Winter Bud - Chapter 49

Paul was the stable hand of the ducal residence. He was a couple of years older than Nanna, but with his freckled face and simple manner of speaking, he seemed five or six years younger than her.

Nanna sometimes thought he felt like the younger brother she had been separated from in childhood. Her brother also had fine freckles scattered over his nose and played mischievous pranks every day. She had spent her entire days stuck close to him because he was her younger sibling….

“Nanna. Have you been well?”

“…Yeah.”

“What kind of place is Hevillie?”

Like Thea, Paul believed Nanna had gone to the countryside village of Hevillie to visit someone ill and had returned. He asked with great seriousness what kind of place Hevillie was. Nanna glanced at the young foal he was raising, then looked back at him.

He followed her gaze to where she had been looking and asked if she liked the foal. Nanna stared blankly at him for a moment, then nodded. He led her into the stables. Nanna looked at the foal wandering near a pile of straw.

“Try touching her.”

Paul brought the foal toward Nanna as he spoke. Nanna slowly stroked the foal with a white forehead patch shaped like a sugar cube. The fur was softer than she expected. The foal accepted her touch with gentle eyes, then nudged her belly with its head. Nanna smiled slightly, baring her teeth.

“Cute, right?”

“Yeah.”

“She’s a filly. She’ll grow up to pull Lady Thea’s wedding carriage. She’s a very fine breed.”

Paul said this while roughly scratching the foal’s back. Nanna murmured, ‘I see.’ Even if she lived on with an empty womb, nothing had changed. Nanna felt like the world had changed, but in truth, nothing had.

When the period the physician had mentioned passed, the Duke called for her again. He looked over her naked body, then held her the same way as before. The only difference was that he looked at her flat stomach more often. Sometimes he even stroked it gently. Not understanding what that meant, Nanna stared blankly at him, then lowered her eyes. She didn’t want to look at the Duke’s naked body. He wasn’t her husband, and she hated being held so often like this.

She was afraid she might get pregnant again, yet she also discovered the contradictory desire of wanting to have a baby again if that was the only way.

“Maybe I really do like babies.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing.”

Paul, who had been scratching the foal’s back, turned his head. Nanna looked at him. Their eyes met. Instead of asking what she meant, Paul simply blushed. Nanna stared at that for a moment, then opened her lips.

“Thank you, Paul.”

She gave a faint smile. Paul stammered, ‘W-what did I even do?’ Nanna let out a small laugh, turned around, and left the stables. Thea had told her not to associate with servants who were too low-ranked. Even if Nanna had been a maid, a lady-in-waiting was still a lady-in-waiting. The Duke also didn’t seem pleased with her spending time with the servants.

Did they think Nanna would casually run around telling people about their relationship? She didn’t know the reason, but Nanna didn’t particularly mind spending time with the servants. Especially someone pure-hearted like Paul….

“You went to the stables?”

“Yes.”

“I heard a foal was born.”

“They say she’ll pull your carriage one day. She’s really cute.”

“You really do like little ones.”

Thea laughed. Nanna didn’t reply. Unlike other noble young ladies, Thea didn’t like young animals or animals like cats and dogs. Once, her fiancé the Emperor had given her a pure white cat brought from beyond the southern desert. Thea had held it in her arms a few times, stroking its fur, then passed it into Nanna’s arms.

“I like hunting animals more than petting them.”

It was a terrifying thing to say. Nanna silently watched the woman who said such things with a somewhat cheerful face, then stroked the cat. Thea really did seem that way. She didn’t like babies or young animals.

When Nanna thought of Thea’s question about whether a woman had to like such things just because she was a woman, she could feel the sincerity in it. Just as she had said, there was no rule that a woman had to like things that were small and cute.

“Let’s go.”

Having finished dressing, the woman walked slowly down the long gallery. Today was the day she would dine with the two men she loved. Despite his frequent visits, the Emperor rarely dined together with the father and daughter. Because of that, the servants of the ducal residence thought that the Emperor would finally open his mouth about Thea’s wedding.

Since the empress enthronement ceremony had to be held together with the wedding, there would be much to discuss with the Duke. Nanna walked slowly behind her, then came around in front of her in front of the dining room. Then she opened the dining room door with elegance.

Thea was wearing a light green dress the same color as her brilliant green eyes. She looked very beautiful and elegant, and lovable. With her golden hair pinned up low, covered with a pearl net and adorned with wildflowers, the woman entered the dining room with a sweet smile.

As always, after watching Thea sit down, Nanna stood against the wall and watched them. Gathered at the end of the long table, lightly smiling as they raised their glasses, they seemed like people living in a completely different world, a completely different race. Even so, Nanna sometimes envied Thea, because the pain Thea would never have had to endure was so vivid to her.

Suddenly, her eyes met the Emperor’s. Perhaps he had been watching Nanna for some time, because even after their gazes locked, he kept looking at her rather intently, unlike usual. Nanna was afraid he might read her thoughts. She felt like he might even question her, asking if she dared to envy Thea. In a hurry, Nanna lowered her head and drove her gaze straight down.

“Bring another bottle of wine,” the Duke ordered.

Nanna answered softly, ‘Yes,’ then left the dining room and headed to the winery room. It wasn’t hard to find the wine the Duke wanted. He kept fine wines from various regions, but even so, there were only a few he ever asked for.

At the Duke’s order, the steward bustled about in short steps. With a gloomy face, Nanna took the large bottle he handed her and returned. Even after that, the Duke continued to give various orders. Only then did Nanna realize that he didn’t want her in the dining room.

After bringing a little more bread and setting it on the table, Nanna swallowed dryly under the Duke’s sharp gaze and left the dining room. Was he ashamed to have the woman who clung to him every night displayed in front of his future son-in-law?

That might have been it. It wasn’t just anyone, but the woman he secretly put his hands on in secluded places. To have such a woman stand in front of his daughter and future son-in-law would surely have felt uncomfortable and unpleasant to someone with his fastidious nature. Whenever the Emperor’s gaze brushed briefly over her, Nanna thought of the Duke who had given her orders and walked out of the mansion.

The wind was chilly. She suddenly thought of Paul, who had said he was going to tidy the horse feed. The foal that had still been drinking its mother’s milk also drifted through her mind. She left the terrace and headed toward the stables. These days, it felt like seeing that foal was the one small pleasure of her day.

At least once a day, she always went looking for Paul. Maybe she simply liked Paul. Guileless and gentle. It was more comfortable dealing with Paul than with the other servants. Free of ulterior motives and suspicion, even though he had a mischievous side, he was cheerful and kind.

“Paul?”

Arriving at the stables, Nanna called for him. But Paul was nowhere to be seen. Nanna glanced at the foal curled up in one corner of the stable, then turned away. She searched the places Paul might have gone, but it came to nothing.

Nanna even went as far as the greenhouse looking for him, then came back to the stables again. She thought that if she returned to the stables and Paul still was not there, she would just give up.

“Nanna?”

It was a familiar voice. Nanna stopped and looked at him. Adjusting his straw hat, Paul looked at her with a face that seemed to ask if she had been looking for him. Nanna stared blankly at him for a moment, then slowly shortened the distance between them. Even though she had spent so long wandering through the manor looking for him and might have felt resentful, actually running into him like this only made her glad.

“Where did you go?”

“Were you looking for me?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Am I not allowed to?”

“N-no, that’s not….”

Paul fumbled for his words. Nanna looked up at him in a daze. Her heart pounded at the sight of him taking off his hat and scratching his head. For the first time, Nanna thought she wanted to have a man. Because Paul, stammering over his words, looked rather cute….