Time of the Blind Beast - Side Story 7

3. Dedication

Lisanne.

Right now, you are asleep beside me. Not wanting to disturb your rest, I placed the shade over the lamp to soften the light, but when I happened to turn and look at you, your sleeping face was so gentle and beautiful that I found myself gazing for a long while.

Then I suddenly realized. The peaceful everyday life with you that I once longed for so desperately is right here, right now.

Once, it had felt so far out of reach, yet it seems that if one wishes and wishes again, any wish will one day surely come true. No matter what words I borrow, I cannot fully express the depth of this emotion.

Lisanne.

I have never written a love letter before. What I have always written are operation reports and orders, so I don’t know how this clumsy letter will look in your eyes, you who always write such kind and gentle letters. I only hope you will forgive my shortcomings with your generous heart.

Even so, the reason I find myself writing such an awkward letter is because, during the time we were apart, I was unable to send you any word in writing…

Ezekiel paused in the middle of his letter and looked down at the words he had written. He clenched and unclenched his hand a few times. Though now he could move without issue, remembering how long it had taken to reach the point where he could write such neat letters made this moment feel like a dream.

When Ezekiel, unconscious, had been carried to Claris and finally awoke, his right arm from shoulder to fingertip had been wrapped in splints and bandages. It was not only that the bullets and blades had deeply damaged his muscles, but that his bones had shattered in places from desperately gripping his weapon to fight back. At the time, the crisis was so dire and urgent that he hadn’t even realized the condition of his arm. There had been too many greater injuries to worry about the lesser pains.

When he tried writing with his less-injured left hand, the result was illegible scribbles even he couldn’t recognize. To have another person write on his behalf would have been to reveal to Lisanne just how dire his condition was, so Ezekiel had given up on replying at all.

It had been a painful period. Yet if there had been one solace, it was that his father, watching his son stubbornly begin rehabilitation with the sheer determination of bringing Lisanne back, no longer voiced opposition to their marriage.

“If that girl holds such sway over your life and death, then rather than lose my only remaining son, I’d sooner bring her here. Do as you wish.”

Of course, whether then or now, it was a personal matter Lisanne had no need to know.

Ezekiel quickly corrected the last line 

…to at least make some small atonement for my neglect until now.

Though I cannot be sure how many days it will take me to finish this one letter.

Lisanne.

“Mm… Ezekiel?”

Lisanne stirred in her sleep, sensing the empty space beside her, and drowsily opened her eyes. Ezekiel quickly lay back down beside her and shifted the objects on the table out of her sight.

Lisanne blinked her sleepy eyes. “You haven’t slept?”

“I couldn’t.”

“Why? Is this house uncomfortable? Is the bed too small after all…?”

“No, the bed being small, I like it very much.”

When Ezekiel had come down to the western estate and opened the door to Lisanne’s room, the first thing he noticed was the small single bed. Unexpectedly, instead of the large double bed Madam Serva had arranged, Lisanne had been using a single bed. She had said that lying alone in a wide bed only made her think of the one who was not there and left her feeling lonely, so she had put the large bed away and brought in a smaller one that did not feel empty even when she slept alone.

“What to do? If I had known you would come here, I would have changed it long ago.”

Lisanne, embarrassed, suggested rearranging the furniture and using separate bedrooms for just a few days, but Ezekiel did not listen in the slightest.

Even if he had to sleep on the floor with just a blanket, he had no intention of ever spending even a moment in a different bedroom from Lisanne. And Lisanne was not the kind of woman who would let Ezekiel sleep poorly on the floor.

The two slept tangled together in the narrow bed. For Ezekiel to fit, he had to squeeze his large body awkwardly into the small space, but within a single day, he realized the advantage of such a bed. To avoid falling off, he had to stay pressed close to Lisanne without leaving any space. So he firmly opposed her decision to rearrange the furniture.

Ezekiel brushed his finger over Lisanne’s slightly pouting lower lip, then kissed her softly.

“Time feels too precious.”

“Ah…”

“The time not spent looking at you feels wasted.”

The period they had been forced apart had been painfully long. To make up for those wasted years, no matter how many times he looked at her, it was never enough.

“Still, you should sleep. You must be tired. We can… we can see each other again tomorrow.”

Lisanne fumbled to cover his eyes with her hand. But instead of closing them, Ezekiel intertwined his long fingers with her slender ones.

“Tomorrow’s you will be seen by tomorrow’s me. But today’s you can only be seen by today’s me.”

In those days when he had gone blind and grown vicious, Ezekiel had felt an unfulfilled craving for the “Rose” who filled his emptiness. Lying in the same bed, he would caress her face and imagine, and imagine again, her features.

“I’m not going anywhere. And my sleeping face isn’t anything special…”

“It is special.”

“……”

“You look peaceful. Lisanne, seeing you asleep beside me, looking so peaceful, nothing could be more extraordinary.”

Wasn’t this a miracle?

Ezekiel thought it over again and again.

A miracle, yes, this was a miracle.

There was no other way to explain the overwhelming gratitude he felt.

After he had barely rescued Lisanne from being executed on the gallows, he had watched over her countless nights, but never once had she slept peacefully. She had forced herself to sleep with the aid of laudanum, only to wake with empty eyes. It had been a dark time, body and heart both ill at ease.

She had even begged him to let her go. Those days of being tied to him against her will had been so painful that he had been forced, out of respect for her dignity, to send her back to school in the end. That painful farewell still burned vividly in his mind.

Yet now Lisanne was the one to fall asleep in his arms first. Nestling her nose and cheek against his chest, breathing evenly, lips curved in a gentle smile.

“But if you don’t sleep, how will we meet in our dreams too?”

“You will meet me in your dreams?”

“Of course.”

Lisanne gently stroked down his eyelids. Her soft touch made him tingle.

It was a sensation he had longed for. Ezekiel closed his eyes like a lamb.

“Yes. I must see today’s you, and dream’s you, and tomorrow’s you too.”

He pulled Lisanne tightly into his arms.

***

Lisanne.

After our frantic parting, I quickly arranged to spirit you away to this mansion, so you likely have not heard the news of Milena Girls’ School.

I express my deepest sorrow for the tragedy that occurred there. All those students who died must have been people connected to you, so your heart must have been heavy with grief.

I hear the deceased students were buried by the school and then delivered to their families. The surviving students and teachers returned to their hometowns, and Madam Milena, the headmistress, has decided to close the school.

But in my view, since that place holds memories and meaning for you, what if we were to purchase it and run it ourselves? What are your thoughts?

Of course, the name would have to change. To Lisanne Girls’ School.

There is the issue of its proximity to Davis, but if we station troops at the border and reinforce evacuation routes and shelters within the campus, I believe such a dreadful tragedy will never occur again.

Managing a school far away in Derosa while we are in Claris may not be easy, but with an appointed representative and regular reports, it can be done.

You say you are unworthy of being called a teacher. But in my eyes, you are already a fine teacher. It is plain to see, even with just a little observation. The children all like you and even wander near the mansion just hoping to meet you.

“Ezekiel. What are you doing?”

Even while secretly writing a letter, perhaps precisely because he was secretly writing one, his senses had been turned outward. The moment he read the sound of light footsteps drawing near, he swiftly gathered up the letter and slipped it under the pillow, hiding the pen and ink. By the time Lisanne entered, every trace of it had vanished from the table.