Winter Bud - Chapter 58

“Mama….”

Slan crawled toward her, who was trembling and pale. Biting her lip tightly, she curled up as small as she could in front of her young son. The baby looked like his father. People said sons usually took after their mothers, but this baby had taken entirely after his father.

That made her clench her fists even tighter. Her head filled with grief. Orestes terrified her. But he was like an unavoidable disaster. There was no escaping him. All she could do was slowly swallow him down as he pushed in.

“Mmmama….”

Slan, who had been crawling over, plopped down beside Nanna. She looked at her young son with a face soaked through with tears. Those amber eyes, like summer sunlight, wandered over her. Nanna reached out and pulled him into her arms.

The Emperor would occasionally send her the child. Even though she was the one who had carried and birthed him after ten painful months, it was as if he alone had ownership. She couldn’t decide even the smallest thing, what the child ate, what he wore. Let alone where he stayed.

Even the time they could meet, the time she could hold him, was predetermined. Nanna wanted to hold her child a little longer. She wanted to cradle him and kiss his cheek. She wanted to win favor with that man. She no longer cared about his heart… she just wanted to earn a bit of pity to stay with her child.

But the Emperor always sent the child when she least wanted to see him. She couldn’t understand why. Always at times like this. When her body was wrecked by him and she could do nothing but cry. That’s when he would send her the child.

What could a baby barely a year old possibly do? He couldn’t do anything. He didn’t even know anything…. She got angry, but still, seeing her baby, even like this, made her happy. Nanna liked babies. She just did. They were lovely just to look at. Even other people’s children, who shared no blood with her, looked lovely, so how could her own child not be beautiful?

Orestes seemed to know that. He knew exactly where Nanna was vulnerable. While threatening her, hating her, tormenting her, he still tried to take everything from her, as if he couldn’t leave a single piece behind. And just when she was left weeping in her misery, he would send her the child. As if he wanted something. Maybe it was a delusion… but it made the child feel like a tool or a hostage. And now….

“I’m the boy’s father. You were begging me to take an interest in him, now you think it’s wrong for a father to act like one?”

“…I’m not an idiot.”

Her eyelashes trembled finely. Nanna quivered, distorting her face. Thinking of Slan, shrinking in fear, studying her expression, she felt like she could cry forever. But instead of tears, Nanna slowly stood up and grabbed his chest. Clinging to him, she ended up in his arms. If the man stretched out his arms and pulled her in, she would crumble helplessly into his embrace.

“Don’t torment Slan. Just leave the child alone.”

“…How amusing.”

“He wasn’t born to be Your Majesty’s hostage.”

“You think I’m treating him like a hostage?”

The low question rang in her ears. For the first time, Nanna glared at him. She had never once resisted him in any moment, so it even surprised her. Maybe it was because she was pregnant, but just thinking of Slan made everything feel like a wreck. She heaved for a while, then pulled away from his chest. As she tried to back away, a large hand seized her.

“L-let me go.”

“Say that again.”

Rough force fell over her. Orestes smirked and yanked her in.

“Your Majesty! I-I’m scared!” Nanna screamed.

It was pathetic to get so angry and then shrink back in fear again. But the man, hardening around the eyes, was truly terrifying. Nanna tried to shake off the hand grabbing her, but stumbled and fell backward onto the bed. The man slowly came down over her. She gasped, breath shallow, and bit her lip instead of meeting his gaze.

“…Foolish thing.”

The man muttered the insult without a hint of falter, then relaxed his expression. Nanna held her breath and silently shed tears. Then he suddenly groped her swollen breasts. Even in a moment like this, her white, full breasts were beautiful enough to arouse him.

Orestes stared at the woman, her chest covered with plain linen. The woman flinched whenever their eyes were about to meet, and he found her endlessly hateful, yet still, the urge between his legs was unbearable.

There was no way this cheap, vulgar thing could be love. This woman didn’t carry the same color as him in the slightest. Yet Nanna often talked about Thea. As if she stood on the same ground as her. As if he had betrayed Thea.

He didn’t want to hear his wife’s name from this woman’s lips. Because he never wanted to do such things with Thea. He never wanted to greedily suck at her smooth, milky skin, laid bare with not even a hair to cover her. He didn’t dare.

He had always been cautious with Thea. Just wrapping her in his arms and holding her breast gave him a shiver. Doing anything more than kissing her was impossible to imagine. That had always been the case.

She was precious, beloved, but he couldn’t do with her what he did with Nanna. Things like grabbing her hips and spreading her legs without hesitation. Forcing her to lie down and driving his cock in until her eyes rolled back. But all of that, he had done with Nanna. It was never difficult with Nanna.  So only Nanna must be the wench. Because he only went into heat for Nanna.

Still, it wasn’t strange. This was just the kind of woman she was…. Even if it was unforgivable, there had been a time when Nanna served another man as her master. Remembering that only made him rougher in bed. He couldn’t accept being second. It was an unbearable humiliation.

“I hate young things that aren’t fully grown.”

“…Hk, huh.”

“Every time you brought that crying baby to me, it always frayed my nerves.”

“H-hhk… uh, huh….”

“Still, I’m the father of the child you gave birth to. If there’s anything you ever wanted from me, it was that.”

He didn’t love the child. Just like how he had no feeling for Nanna beyond lust. As if he had separated love from lust. Though he recognized the necessity of the child the woman gave birth to, he didn’t feel any affection for the child. Still, Slan was the successor. He was made crown prince, and his succession was acknowledged. That alone should have been enough, but Nanna wanted more than that.

“So then, I granted it. Why complain?”

Orestes recalled the moment he held the child. That is, when he held Slan. When he lifted the still tiny child up onto the saddle, the feel wasn’t bad. The frozen child was quiet and only glanced nervously at him. He ruffled the child’s hair and made him hold the reins. Slan obediently followed him.

Thinking it was the baby Nanna had given birth to made him feel affection. The reason the child looked so lovely might not have been because he was his, but because he had come from Nanna’s womb. He opened his lips to the child, who called out, “Your Majesty,” and turned around.

“Has your mother ever told you stories about me?”

“Pardon?”

“Your mother.”

He spoke indifferently. Though quick-witted, the child was still a child, so he seemed to struggle to grasp the meaning. Slan stared at him and then shook his head. He asked again:

“Your mother is sensitive and difficult. No matter what I do for you, she’s never satisfied.”

“…Yes.”

“So you need to tell her properly. That I gave you my time.”

Orestes pinched the young Slan’s cheek lightly and turned his head. Slan blinked a few times with nervous eyes, then shut his lips tight. He tried to continue the conversation with his young son. After asking how he got along with his sister, he finally asked what he truly wanted to know.

“I’ll ask again. Has your mother ever said anything to you about me?”

“Mother….”

“She’s a woman always full of complaints. I’m sure she’s said this and that about me regarding you.”