Winter Bud - Chapter 26

Nanna thought about the punishment he spoke of. She had done nothing wrong. If there was anything wrong, it was only that she hadn’t died in Thea’s place on the day she was attacked. And yet she had to be punished…. To her, the Emperor himself was the punishment. He was a shackle with no cracks, and now even Thea was added, binding her every moment.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

Nanna, who was shedding tears bit by bit, shook her head. Clutching the pillar as if she were a drowning person grasping at a root on the riverbank, he furrowed his brow. Nanna turned her head away, hating the sight of his distorted face.

She hated looking at the Emperor. She always hated it, and when he took her to bed, she hated it even more. Was it his face, twisted with lust, that she feared? Just like how she hated that he became aroused for her, raising his cock. Did he not know how disgusting it was for a mismatched man and woman to tangle together like beasts on a bed?

Nanna pitied herself every moment. When she had been dragged to the brothel, she’d thought being saved by Thea was like leaving a bottomless cave for the world of light. But after that, her life had been painted all in black. Being ravished by strange men in a brothel and groaning in the arms of the Emperor who hated her—was there really any difference? Nanna could no longer compare which was worse.

“Ahh!”

Just as she bit her lips to keep back her sobs, her hair was yanked. The Emperor forced her head to turn, making her meet his eyes. Terrified, she panted and looked up at him. Seeing her wet face, he scowled in disgust.

“…Ah, it hurts. Please let go,” Nanna muttered weakly.

The Emperor released her. It was unexpected. Usually, the man paid no mind to her pain. Then her body, which had been clinging to the pillar, collapsed back onto the bed. Nanna was tossed around by him like a doll with its strings cut.

“Your Majesty.”

“Spread,” he ordered quietly.

Stiff with fear, Nanna spread her legs. He pressed his erect cock against her parted pussy, rubbing at her opening with his fingertips. Shuddering in horror, Nanna bit down on her lips.

The Emperor gazed down at her face. No, more like he studied her carefully, like a snake watching its prey. What was he examining so intently…? Nanna hated that gaze and slowly turned her head away.

“Haa…!”

His thick, rounded glans pressed insistently against her clitoris, then forced its way through the entrance of her vagina. Nanna squeezed her eyes shut, enduring the sensation of being split apart inside. Joining bodies with the Emperor was never a pleasant experience. It had been the same even when she had lain in Duke Everhardt’s arms…. Nanna never enjoyed sex. Why were humans designed to make babies in this way?

She often wondered about that. 

Why must one be naked, shaking their hips until they lose their senses…? Why were humans designed to feel pleasure during sex? Other beasts didn’t…

“What are you looking at?” he asked heavily as her eyes darted away. His low voice rustled like dry leaves.

Nanna held her breath and looked at him for a moment. He was too close. The Emperor’s face was so close. Trapped with no way to move further back, she tried to distance herself. As she squirmed to escape, the hand gripping her hair grabbed her arm instead. Nanna gasped sharply.

“…Your Majesty.”

“Disgusting.”

The man muttered low as he slowly looked her up and down. It was nearly a whisper to himself, but to Nanna it stung like needles. She stared blankly at the man who had coldly inspected her wretched body. His cock wasn’t fully inside.

Only about halfway…. The thick, dark shaft was wedged in. Her opening was still tight, and it would take time before her fluids came. For some time now, sex with him had been unbearable, making it impossible for her body to relax. Seeing him naked didn’t arouse her; it only made her stiffen in fear. Her muscles locked tight, grinding against him as she forced herself to take him. And there was no way the Emperor didn’t know it.

“Ah, haak. Uh!”

The man who had called her disgusting thrust his hips hard. With a single motion, his thick shaft was fully buried inside. Her groin trembled. Nanna broke into a cold sweat, trying to escape the sensation of flesh grinding against flesh. The pain made her feel as if her body would be torn in two. She exhaled in ragged breaths, covering her chest with both arms.

“What are you doing?”

“Huh?”

“Why are you covering that?”

“That’s….”

The words exchanged were strange. Half out of her senses, Nanna blinked blankly. She couldn’t understand what he was asking. The Emperor, staring darkly at her dazed expression, pushed away the arms shielding her chest. Her arms were thin like dry branches.

Strangely, her breasts and buttocks were full, but the rest of her was withered. Other than her first pregnancy, she had hardly eaten well during her pregnancies. The Empress Dowager had advised that, if possible, Nanna should be left alone during pregnancy. She had even hinted that keeping an unofficial concubine wasn’t such a bad idea. He hadn’t listened.

“Come to your senses.”

“I, I’m fine, Your Majesty.”

Orestes frowned. “You’re flapping your lips like a carp, and you call that being fine?”

The woman glanced at him, then turned her eyes away again, muttering stupidly like a feverish child…. He chewed over her repeated words. That she didn’t want to leave the Western Palace. That she had no desire at all…. Was that what she had said?

He knew it was all lies. The woman beneath him was greedy. She always had been, since her days as Thea’s maid. She had always flushed red, sneaking glances at him with sly eyes. And if their eyes ever met, she would scurry away like a frightened animal with its tail on fire. She clung to shadowed walls, watching his movements, eavesdropping on his conversations with Thea.

And again, if he looked her way, she would bow her head and try to flee as if possessed. Even after becoming Empress, that habit hadn’t changed. She always hid where he couldn’t see her, lusting after him. However he thought of it, she was nothing but a damp, vile woman.

And yet….

“I never lied.”

Lies. All of it was deception. Whenever she opened her mouth, she spewed words that weren’t true. He wondered how he should break her of that vile habit. How could he force her to speak honestly?

“Ah, huh. Ahk, nghh….”

The woman who had been panting with a waxen face began to sob. He stared absently at the tears sliding down her cheeks. Her face, spilling out pain, showed not a single flicker of pleasure. Again, his insides twisted. Something in him coiled sharply. He ground down on her small, rigid body that had curled up tight. She squirmed as if to shrink away from him.

He dragged her small frame back by force. Clutching her flailing arms, he fixed his gaze on her.

“Did you think you could escape from here?”

“Huh?”

The woman asked stupidly in return. Orestes narrowed his eyes and glared at her. She always tried to run from him. She seemed always to be looking for a chance to flee, and recently it had gotten worse.

“Th-that’s not it.”

“Then stay still.”

“But, but you’re too close….”

“What?”

“Your Majesty, you’re too close.”

Nanna muttered, “Your face…” under her breath. Orestes stared darkly at her foolish face. The babbling woman bit her lip tightly, then dropped her gaze downward. His rugged, muscular body came into view. The long diagonal scar that cut across and the wound left on his chest proved how harshly he had lived his life.

So the man was closer to a knight than a ruler. He had lived that way for far longer. Nanna understood why his hands were so rough, even violent. But he wasn’t like that with Thea. Realizing that gap made the ground collapse under her feet in misery.