Time of the Blind Beast - Chapter 18

Ezekiel’s expectations from Dr. Brehman’s experiment were quite clear. He had a gambler’s mentality, one that was all-or-nothing. On the other hand, Rose couldn’t predict the kind of extreme results that Ezekiel was hoping for.

Their expectations for the future were different, and no one could truly know what outcome awaited them.

Rose briefly steadied her wavering heart.

How fickle the human mind can be. She had longed for atonement, yet now she found herself calculating all the possibilities for a future that hadn’t even occurred yet.

Even though there was no need for such haste.

Don’t rush.

Rose whispered to herself.

Don’t think about too many things, don’t look too far ahead.

That’s not why you came here.

This man is in pain. He’s someone who needs help. Someone who finds it hard enough just to survive each day.

So, focus on what you need to do right now.

“…I understand your decision, Major.”

When Ezekiel firmly stated that he wouldn’t hold him responsible, Dr. Brehman couldn’t refuse any longer.

“Will you begin the experiment right away?”

“No. First, we need to assess your lifestyle and current health condition. The biggest issue with long-term treatments is the patient’s physical strength. I’ve often seen cases where patients can’t endure the process and end up giving up. Of course, given your robust physical condition, I doubt we’ll need to worry about that.”

Dr. Brehman quickly assessed Ezekiel while listing the usual precautions. Though the soldier who had once ridden through every corner of Astrie was now confined within the mansion, his muscles had thinned and his face showed signs of sickness, but his naturally strong frame remained intact. Above all, the man possessed the mental fortitude to endure the long years of war. Even if the experiment failed, his stamina and willpower wouldn’t be the first to give out.

“There’s no reason to delay. I’m ready,” Ezekiel expressed his confidence.

“Wait a moment, Doctor.”

But just as the conversation was about to proceed, a quiet voice interjected.

“You just mentioned that lifestyle habits are important.”

It was Rose.

“Shouldn’t he quit drinking and taking the drugs?” She looked directly at Dr. Brehman, seeking his agreement.

The doctor turned to Rose, somewhat puzzled, and asked, “Does he regularly consume those things?”

Dr. Brehman gave exactly the answer Rose had anticipated, and she quickly nodded. “He drinks wine and takes laudanum every day.”

She wasn’t going to miss this opportunity. Dr. Brehman was the most knowledgeable person concerning Ezekiel’s health, and if he recommended stopping both the wine and the drugs, neither Ezekiel nor Madam Serva would be able to object.

The memory still gave her chills. That day, when Ezekiel had sat there, staring into nothingness with unfocused eyes, wandering through a world of ghosts, Rose had been struck with helpless terror, unable to tell if his symptoms were caused by possession or madness.

She had been scared. She didn’t want to see Ezekiel gradually deteriorate any further.

“What’s wrong with taking painkillers? They’re not poison. Wine and laudanum are common prescriptions from doctors. If they were harmful, they wouldn’t have been prescribed in the first place, right, Doctor?” Ezekiel frowned at the sudden interference.

Indeed, laudanum, a famous painkiller, was widely used, and wine, in certain situations, was considered an emergency remedy. It wasn’t uncommon for families to keep a bottle or two of brandy in their cupboards, ready to calm someone in shock with a drink or two.

In the military, alcohol was a necessary supply. Soldiers who had to endure the cold without proper clothing used it to stay warm, and it was also used as a disinfectant. Ezekiel had often poured alcohol over his wounds, hastily bandaging them before continuing to fight.

“You used to refuse painkillers and alcohol even when you were injured, didn’t you?” Rose countered again.

“That was because I didn’t have the luxury to lie around, intoxicated. You can’t predict when or where a battle will break out, so it would’ve been irresponsible for a commander to just sit around, doing nothing.”

“But you’ve said this experiment is like a battle.”

Of course, Rose knew it was merely a metaphor. She also understood why Ezekiel had turned to alcohol and opium.

Even if it was only an illusion, how could he resist the temptation to escape the overwhelming darkness and experience a world where he could see again? What others found terrifying must have felt like a miraculous moment to him.

After carefully observing him many times, Rose had come to understand Ezekiel’s feelings. But understanding didn’t mean agreeing. To outsiders, his actions might seem no different from those of someone losing their mind. And looking at his increasingly haggard face each day, it was clear that his habits weren’t healthy.

He had to know that his body was deteriorating. After all, this was a man who had once been famous for his strict self-discipline. But he had likely weighed the costs and decided that the benefits outweighed what he was losing, which is why he had become addicted.

That’s why Rose realized she couldn’t take away his illusions without solid reasoning.

Her target wasn’t Ezekiel, but Dr. Brehman.

“There’s nothing wrong with having a drink now and then, but every day is excessive. It would be best if you stopped. Mixing my prescriptions with your existing medications might reduce their effectiveness or, worse, cause negative side effects.”

Dr. Brehman’s conclusion was clear. Rose quietly let out a sigh of relief.

“Alright, I’ll quit.”

Just as she expected, Ezekiel didn’t hesitate once the doctor mentioned that the drugs might interfere with the treatment’s effectiveness. He agreed without any argument, making the decision so quickly that it was almost surprising.

However, Rose couldn’t let her guard down just yet. After following Dr. Brehman out to bid him farewell, she glanced back at the drawing room. Normally, once a doctor’s examination ended, Ezekiel would retreat to his bedroom, disappearing into his own world. But today, with wine and drugs forbidden, he hadn’t left the drawing room.

Still wary of being overheard, Rose lowered her voice as she stopped Dr. Brehman.

“Doctor, could I speak with you for a moment?”

***

In the middle of the night, the sudden sound of glass shattering woke Rose from her sleep. Startled awake by the sharp noise ringing in her ears, she quickly gathered her senses.

Without even taking the time to straighten her clothes, she rushed into Ezekiel’s bedroom.

“Major? What’s wrong?”

She nearly screamed when she saw the scene in the room. The bedroom was a mess, the floor and walls soaked in spilled tea and littered with broken glass. The faint light filtering through from the adjacent room illuminated the chaotic scene.

The dark color of the spilled tea made the room look like a blood-soaked crime scene. If it weren’t for the overwhelming herbal scent filling the air, someone of weaker nerves might have fainted on the spot.

Rose carefully made her way through the broken glass, taking care not to step on any shards, and approached Ezekiel.

The silhouette of the man sitting on the bed was massive, like that of a wild beast. Even in the dim light, she could sense the tension in his taut muscles.

The atmosphere was unnerving. She froze for a moment, remembering the first time she had entered his bedroom. There was something about the man’s current state that was eerily similar to that day.

The confusion caused by the pain, the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he gasped for breath, the palpable tension in the air.

She stood there, rooted to the spot.

“Ro…se.”

Somehow, Ezekiel managed to detect her presence. His voice, cracked and hoarse, called out to her.

“…Yes, I’m here.”

“Bring me the rope.”

“Pardon?”

“Bring me the rope, Rose!”

His voice was rough, each word laced with labored breaths.

Was this what it would feel like to encounter a rabid wild wolf in the mountains?

There was something terrifying about it. The way his presence seemed to press down on her, suffocating her—there was no doubt he wasn’t in his right mind. Rose clenched her hands to stop them from trembling. She needed to check his condition first.

“Major, are you alright?”

“Tie me up, now!”

“Calm… calm down.”

“I can’t control it… Damn it!”

Suddenly, he let out a curse that echoed ominously through the room. The force of his shout sent a chill down her spine, and her heart pounded uncontrollably.