Winter Bud - Chapter 39

So she even turned to alchemy. Even if it meant ruining her relationship with her husband, she thought there was no other choice. Producing an heir wasn’t a mere matter between husband and wife. Suddenly, Thea thought of the woman who had borne not only her husband’s child but her father’s as well. Even as malice and murderous intent bloomed within her, Thea tried to keep her composure.

When she opened her eyes, both her father and her husband were amusing themselves between that woman’s legs. With her innocent face, she claimed she wanted nothing, yet she never gave anyone back what she took. Thea regretted ever saving that woman. Even now, she wanted to sell her back to the brothel.

Was that thought truly wrong? Was she simply too heartless? But at least Nanna would understand her. That woman truly believed she’d committed an unforgivable sin against her.

“How cute. Alex, call me Sister,” Thea said, smiling.

“Your Majesty.”

The head maid looked at her with a worried face. Thea laughed lightly. It wasn’t wrong to say, was it? But the maid looked frightened that someone might hear. Then, a servant’s voice announced the arrival of Duke Everhardt. Thea, holding the child, told them to let him in.

Soon, her father appeared, looking as dignified as ever. The cape draped over one shoulder made him look even more like a soldier today. Thea read the faint ripple on his expression and smiled with amusement.

“Are you surprised?”

“Yes.”

“My little brother is very cute.”

Thea whispered, stroking the baby’s head with one hand. The child, sucking on his rubber pacifier, turned to look at the man. Sermione instinctively reached his arms toward his young son. Thea hesitated for a moment before handing the child over. Father and son. What a lovely picture.

Her father still looked remarkably young for his age. And since she was his only child, this son must be all the more precious to him. How much did he want this baby? How much must he long to steal him away from the Emperor?

‘If that’s the case, he should’ve just let her bear that child.’

Thea lowered her eyes slightly. Nanna had once been pregnant with her father’s child. It was one of those things Thea pretended not to know. When Nanna had said she was going away to recover from a serious illness, Thea had merely squeezed her hand with a sympathetic look. All the while, she had known exactly what would happen once Nanna was out of her sight.

Not only from Nanna, but she’d said nothing to her father either. He still believed Thea knew nothing about that child. Thea twisted her lips into a faint smile.

“Please watch your words.”

“What do you mean?”

Thea blinked like a fool. Her father only stared silently at her. His expression, usually expressionless, was brittle. That blunt indifference, so sharp it had worn down into coldness, warmed her faintly, but Thea didn’t show it. Dropping her gaze, she looked at the baby in her arms. Her father holding a child not even a year old didn’t look strange at all.

“You want that child, don’t you?”

“….”

“You asked His Majesty to give him to you, didn’t you?”

“Thea.”

“He’s going to be given to you anyway, isn’t he?”

Thea sighed lightly, as though bored, and returned to her seat at the round table. The summer sunlight had grown stronger, and a tray of cold tea had been set out. She lifted the glass beaded with condensation. Even as she drank the mint tea floating with ice, the heat didn’t subside. Picking up a piece of sweet confectionery from the dish, Thea held it out to her little brother.

The baby’s eyes, the color of water, gleamed like smooth jewels. He blinked slowly, then reached out with his tiny hands to grab the confection. The Duke, frowning slightly, snatched the sweet from Thea’s hand and put it into his son’s mouth.

The baby clutched the candy and began sucking on it bit by bit. Thea glanced up at her father, now cold and heartless. His face showed no trace of pity or compassion…. Thea bit her lip hard. 

“They say when you have a younger sibling, you’re overcome with jealousy and a sense of neglect. I guess it’s true.”

“Thea.”

“Orestes knows too, doesn’t he? I didn’t realize I was supposed to keep quiet about the child’s lineage even within my own quarters.”

Thea smirked faintly as she thought of Orestes. Hadn’t he said he would spend the night in the Western Palace last night? Thea nodded to herself. There was no reason to stop him. As long as Nanna fulfilled her role as a broodmare, there was nothing wrong with it.

Orestes, in his own way, was faithful. Even after she had recovered, he never forgot to visit her chambers. He remained kind and gentle. He fulfilled every duty required of a husband. So she should understand. She wasn’t sharing her husband; she was simply respecting him as he fulfilled his duty as emperor. And yet….

“You must want both that child and Nanna for yourself, don’t you, Father?”

Thea raised her head. Even so, she wanted Nanna out of her sight. Would it have been different if she weren’t just her maid? Would it have been fine if it were another woman? She didn’t know. Every relationship in this world was meaningless and harmful to her.

“Thea.”

“Take her away. Now.”

I’m back. Nanna was your woman to begin with.

***

Was this supposed to be a garden bed? Even though there was nothing but dry soil? There wasn’t a single trace of a withered flower, yet somehow it still felt like that’s what it should be called. Jerix moved slowly. In that patch of dirt—whether a garden bed or simply a pile of barren earth—he saw a woman crouching, staring blankly ahead.

Beside her lay an old broom. He watched her silently, chin slightly lifted, before taking a few steps closer. Then he stopped about three handspans away.

“Hmm, ahem…. What are you doing here?”

He cleared his throat and looked at the woman with the wavy silver hair hanging down. Wearing a plain tunic dress, she looked less like a concubine and more like a woman stripped of her status, living as a nun in the Western Palace. Her simple navy linen dress added to that impression. Jerix recalled seeing her once before.

Back then, she had been wearing a silk velvet gown that accentuated her slender curves. As befit an empress, the deep red gown reminiscent of roses had been breathtakingly beautiful. Embroidered with vines of gold and silver thread and adorned with jewels that reflected the grandeur of the imperial family, she had been the very image of elegance.

Her cloudlike hair had been lustrous and voluminous, and the pearl earrings at her ears had been large. Even though she wasn’t the Emperor’s favored consort, her beauty was undeniable. It was impossible to understand why the Emperor treated her so coldly. And yet….

“Your Majesty.”

The woman lifted her head, a white cloth wrapped around her hair instead of the pearl-embroidered gold band she once wore. Her face was pale, drained beyond exhaustion. Jerix tensed slightly as their eyes met.

“The vegetable garden isn’t here, Your Majesty.”

“I know.”

“Then why…?”

Jerix found it strange that she didn’t seem to care that dust had smeared the hem of her dress. With a weary expression, she looked at him before brushing off her dress like a child. Then, folding her hands neatly, the woman looked up at him.

“I have something troubling me.”

“What….”

“Could you help me?”

“I’d have to know what it is….”

“There’s no one else who can help me but you, Sir.”

At being called “Sir,” Jerix’s nose flushed red, and his lips moved slightly. Unable to find the right words to respond, he watched as the woman lowered her gaze again.

“T-tell me. If it’s something I can help with, I’ll do it.”

“I want to use contraception.”

“What?”

Nanna murmured without raising her head. The man’s face froze, as if struck by the cold. Well, how could it not be shocking? Besides, depending on how it was handled, it could cost her her life.

Nanna shook her head. Then, with a soft thud, she sank onto the brick edge of the dirt bed covered in dust. The startled man quickly helped her up, brushed off the dirt with his hand, and laid his handkerchief on top.

“Please sit.”

Nanna gave a faint laugh. She didn’t refuse and sat on his handkerchief. For a moment, the man’s neat, well-shaped features reminded her of someone. The man who had always pushed her into hell. He had a similar build, the same masculine face. That man had left her after breakfast.

Nanna had seen him off with a weary face, hoping he would never return. She’d waited eagerly to hear that a new concubine had entered the main palace, even though she knew it was hopeless. But in any case, the man before her now was different.