Time of the Blind Beast - Chapter 19

It was as if an invisible wave had swept over him. The veins on his hands, which gripped the sheet tightly, bulged as the pain began. He couldn’t even manage a groan.

Rose looked around at Ezekiel again. The spilled liquid and the scattered glass shards across the floor gave clues to what had happened in the room. He had likely reached for the bottle of laudanum out of habit, only to regain his senses at the last moment and throw it away, shattering it.

Even if he lost control, he wouldn’t allow himself to ingest anything.

If he were to drink anything, it would be with the determination to lick the glass shards instead.

At some point, he had resolved to go that far.

How desperate must he have been to ask to be tied to the bed?

“As you can imagine, it’s not easy for someone addicted to drugs to quit. It’s not just a matter of ‘habit’… it’s more like an intense craving. It’s like placing food in front of someone who hasn’t eaten in a week and telling them not to eat. Or showing an oasis to a person crossing the desert and telling them they can’t drink the water. It’s a temptation greater than any devil’s.”

Dr. Brehman’s metaphor had an unsettling edge to it.

In preparation for this moment, Rose had quietly entered Ezekiel’s bedroom without telling anyone and removed all the wine and drug bottles. She had feared that if she asked for his permission, she might hurt his pride, as a man confident in his self-discipline as a soldier.

She had even filled the glass bottles with sleeping tea. If he didn’t touch them, that would be ideal, but even if he drank it unknowingly, at least it wasn’t opium, so she could be relieved. Although sleeping tea hadn’t been particularly effective so far, who knew? This time might be different.

“Don’t worry. There’s nothing left in this room. I’ve secretly gotten rid of it all. What you drank was sleeping tea. You could tell the taste was different, couldn’t you?”

She had to remain calm. She had to be firm. She couldn’t let herself falter, not if they were to endure this together. Dr. Brehman had warned her of this.

“His nerves will become extremely sensitive. He’ll gradually lose the ability to control himself. No matter how strong his self-discipline, most people can’t withstand it.”

As Dr. Brehman had predicted, it was only just beginning.

“He’ll break into a cold sweat, literally as if it were raining.”

Already, the air in the room felt more humid.

It seemed like his body was being wrung dry of all its fluids. His shirt was soaked through, clinging to his broad shoulders and back, revealing the contours of his muscles. Rose had never seen someone sweat so much before today.

“He won’t be able to sleep.”

Of all the symptoms Dr. Brehman had predicted, this was the most familiar one. Ezekiel had always struggled with insomnia.

“His body will feel like it’s breaking apart.”

But now, there was no medicine to relieve the insomnia or the pain. He would have to endure the sleeplessness and the sharp pain shooting through his stomach and muscles while his nerves were frayed.

“One moment he’ll be shivering so hard his teeth are chattering, and the next, he’ll be burning up with a fever.”

“…What could possibly be causing that?”

“Well, I can’t say for sure. But I’ve seen a few cases where symptoms like that appear all at once when someone tries to stop taking medication in an attempt to break free from their hallucinations.”

It was shortly after Rose had confided in Dr. Brehman about Ezekiel’s hallucinations. The doctor took her concerns more seriously than she anticipated, making Rose feel even more anxious.

“But I’ve taken laudanum once or twice before when I was in pain, and nothing like this ever happened to me.”

“Taking it occasionally isn’t a problem. If a drug were harmful after just one or two uses, it would be poison, not medicine. Laudanum is an effective sedative, and I prescribe it in small, controlled doses to my patients. What I’m concerned about is when someone consumes large amounts regularly, like the Major. That’s when it becomes dangerous.”

“Then… should he keep taking the medicine? If stopping causes such terrible side effects?”

Was it better for him to continue taking the drugs, despite their dangers? Should she turn a blind eye and ignore the situation?

But Dr. Brehman shook his head. “If he continues to take laudanum at the rate he has been, there’s a high chance he’ll lose his cognitive abilities or die within a few years.”

The prediction was far more extreme than Rose had expected. She was taken aback and asked again, shocked.

“…What?”

“He’s young and healthy, so he’s managed to endure it for the past few months. Even if he’s shown some odd behavior or changes in personality, people likely excused it, considering the trauma he’s been through. It’s common to say that people change after significant hardships.”

Madam Serva had mentioned several times how Ezekiel’s personality had changed. Rose pressed further.

“So… you think the changes in his personality might be due to the laudanum?”

“It’s unlikely that laudanum alone is the issue; it’s probably a combination of several factors at play. But that’s not the pressing concern right now. The real problem is that the Major has been consuming an absurd amount of opiate-based medication. And if it’s military-grade laudanum, many of those formulas are enhanced with coca to maximize effectiveness. I’ve rarely seen anyone survive for years on a daily regimen of such potent substances and still remain functional.”

“……”

“Right now, detoxifying his body from the drugs may be more important than treating his eyes. If he’s already experiencing delirium, that’s a sign of severe addiction.”

The mention of losing cognitive abilities, severe addiction, and death left Rose horrified.

“How can something so destructive still be considered medicine?”

Laudanum was widely used, but for Ezekiel, it had become a deadly sentence. Something had gone terribly wrong. It would be stranger not to question the drug at this point.

Dr. Brehman turned her question back on her. “What do you think medicine is?”

“Well… isn’t it something that heals people?” Rose answered according to what most people believed.

Dr. Brehman’s expression grew more ambiguous. “Well, if used in small amounts, mercury treats syphilis, and arsenic cures anthrax. But historically, mercury and arsenic have also killed many powerful people as deadly poisons.”

“……”

“In the end, it’s all about how it’s used. In the right dosage, it’s medicine. If prescribed in excess, it’s no different from poison. The fact that he’s taking larger amounts now means he’s built up a tolerance, and needing the drug daily indicates addiction. The Major probably has a natural resistance to alcohol and drugs, which is why he’s had to take much more than others to feel the effects, leading to addiction in a short period.”

Dr. Brehman added, looking at Rose, “In my view as a doctor, medicine and poison are separated by a fine line.”

In the end, Ezekiel was consuming poison in order to escape from another poison.

Rose’s mind raced. Reflecting on Dr. Brehman’s words, she steeled herself for what was to come. She locked the bedroom door, ensuring no one could enter. The room Rose was staying in was connected to Ezekiel’s, and there was no way to leave except through his room.

She had made up her mind to stay in the same room with him.

“If he couldn’t bear the pain any longer and began to harm himself or lash out at others, there’s no one here who could handle that.”

Madam Serva had expressed concern about the repercussions of going without laudanum.

There’s no one who can handle that… she had said.

With a firm resolve, Rose pressed her lips together.

I can do it. I will do it. Isn’t that why I’m here?

Barely two or three hours had passed before Ezekiel erupted into a fit of rage, throwing the bottles and teacups filled with sleeping tea, heralding a long and tumultuous night ahead.

“Damn it…”

Even in his short curses, his breathing was uneven. A clear sign that his condition was rapidly worsening.

Rose quickly placed her hand on his forehead, only to recoil in shock.

Ezekiel had never been one to feel cold. His body temperature was always so high that her hands would burn whenever she tended to him. But now, his skin was as cold as ice. The sweat soaking his clothes only made him lose body heat even faster. Though it was too dark to see clearly, she was certain his lips had turned a deep blue. His body continued to convulse in repeated spasms.

It was a classic case of hypothermia.