Time of the Blind Beast - Chapter 21

If ten repetitions weren’t enough, then twenty. If twenty weren’t enough, then thirty. He repeated it so many times that if he were a painter, he would’ve been able to recreate the face with his eyes closed. But of course, he wasn’t a painter, so he could only imprint the woman’s face in his mind. By now, it had become an obsession he would never forget, even on his deathbed.

In a way, it was amusing. Most people wouldn’t dwell on the face of someone they loved so much.

Rich brown hair, hazel eyes faintly tinged with olive, an expression laced with confusion, slightly parted lips…

The rhythm of his pulse ticked steadily, like the pendulum of a hypnosis watch leading him into a semi-conscious state.

He blinked.

The woman’s face, usually so vivid and clear, was now blurred like fog. It felt different from usual. Of course, he knew exactly what that hazy part looked like. Yet, an unknown anxiety began to fuel his compulsion.

He had to get a closer look.

His clothes, soaked with cold sweat, no longer mattered. Ezekiel crawled across the bed, writhing in the darkness, bumping into things and collapsing here and there until he finally managed to find the glass bottle and place the opening in his mouth. He didn’t have the strength to drink properly, so he just let himself fall with the bottle in his mouth, causing a few sips of liquid to trickle onto his tongue.

“…Damn it.”

As the taste hit him, his senses abruptly returned.

He couldn’t accept that he had lost his mind for even a moment like that. He couldn’t even remember the process of putting the bottle to his lips and drinking. He would’ve believed it if someone had said a devil had possessed his body for a brief moment.

He wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. That fleeting moment of clarity only stoked his anger further.

He swept his arm across the table, sending the glass bottles flying.

His whole body’s senses flared up in rage. His throat burned with thirst. His body temperature had dropped even more. The chill wouldn’t go away. His intestines throbbed as if they were being torn apart.

He began to doubt whether he was truly in his right mind anymore.

Had he gone mad?

This wasn’t just pain. Pain usually had a reason. But this body—his body—felt agony without any cause…

It was broken.

Yes, broken was the better word. Something was seriously broken inside him. There was no other explanation.

He was feeling cold when there was no cold.

Feeling pain without a cause.

His consciousness drifted in and out at random, wandering into semi-conscious states without warning. Nothing seemed to be functioning properly.

“Don’t worry. There’s nothing left in this room. I’ve secretly gotten rid of it all. What you drank was sleeping tea.”

In his hazy consciousness, Rose’s voice slipped through, but it brought little comfort. Just hearing that he hadn’t drunk laudanum wasn’t enough reassurance when the symptoms his body was experiencing felt far worse than usual. He felt so cold, as if the very blood in his veins had frozen. It was like a winter storm inside him. His heart throbbed with icy pain.

If only he had just a bit of warmth, he would gladly embrace it.

“I’m not doing this with any strange intentions. It’s because of the hypothermia. You know this too, Major… since you’re a soldier.”

There must be a god in this world, after all.

“It’ll be over soon. Just hold on a little longer.”

For the first time, she felt warm to him.

It was the warmth he had longed for. It was as if a god’s hand was touching him. The desperate feeling that he couldn’t miss this opportunity urged him forward.

Without hesitation, Ezekiel threw himself at the warmth, pulling it under him and holding it tightly against his body. No hot spring could compare to this warmth.

Their bodies pressed together, bringing more warmth. He buried his face into her neck and inhaled her warmth deeply.

The woman in his arms wriggled briefly, but it was barely a ticklish resistance. Soon, she gave in, growing still.

He felt alive.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, he felt truly warm.

He wouldn’t mind if this warmth burned him up into ashes.

***

“Ugh…”

A massive weight was crushing her, making it hard to breathe. The man’s body, heavy on top of hers, was far too much for her to bear. Fortunately, his condition was so disordered that he wasn’t using his full strength; otherwise, he would have surely broken her ribs. Rose barely swallowed her scream.

“…Major?”

She tried calling out to him, just in case, but all she received in response was a low groan.

Even so, he continued pressing his body against hers, rubbing against her. The friction between their skin gradually generated heat. Though he wasn’t fully conscious, too absorbed in his pain to respond, his body seemed to know what it needed most at that moment.

Rose painstakingly freed her trapped arm and wrapped it around his back, gently patting him. She ran her hand along his spine, adding what little warmth she could offer.

“It’s alright.”

She whispered softly.

“It’s alright. You can do this.”

It doesn’t matter what you do to me.

If even this small bit of warmth helps, it’s okay if I feel some pain.

Though she knew he couldn’t hear her, she wanted to comfort him in some way.

Instead of trying to push the man clinging to her away, Rose pulled him closer with all her strength. He buried his face in her shoulder, his breath coming in rapid gasps.

As she rubbed Ezekiel’s trembling body to raise his body temperature, Rose also removed his remaining clothes. The wet fabric clinging to his legs finally fell away, making things a little easier. When she reached for his undergarments, she hesitated for a moment.

Back when she was a child, running naked in the water with other boys and girls had never been a source of embarrassment. But now they were adults. She told herself it was wrong to hesitate when someone was suffering, but it still took considerable resolve to push down on the weight pressing against her thighs.

She wondered if she was mistaken, but the long, firm pressure between his thigh and calf left no room for doubt. It felt unreal.

Doing her best to remain indifferent, Rose tightly shut her eyes and pulled down his undergarments.

To make matters worse, as they continued moving, her skirt became bunched up. She tried to grab the fabric and pull it down, but it was useless. The more she wriggled, the more their bodies pressed together, and a strange, unfamiliar sensation grazed the inside of her thigh, soft on the surface but firm underneath.

Rose froze completely, stopping all movement.

What do I do? Should I move it with my hand? …Can I?

Unaware of what was happening below his waist, the man simply wound himself more tightly around her like a vine. With their bodies so tightly pressed together, it was impossible to pull her legs away.

Not wanting to provoke him, Rose breathed as calmly as she could.

Then, suddenly—

“Rose? Rose, are you in there? I heard something break just now.”

She flinched again.

It was Madam Serva. Likely awakened by the commotion, despite her bad knee, she had come to check on the source of the noise, just like Rose.

Rose responded quickly, “Yes, yes, I’m here.”

“What in the world is going on in there? Why is the door locked?”

“Uh…”

“Rose, are you listening? Open the door.”

“No! Stay there. It’s… it’s dangerous.”

She glanced down at her and Ezekiel’s position. Clothes scattered all over the floor, her body trapped beneath a naked man, the rhythmic motion of their bodies as they rubbed together to raise his body temperature, the sound of his labored breathing echoing in the room… To anyone’s eyes, this scene could only be described as that of a couple in the midst of an intimate encounter.

Although Madam Serva was in charge of the estate’s affairs and knew everything that happened under its roof, this was one secret Rose couldn’t allow her to discover. Now, even Rose was beginning to break into a cold sweat. She hurriedly came up with a hasty excuse.

“The floor… it’s all wet, so it’s slippery. You might fall, so please don’t come in.”

She tried to sound as composed as possible, but the sensation of Ezekiel’s body pressing against hers distracted her. His weight pressed down on her chest, sending waves of strange sensations through her. Her heart raced.

“What are you talking about? What’s going on?”

“It’s nothing serious. I think he threw a bottle in his sleep… but he’s fallen back asleep now. You know how he struggles with insomnia, so I’ll clean up once he’s fully asleep. It’s nothing. Don’t worry.”

Her voice trembled as she fumbled through her explanation, trying to make it sound like she was lowering her voice to avoid waking him, rather than because of the intimate contact.

Rose deliberately mentioned Ezekiel’s longstanding insomnia. Madam Serva knew how rare and precious it was for him to get any sleep at all. Rose calculated that the older woman wouldn’t insist on entering if it meant waking him.

Did it work?

Rose listened carefully for any response from Madam Serva. It wasn’t easy to concentrate with Ezekiel’s heavy body pressing down on her.

“…Oh, I see. Alright then. Thank you for your hard work, Rose. Take care of it.”

After a brief silence, Madam Serva finally responded.

Did it work?

Rose let out a quiet sigh of relief. Even so, she didn’t completely relax until the sound of Madam Serva’s cane tapping the floor faded into the distance.

Ezekiel seemed completely unaware that Madam Serva had been at the door. Or perhaps he was too focused on seeking out Rose’s warmth to care who had come.

The wine and drugs had completely dulled the sharp instincts that had once defined him.

“Medicine and poison are separated by a fine line.”

A little could heal; too much could kill. When he had been drinking, it was medicine. Now that he wasn’t drinking, it had become a sickness. That’s addiction.

Rose closed her eyes and let her body surrender to his movements.

The sweat of both their bodies had soaked into her chemise. The damp clothes clung to her skin, making her shiver. If she was feeling this cold, it was all the more dangerous for a man suffering from hypothermia. She couldn’t let the precious warmth they had built up slip away.

Rose bit her lip. At least this was the second time it had happened, so it wasn’t completely unfamiliar.

Her decision came quickly. In one swift motion, she pulled off her own clothes.