at him. Their eyes met.

“I’ll send you to the Western Palace, so tell your mother to invite me to dinner.”

“….”

“Do you understand what I mean?”

At Orestes’ question, Slan nodded. After that, he went on about Nanna. He thought that if he was good to the child, Nanna would have fewer unnecessary thoughts. That way, she’d try to return to her original self and maybe try to stay by his side a little longer.

As he remembered the woman who had become so twisted, he kissed the boy’s cheek. Slan was adorable. As he grew fond of him, he started to see more and more resemblance to his mother.

He got off his horse and, while the boy fed hay to the animal, told him to call him father. Slan, startled, stared at him. He gently picked up the child and asked, “You don’t want to?” When he smiled, Slan shook his head and weakly said, “Father.” Pleased, he kissed the crown of his son’s head again.

“I never hurt the child.”

“But….”

“Being a father isn’t a crime, is it?”

He got off the woman’s slender body. Nanna, lost in confusion, glared at him and then turned her head. Swallowing the anger that was quietly rising, he grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him.

“What do you want?”

“Nothing….”

“How long are you going to act like this?”

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

Nanna shook her head. She really seemed not to get it. Orestes reached out and grabbed her breast. The shocked woman tried to pull his hand away. He asked, “You don’t like it?” Nanna stammered, then barely managed to speak.

“B-but… I already… already have a baby….”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t use your bottom hole.”

“Your Majesty.”

“I have no wench other than you, so I must do what I must do.”

“But the Empress is….”

“I don’t understand why you keep bringing up my wife.”

Orestes frowned slightly in displeasure. Nanna, her face pale and dry, stared at him before lowering her gaze.

No matter how she thought about it, she couldn’t understand him. After all, there was Thea now…. Nanna was pregnant too. If he sought her for the sake of producing an imperial heir, that might be one thing, but shouldn’t he stop by now?

He has a woman he loves, so why….

“Take it off.”

“Her Majesty the Empress will be heartbroken.”

“Why?”

“Because this isn’t right, doing this while you have a wife you love.”

Nanna thought of Thea. The woman who awoke after eight long years of sleep seemed dumbfounded by the absurd reality. She couldn’t fully express her devastation due to her position, so all she could do was let out hollow laughs. Seeing that, Nanna felt unbearable guilt and wanted to throw herself away.

She had envied Thea, had cried in secret wishing she had what Thea did, but she had never tried to steal it. In truth, once those things became hers, they didn’t even shine. A kind father, a loving husband—they were kind only because they belonged to Thea. They were warm because they were hers.

Even so, Thea’s misery must be beyond words. A maid she’d cherished like a sister became her husband’s consort and bore his children…. Worse yet, that woman had once warmed her father’s bed.

And now that woman was carrying her husband’s child.

“If it were me, if it were me….”

“Say it.”

“I don’t think I could forgive me.”

Nanna thought of Thea. If the maid she kept close and cherished came to possess what she wanted most, what she had long hoped for enough to trade her life for… how would it feel if the maid she used as her limbs gave birth to her husband’s children? Nanna dared not even imagine. It seemed she would be tied tight in overwhelming sadness and anger, unable to move.

“You know what kind of tragedy Her Majesty the Empress suffered.”

Nanna tried not to cry. She didn’t know how she became such a terrible person. Thea had always been kind to her. The thought that she was the one who hurt Thea most was unbearable.

“I don’t know how I became this kind of person. Lady Thea was always kind to me. She saved my life….”

If it weren’t for Thea, Nanna would have been stuck in a brothel and really wouldn’t have escaped a prostitute’s life. Truly, there was no other ungrateful wench. If she were Thea, she wouldn’t have been able to endure her at all. It wouldn’t be enough even if she spat on her face. Nanna sobbed painfully, her shoulders trembling. When she thought of Thea, she thrashed in unbearable agony. How could the Emperor remain so indifferent?

He said he loved his wife. He’d known Thea since boyhood. He nearly lost his life due to the civil war within the territory, and in fact, it is unknown what would have become of him if it weren’t for Thea either. Nanna recalled the moment she encountered him for the very first time, then dropped her gaze.

“So that tiny head of yours was thinking all that.”

Suddenly, the Emperor let out a laugh. Nanna looked at him with a dazed face. His large hand lifted her and sat her on his thigh. Nanna squirmed, pushing against his chest to avoid getting closer. His thick arm wrapped tightly around her.

Since being confined to the Western Palace, she felt more and more that this man only desired her body. His breath brushed her eyes. It wasn’t even anything special, but it gave her chills. Orestes calmly stroked her back. It was as if everything she said meant nothing to him.

He didn’t seem angry or even curious.

“I know what you’re thinking now. But you have no right to speak about the relationship between my empress and me.”

“Your Majesty.”

“If you truly want to be loyal to her, bear me more children. That would be for Thea’s sake.”

His hand stroking her waist touched her face. With the back of his hand, he calmly stroked her breasts and cheeks. Her lips dried, and the murmurs on the tip of her tongue seemed to dry up as well. It seemed the Emperor really believed that having her was something done for his wife’s sake. Rationally, there was no reason he couldn’t think that way.

Thea had always been frail. She inherited her sickly mother’s disposition and spent most of her childhood bedridden. Her periods were irregular, and according to the court physician, her uterus was so weak that even if she got pregnant, it would be difficult to carry the child to term.

So maybe a truly loyal maid should be willing to sleep with her master’s husband and get pregnant for her mistress’s sake. That might be what he thought. Even in the early days of the Old Empire, there were plenty of such cases. In some regions, it was even customary for a maid to sleep with the groom before the wedding.

They’d sleep with him to test if he was sexually functional or if he had any bad habits in bed. There were women who checked all that in detail and reported back. Sometimes, they even got pregnant in their mistress’s place and gave birth instead of her, sparing the mistress the hardship of childbearing.