Winter Bud - Chapter 11

Nanna lived in a brothel. Of course, she hadn’t lived like that since childhood. Until she was fifteen, her parents had been by her side. In a shabby village, there was an old country house. The only sight worth seeing in that house was the plum tree that grew in its small yard. They said her grandfather had built it himself, stacking each brick by hand while he was still alive.

Nanna had never seen her grandfather, and her mother had lost him when she was just a girl, so her memories of him were vague. In other words, the time when happiness had existed in that house was so far gone. The comfort of family life, which Nanna had never experienced. The warmth of loving parents….

Nanna only realized there could be loving parents in the world, that a father could be kind, after she met Stateira. That’s why she had envied Stateira’s happiness so much. Nanna truly envied and was jealous of everything about her. At times, in secret, she had even wished Stateira would be unhappy too.

Since she couldn’t dare to wish for the same life as her, at least let her know what despair and sorrow were. The world wasn’t covered with brilliance alone but with dark, endless malice, like storm clouds.

‘I shouldn’t have thought that….’

But she hadn’t meant it with all her heart. When Stateira ended up like that, Nanna chewed her nails to pieces with regret. She hadn’t truly wished for that to happen to Stateira. She had only envied her too much. Her nobility and wealth were things she could never have even in another lifetime. She had just… just envied too much the gentle world that surrounded her.

A beautiful and gentle fiancé who only cared for her. A kind and strong father. Friends who loved her. Grandparents who were strict with their servants but doted on their only granddaughter more than anything. Servants and subjects who revered her as though worshipping a goddess…. Nanna had been enveloped in a bright and warm world she had never known. And Nanna had been a girl who stood very far from that world.

“Miss! Please, I beg you. Just hide me in the carriage once…!”

“You are….”

A memory from over ten years ago filled her mind. Nanna had met Stateira in the summer of her fifteenth year. Nanna’s father was a drunk well-known in the village. Though it was a poor and shabby village, nobody liked a man like that. And, as men like him always do, her father didn’t stop at one thing.

He drank, beat his wife, hurled curses at his children, and raised his hand without a second thought. Nanna, too, had suffered split lips from his blows and had her hair dragged. Then one day.

Her father sold her for a gambling debt. What began as betting a coin or two grew into something bigger. Because of an enormous debt he couldn’t repay, Nanna was sold to a pimp as a prostitute.

“Mom, Mom! Please help me!”

Nanna could never forget that morning. Though now it seemed like another life, the sinister air surrounding that small, worn house was still vivid enough to make her bones ache. The fog was so thick she couldn’t tell dawn had broken. Two men banged the old door as if to break it down and seized Nanna by both arms.

Nanna flapped like a hen caught by the neck, sobbing. Her mother had a baby on her back as she moved around the kitchen. She looked at Nanna with a blank face. She looked as if she had known all along and had no intention of saving her.

Her father was snoring away on the bed. Only Nanna, not knowing what was going on, looked at her siblings and mother. The most shocked was her younger sister, just a year younger than her. But she too only looked back and forth between Nanna and their mother, not knowing what to do.

“Mom.”

“You’ll do well. Nanna, you’re smart. Of all my children, you’re the most capable and clever.”

“What, what do you mean….”

Nanna wept bitterly, her face wet with tears. She screamed she didn’t want to go, but it was no use. Only after being slapped hard across the cheek by one of the men did she come to her senses. Her mother only watched silently. Only then did Nanna realize her situation. That her family had abandoned her….

She thought her mother would be different. She thought her mother cherished her. She said she did, in her own way. Next door, Anna had been sold by her mother to become the concubine of an old man. Across the street, Linda was to become the second wife of a man old enough to be her father. But her mother said she wanted to send Nanna to school.

Once their life got a little better… once her father came to his senses, she wanted to do that. That’s what she said, as she taught Nanna embroidery. Her mother was the best embroiderer in the village. Even a baroness somewhere was astonished by her skill, and once, she had even repaid her husband’s debt with her embroidery. But….

“No, no… it can’t be.”

Nanna curled up and sobbed. The brothel was very far from the village where she had lived. The pimp said it was on the estate of the great Duke Everhardt. Nanna didn’t know who he was. She didn’t know what a duke did, or what kind of family Everhardt was. She knew nothing. She just thought he was one of those high nobles.

In fact, Nanna had never met a noble until she met Stateira. But that was true of most commoners. Commoners couldn’t live in the areas where nobles lived, nor even walk those streets. Just as it was now, in the past too, nobles distinguished themselves from commoners by where they lived and even how they dressed. But usually, you could tell before even looking at their clothes, just by the way they spoke. The words, the accent, everything was different. Yet Stateira liked her.

She said her accent was cute. She even asked her fiancé if he thought so too. Nanna couldn’t understand her feelings. That innocence. That guileless, truthful heart…. So sometimes she asked herself.

Was Nanna’s affection for Stateira genuine? Did she really like her? She said she did, but maybe she hadn’t truly liked her. The truth was, Nanna feared and envied Stateira. Stateira said Nanna was like a sister to her, but everyone knew she wasn’t.

To Nanna, she was as intimidating and uncomfortable as Stateira’s father and her fiancé. Not a single moment had ever been easy.

But in so many moments, Nanna had desperately wanted what Stateira had. She often imagined what it would be like if those things were hers. That’s why she must be suffering heavenly punishment now. Tears rolled down her dry cheeks. The candle that faintly lit the dark room looked precarious. The window wasn’t even open, but it seemed it could go out at any moment.

Nanna remembered the Emperor’s order to wait for the night. She couldn’t remember how the act had ended. She was trembling, panting, unable to swallow the semen pooling in her mouth. When she tried to spit it out, a rough hand seized her hair and covered her mouth.

Nanna’s watery eyes were brimming with tears. Her eyelids and the corners of her eyes were flushed red, making her look lascivious. She was more suited to be called a ‘whore’ than an Empress. He felt the urge to lift her skirts and shove himself into her hole. To pound her until white froth spilled from her cunt.

Then he wanted to show her to the Duke. Suddenly, Nanna glanced sideways at the Duke. The Duke’s face was hard. His Adam’s apple bobbed, and the blue veins at his temples seemed to throb. The Emperor smirked as he looked at Nanna. Even in this state, she kept stealing glances at the Duke.

His temper twisted again. How dare she… still care about her former master in front of him. He let out a cruel, crooked laugh and grabbed her breast. At that vulgar touch, the Duke furrowed his brows and said, “Your Majesty.” The Emperor didn’t answer.

“Swallow.”

“Stop this.”

“This isn’t the Duke’s concern.”

“She may once have been the woman who served me, but now she’s the Empress. The Empress you yourself accepted.”

Duke Everhardt’s composed, low voice was smooth and always pleasant to hear. But at that moment, it made the Emperor’s insides churn. Nanna squeezed her eyes shut, fighting the urge to die. She wanted to bash her head against the marble column supporting the trellis roof. Truly…. The reason she couldn’t wasn’t fear of the Emperor.

The Emperor finally released her trembling body and gave her an order.