Winter Bud - Chapter 51

Thea’s father never once looked at Nanna, not in public settings nor even in private ones with Thea present. He never expressed any interest or affection. He was indifferent and dry. Judging by his attitude alone, one wouldn’t think they were a couple who rolled in the sheets every night. Not a speck of affection was visible.

Maybe that’s why this felt so bewildering. She had always believed that what was precious to her father, what he truly cherished above all else, was his one and only daughter: herself.

In truth, she still believed that now. She thought this sharp flare of anger was only momentary. Once this passed and Nanna returned unharmed, he’d go back to being the gentle father she knew. He would apologize for raising his voice and hardening his expression like this.

“That girl needs to start a family too. It’s been her long-held dream to find a good husband, have children, and live happily.”

Thea murmured, stifling a sigh. From what she heard, it seemed Nanna met that stable hand every evening…. Perhaps good news would come soon. After all, she was at the age where she should be building a life of her own. She couldn’t serve her father in his bed until she grew old and died. It would be best for her to find a decent man while she was still in her prime.

There was no way their relationship could last forever. So of course it had to end eventually.

“…Unless there’s a child, maybe. But your relationship with her is bound to end someday, right Father?”

Thea parted her dry lips, staring at him sharply. If there had been a child born outside of marriage, maybe that’d be different. Even if circumstances were such, it was common for nobles to turn a blind eye. Still, Thea sometimes wondered what it would have been like if Nanna’s child had seen the light of day. She wondered if it would have been a daughter or a son, and she wondered who it would have resembled.

“Thea.”

“….”

“Go back now.”

At that soft, low voice, her closed lips trembled faintly. Thea glared stubbornly at her father, then turned away with a sulky expression.

Nanna returned soaked to the skin around midnight. It had drizzled since evening.

From the balcony, Thea stared blankly down at the woman. Nanna was moving stiffly, gripped by fear. The ones supporting her as if dragging her along were none other than Orestes’s attendant knights. Apparently, before the Duke’s own search party even moved, the Emperor’s men had already gone out.

Thea turned her eyes toward her fiancé, who was watching Nanna from not far away. His dry gaze followed the stumbling woman.

Nanna, unable to keep her slippery footing, collapsed onto the ground. Whether from shock or disorientation, she kept hiccuping as she tried to prop herself up on the floor. The attendant knight beside her grabbed her shoulder and helped her to her feet again. Just then, Nanna lifted her head and met eyes with Thea. Nanna flinched as if struck by lightning, then froze stiff and didn’t move for a while.

Suddenly, the knight hoisted the frail woman up. Nanna screamed, then burst into tears. It was a very noisy midnight.

***

When she closed her eyes, the image of the ruined Paul came to mind. His long, almond-shaped eyes, his nose dotted with cute freckles though slightly crooked…. His face, kicked so hard by a knight’s boot hard enough to knock out his molars, was covered in blood.

Startled, Nanna had trembled and tried to slip between the armed knights, but it was hopeless. Someone grabbed her by the hair and threw her down with a scream. Then a large knight lifted her up again.

“Sob, sob, let Paul go, please, please let him go….”

She was about to be tied up like a criminal. Nanna, scared out of her mind, brought her hands together and begged. Then a man with the imperial crest on a red armband yelled at her to shut her mouth. He held a horsewhip in his hand. Nanna sobbed in fear. All she could think was: what if Paul died from this?

And still, she had no idea what they’d even done wrong. She had gotten Thea’s permission. They hadn’t gone anywhere far from the manor. Paul wasn’t someone she shouldn’t have met. He wasn’t a traitor to the country. He wasn’t some remnant of the Old Empire. Nanna had just gone with Paul to ‘Robin Valley.’

Robin Valley was a place not far from the manor. It was at the edge of the mountain, but not too dangerous. And since Paul was from there, there was even less reason to worry. But then….

“P-please, sir. Please don’t… please… please….”

Nanna’s face turned red as she clasped her hands together in pleading. The ground, slick with drizzle, was soaked and muddy, but she still knelt down. The knight holding the whip looked down at her for a moment, then gestured to the men behind him. One of them stepped forward and pulled Nanna to her feet. She tried to jerk away from them, shaking her head.

But all the knights were big, brawny men. Nanna, not even half their size, had no way to escape those rough, graceless hands. The beating stopped. She screamed, “Paul!” toward the man crumpled on the ground like a discarded scrap of paper. He wasn’t even conscious.

“Let go, let go of him!”

Nanna rushed over, trying to lift Paul up. He hadn’t done anything wrong. They had simply been having a good time. Holding hands, cozy together…. Nanna had smiled shyly, and Paul had been stealing glances at her.

Robin Valley was, just like Paul said, a great place to see the stars. The night sky sparkled like it had been dusted with diamonds. It looked as though the stars would rain down at any moment.

They had stared up at the sky for a long time. Then a breeze passed through, bringing a chill. Nanna gently leaned her body against Paul’s shoulder. He seemed a little startled but didn’t push her away. Instead, he wrapped his toned arm around her small body.

They stayed like that for a while, then looked at each other. So naturally, she had started imagining a future with Paul.

Thea had said she’d be better off marrying an apothecary’s son or the eldest son of a musical instrument dealer than a stablehand who worked daily with animal dung. Nanna had only smiled bashfully.

Women, they said, must marry well to avoid a miserable fate…. The kitchen maids often spoke such words. They meticulously calculated, searching for suitable marriage prospects of the right age. Even among servants working in the same manor, they scrutinized everything: whether parents were present, personality, and accumulated wealth.

But Nanna… she didn’t care. She just wanted to marry someone she truly loved. If he loved her deeply, that would be enough. Even if he was poor, if he was diligent, they could overcome hard times together.

Paul was a good man. Sometimes he was clueless, but he was kind and gentle. What if they left the ducal estate and started over in some quiet town or countryside? Nanna had never lived anywhere else, but… if it was with Paul, she felt like it would be okay.

Maybe he really was her true match. She had loved the Emperor from afar for a long time, but she’d never actually wanted anything from him. Whenever she got close to him, her heart would pound from his sharp good looks, but even so, she never dared to desire him. Not because he was Thea’s fiancé, but because he was the Emperor, someone far too high above to even look up at.

The same went for Duke Everhardt. Even before losing the child, but especially after, she had stopped expecting anything from him. A warm, loving family like the one she dreamed of having with Paul…. No, she didn’t want anything like that with Thea’s father.

“Come here!”

The knight who grabbed Nanna’s slender body as she tried to run towards Paul shouted. It felt like thunder clapped in her ears. Nanna looked up at the man who had seized her with both arms. He had short gray hair and black eyes. His sun-darkened skin contrasted with refined, noble features, making him memorable to her.

He was a knight of the Imperial Guard who had served the Emperor since his youth. Nanna didn’t understand why he was grabbing her so violently. The scent on the man, like that of a beast, froze her where she stood. Her body trembled harder the more she was pressed against his broad chest, and her strength drained away.