Time of the Blind Beast - Chapter 48

“How are your eyes?”

After Dr. Brehman had left, Rose looked down at Ezekiel, who was lying back on the long couch.

“Well, how do they seem to you?”

His response suddenly brought back a memory of a dream. Rose froze for a moment, pausing while changing the wet towel at Ezekiel’s bedside.

“There you are. Do you know how long I’ve been looking for you?”

His vision had not yet returned. It was never something that could be restored after just one or two treatments. She knew that well, and yet her guilty conscience made her feel small.

Collecting herself, Rose gently caressed the area around his eyes. Even though she continued cooling it with a cold towel, there was still heat. He must have been in considerable pain, yet the man bore it silently without showing any sign to her. It had been the same before. With no suitable medication, he had tossed and turned all night in pain. She, too, had stayed up through the night, unable to sleep with a mind just as restless.

“It must hurt. Why don’t you say so?”

“I’m debating which is better.”

“What do you mean?”

“If I complain, you’ll worry about me because you’re kind. But then I’ll look like a pitiful, weak man to you. On the other hand, if I pretend I’m fine, I might come off strong, but you might care just a little less.”

Ezekiel tilted his head slightly.

“Rose, you choose. Which is better?”

“I…”

“Go on, say it. You?”

“I always care about you, Major. That never changes. So please, just be honest with me when you need something.”

Sometimes Ezekiel found Rose truly fascinating. As if she could read his mind, she always gave the answer he longed to hear. Her very presence was a comfort—a gift.

He answered at once, “I always need you.”

Whether in pain or not, he needed Rose.

When Rose was there, even the air felt different. The suffocating darkness became tolerable. Breathing became easier. Life felt bearable.

Ezekiel seized the opportunity and wrapped his hand over hers. Her fingers, resting on his face, were suddenly pinned beneath his hand, covering half his face and revealing only his sharp nose and beautifully shaped lips.

“I like the way you touch my face like this.”

“Why?”

“Because your touch tells me you’re a kind person. It feels like encouragement, telling me not to hurt. I waited, but you haven’t touched me like this in a while.”

Ezekiel pressed her hand gently down. With the added weight of his, her soft palm ran slowly across the hard lines of his face. Yet the familiar ticklish sensation didn’t fade.

Her fingers traced down his cheek and brushed his lips. He gently took her delicate finger joints and placed a kiss upon their tender skin.

“When I’m with you like this, I forget all my worries.”

…Lies.

Liar.

Rose hid her bitter smile.

He never forgot that woman, no matter the time or place. And yet he said things so sweet they could make one forget everything.

Perhaps the truly kind one wasn’t her, burdened with unspeakable secrets, but this man.

His kisses traced from her fingers to the center of her wrist, planting sensual touches that tugged her closer. As if wanting no distance at all between them, as if such closeness were the most natural thing.

How much longer would she be able to enjoy these hands, this feeling, this warmth like this?

She constantly urged herself to remember the past and stay humble, but this fragile love, like a flickering candle, made her long for every passing second and tempted her to forget reality.

Rose wrapped her free arm around Ezekiel’s neck. Feeling her breath so close to his ear, he tapped his cheek. Rose placed her lips where his fingers had indicated.

“What’s gotten into you, Rose? It’s rare for you to be so forward.”

“I just want you to forget all the hard things.”

She felt the smile lift his lips, the movement transmitted through the skin.

He probably had no idea.

What exactly she wished he would forget, or the emotion behind her answer.

Rose closed her eyes and wished.

That this moment would not end.

The thought of how he might change once he learned her identity terrified her. So all she could do was hope.

That today would linger a little longer.

And that tomorrow would come just a bit… more slowly.

***

Captain Montcalm had sent a letter from Claris. Even while he paused the search for “that woman” on Ezekiel’s orders and assembled the company for preliminary training in preparation for emergencies, the loyal aide wasted no time in forwarding news about the Valdemaira family.

“It seems they are monitoring your movements quite closely, Major, likely due to the exceptional circumstances of having placed a bounty on an enemy officer. And… have you contacted the main house?”

In truth, it was Rose who had made contact. Without Ezekiel’s permission, she had acted under his name as his representative. Through Merlot, the errand runner secretly sent from the main house, she reported that the physician and Ezekiel were progressing smoothly with treatment. She also conveyed the special bond between the 37th Regiment and Ezekiel, as well as his intent to return to duty once his vision was restored.

“The Valdemaira family claims that the officer of the 37th Regiment remains committed to serving loyally and is ready to answer the nation’s call at any time, but how much we can trust that declaration is uncertain. On one hand, it may be a tactic to buy time, as it would seem too transparent to immediately renounce the commission.”

Already aware of the main house’s reaction through Merlot, Rose wasn’t particularly surprised by the letter.

According to the errand runner, who had stayed several days at the main estate before returning, Akenaus was on edge, worried that the official declaration might lead to Ezekiel being forcibly recalled to military service. He had reportedly barged into his father’s study and demanded to know the real meaning behind the statement, arguing they needed to withdraw before another war broke out.

“He probably worried that backing out of the commission right after making a fuss in Claris with an attempted poisoning within the family, despite reaping benefits for the family business using my military service, would make the Valdemaira name look foolish.” Ezekiel sneered.

Rose quietly suppressed her surprise. She had heard that his father had tried to calm the agitated Akenaus using the excuse of preserving the family’s reputation. As expected, blood was blood. Their thoughts ran in similar veins.

“If I can’t return, whether they push him in as my replacement or not, that’s none of my business. Either way, I don’t lose anything. Even if the sky falls, there’s always a hole to crawl through. Seems luck hasn’t entirely forsaken me yet.”

Relieved by Ezekiel’s acceptance of the family’s decision, Rose allowed herself a faint sense of ease.

Thank goodness. It wasn’t a mistake. Her letters and pleas hadn’t been meddling in vain. At the very least, having one more place to return to would surely give him strength.

It was the right decision. A good thing.

So she told herself, deliberately ignoring the uneasy fluttering in one corner of her heart.

…But when he returns to his rightful place someday, where will I go?

***

As full summer arrived, the days grew longer. Rose asked Merlot to pick apricots from the trees and stewed them with sugar.

“It’s apricot compote. It isn’t too sweet, so you should be able to enjoy it.”

Made with little sugar and keeping the fruit’s shape intact, compote didn’t preserve well and couldn’t be stored long. It was a dessert that would vanish once summer ended, just like herself.

“The apricot tree bore fruit?”

“Yes. I was worried because the soil is poor, but it still managed to bear some.”

Due to the poor climate and environment, the apricots grew sparsely. Merlot offered to bring better, tastier fruit, but Rose deliberately used those from the garden to make the compote.

“Winter will be here before we know it.”

“Were you looking forward to winter?”

“There’s a lot we can do together. And… it’s the season I met you.”

Rose picked up on the omitted preface.

‘If my sight returns,’ there’s much we can do together.

Even on the night they strolled through the garden, Ezekiel had mentioned that his vision should return by winter. It wasn’t just wishful thinking; it meant that a conclusion had to be reached by then, at the latest.

The positions he had left behind in the family and military would not wait indefinitely.

This summer, too, was a grace period that would not come again.