Winter Bud - Chapter 16

Stateira went out to the balcony. When she saw that the Emperor had truly come to Everhardt Castle, her face brightened. Soon, the Emperor burst into her bedroom. With strides as long as his tall frame, he walked in quickly, lifted the small woman by the waist, and spun her around.

“Karl!”

Stateira shouted sharply at the Emperor who kissed her peach-colored cheek, then buried her face in his chest while glancing at Nanna. Wearing a surcoat rather than a doublet, the Emperor’s attire was clearly not that of someone who had just come from state affairs.

“Were you crying?”

“Of course not.”

The man asked gently as he looked at Stateira’s reddened eyes. Nanna, who had been staring blankly at them, dropped her gaze at the sharp look turned her way.

“Don’t look at Nanna like that. Nanna’s afraid of you.”

Stateira laughed as she playfully smacked his shoulder, seeing Nanna trembling like she had seen a dead rat. While the Emperor’s attention was on Stateira, Nanna hurried to press herself against the wall and calm her pounding heart. It felt like the Emperor was ripping her heart apart savagely. As though the ground beneath her feet was crumbling…. There was nothing to expect or not expect, yet such a feeling came over her for no reason.

Was it when Stateira’s face had darkened? Or when she’d heard that she might not become empress? Nanna didn’t know. She wanted Stateira to become empress. She thought, of course, it had to be her and no one else.

Then why did she feel this way? Why was she disappointed? Why was it so painful to see her fiancé kissing her? There was not the slightest reason to shed tears. She truly did like Stateira. Aside from the fear and difficulty.

But still…. Nanna bit down on her plump lips. A dull ache pressed down on her heart like it was being carved into.

***

When she opened her eyes, it was already past noon. The man who had ravaged her below so mercilessly filled her mind once again.

Had that indifferent face hardened in anger? Nanna smacked her parched lips. If she could go back, could she keep from loving him? No, she couldn’t. She still liked him even now.

She still held on to a faint hope for him. Even if his kindness would never reach her, she wished it would at least touch her children…. That desperate hope hadn’t changed. No, it had only grown deeper with time. But it would never come true.

She staggered to her feet. Her fingers touched the place below she hadn’t washed. Inside still felt damp. Fighting off dizziness, she rang the bell.

The maids came in swiftly and prepared a wooden tub. Though there was a great bathhouse, Nanna couldn’t use it. The Emperor had forbidden it. He gave no reason, and Nanna didn’t ask. Whatever he forbade or allowed was always related to Stateira.

Perhaps it was because of the time he had spent there with Stateira. Holding her in his arms, pouring water over each other…. He probably didn’t want those memories ruined. Nanna had no lingering regret over the fact that he didn’t love her.

The pain in her chest was just a physiological reaction, and if he were to like her, that would be even stranger…. That’s what she thought.

“Are you hurt?”

Suddenly, one of the young maids inspecting her scalp asked. Nanna, who had just remembered the throbbing pain, said she was fine. The maid said nothing more, but her eyes were filled with concern. Like ruins left behind wherever a disaster swept through, after a night with the Emperor, Nanna was always in pain. In the early days, she had suffered terrible fevers, though now it wasn’t that bad, she still suffered constant dizziness and muscle aches.

The Emperor didn’t care even when Nanna was unwell. The Empress Dowager worried for her, but seemed unable to interfere in the matters of the marital bed. Nanna sank into the warm water and swallowed down her gloom.

Just then, one of her ladies-in-waiting entered with a hurried face. Nanna looked at the small woman.

“Your Majesty.”

“…You could’ve waited in the audience chamber.”

Nanna, unable to bear her discomfort, spoke in a blunt voice. The blonde woman who had rushed in waved her hand. Then she clutched her pounding heart and shut her eyes tightly. Nanna stared at the flustered woman.

She had always been like that. Should she be called bright and lively? No, compared to her lack of prejudice and good nature, she was noisy and liked to talk about others.

Nanna didn’t dislike her, and in fact she wasn’t in a position to. Even if she was Empress, she was nothing more than a scarecrow. The woman before her, Countess Oestar, was the only one who had volunteered to become her lady-in-waiting.

Short in stature and plump in build. Her curly blonde hair was dazzlingly bright, and beneath her long lashes, her blue eyes shone, making her quite a pretty woman. Her round face and plump figure made her seem cheerful, but to Nanna, she was as sensitive and fussy as any other noblewoman. It was strange that such a woman would choose to serve her, the puppet Empress, as her lady-in-waiting.

“It was a matter I couldn’t possibly wait outside for.”

“What sort of matter made the Countess so breathless?”

“Why, it’s because Her Majesty the Empress has awakened!”

Nanna, who was rising from the bath clutching her chest, turned to her. The maids who had been covering Nanna’s slender body with long towels also fixed their eyes on Countess Oestar’s face. Even the maids, so used to wearing masks of indifference, looked greatly surprised.

Countess Oestar, unable to bear the gazes directed at her, hunched her shoulders. Yet she showed no sign of retracting her words. Her red lips faltered, then she bit them briefly before speaking again.

“Your Majesty. That is to say….”

“Countess.”

“Of course you’re the Empress. But you know what I mean, don’t you? The Empress of the Empress’s Palace…”

“That woman….”

“Yes. That woman has awakened. The physicians said she had no chance of waking. The alchemists said so too!”

But she had awakened. Stateira….

She was the woman they had said would never open her eyes again, the one they had laid to rest meaninglessly. Even Duke Everhardt, who doted on his daughter, had said last month that it was time to hold her funeral. That it had to be done. But the Emperor hadn’t. And now….

“Your Majesty, then you….”

Nanna’s lashes trembled violently. She didn’t know what to say. It felt like her heart had dropped to the floor. Heat rushed to her face as a chill swept over her. And even though her lower body was still submerged, she felt cold.

Nanna thought of Stateira. More precisely, she remembered her face.

‘When was the last time?’

Her blood-soaked face had been so pale. The last time she had seen Stateira conscious had been that day. She had cradled that small, slender body in her arms and screamed endlessly. They had been stranded on a deserted forest path. A sharp dagger had been driven deep into her chest. More than once….

It had all happened so fast that Nanna hadn’t seen the attacker’s face. The man had pulled his hood low, and though his build was large, he was agile like a jaguar. They had clutched each other on that rain-drenched path. Holding the stabbed Stateira, Nanna had trembled in mad terror, sobbing wildly.

“Miss!”

Stateira was Empress. Yet in that moment, the name that sprang to her lips was the one she had always called her. Even knowing she shouldn’t call her that anymore, she had held her tight and cried out.

As Stateira’s consciousness sank into the depths, her beautiful green eyes shifted and looked at her.