Time of the Blind Beast - Chapter 128

Chapter 16: Epilogue – To My Beloved Ezekiel

My beloved Ezekiel,

Spring in the West is so gentle.

Come to think of it, I think this is the first time I’ve ever written you such a long letter. It feels so strange to set out stationery just for this. I’ve ghostwritten your mail so often, yet when it comes to writing between the two of us, this is the first time.

When I tried to write about how I’ve been here, I found myself stuck on how to begin.

At first, I wrote, “To the Major,” but Anna happened to find it while cleaning the bedroom and said it didn’t feel right at all, so now I’m rewriting it on new paper.

Ah, Anna is learning letters from me these days. On the first day she learned spelling, she wrote all our names with jam on the bread we had for breakfast. The short names of others were fine, but since Lisanne is so long, she spread so much jam that I alone had to eat such an overwhelmingly sweet sandwich I felt dizzy.

Your name is fairly long too. If you want a sandwich with the proper ratio of bread to jam, maybe you should shorten your name a little.

Even without this letter, I imagine news from here is reaching Claris regularly, but as you’ve heard, life here is smooth and full of joy.

The people are kind and the weather is always mild. Everywhere I look, there are flowers. Dogs and cats too. Since the sea is close by, seafood is abundant, and perhaps because of that, I see at least four or five cats every day running off with fish in their mouths. Even in our kitchen, we now have a regular thief who sneaks in for dried fish. Anna swears she won’t forgive that mischievous little thief, but when the cat doesn’t show, she’s the first to go behind the wall and call for it.

Oh, and something a bit embarrassing, but I’ve been teaching children lately. It isn’t much. I was wondering what I could do, so I taught the neighbor’s children a little reading and numbers. Word spread, and more children started tagging along with their friends until I ended up setting up a room like a small school. Lately, I’ve been turning their fun dreams into little storybooks. I have each child draw pictures and attach their stories. If you fold the paper and stitch it, it makes a thin book, and when the children bring one home, their parents are so proud.

So these days, the neighbors call me Teacher. Not Miss Lisanne, not Young Lady, but Teacher. It was so awkward and embarrassing at first that it felt like foxtail grass was tickling my chest and made me cough endlessly. Now that I hear it often, I’ve gotten used to it.

Even as a teacher, I’m not skilled enough to properly educate anyone, so I only take a small fee. Still, many bring gifts like grape cakes as well as money.

So… I’ve been earning a bit of living expenses on my own. Please don’t feel hurt that I returned much of the allowance you sent through the courier. Besides, that wasn’t really allowance money in the first place. I was so shocked. At first, I thought you had sent a year’s worth all at once, but the man was even more shocked and asked me if I only got paid once a year. He said it was actually supposed to be paid weekly, but since Claris is so far away, for convenience, they send it once a month. And apparently, this budget was set long ago, with the day I entered the mansion as the start date.

Ezekiel, please, when you send things, consult me first. Your extravagant spending stirs my parents’ vanity. Of course, I know you’re in no state to consult me now.

Ah, the children are coming in. It must be time for class.

I’ll tell you the rest in my next letter.

From Lisanne, waiting for you.

Lisanne carefully signed her initials.

She had only later learned how much he loved her handwriting. Anna confessed that even papers with nothing but brief notes of “yes” or “no” exchanged with Paulina had been saved and passed along to Ezekiel.

“The Major doesn’t throw away a single scrap of paper you’ve written on, Miss.”

It seemed excessive, but even this letter would likely end up among his collection, so Lisanne checked the content and her handwriting several times over.

So far away, this was her only way to send him her heart and news. Lisanne planned to write letters whenever Ezekiel came to mind and send them through the courier when he arrived.

This letter would be the first.

Lisanne placed it gently into the basket.

***

My beloved Ezekiel,

Summer in the West is cheerful.

The sunlight is astonishingly hot. This is the first time I’ve experienced such a sweltering summer, and to think the South is even hotter, how do people live there? Anna, whose hometown is Derosa, suffers terribly from the heat, so she takes walks to the lake every day. Perhaps because it’s by the water, the breeze is a little cooler.

I go there sometimes too, and when I sit absentmindedly and watch the surroundings, townsfolk often come by and toss coins. Maybe they have wishes they want fulfilled or hope to ward off misfortune. In towns with ponds or lakes, everyone does that. Like stacking stones when passing through mountains. I even heard rumors that in ancient times, this whole area used to be a sea, which might be why the lake is so deep that the bottom can’t be seen. Anna says if anyone could reach the bottom, they’d become one of the richest in Astrie.

But I wonder, if you toss a coin and make a wish, does it really come true?

Sometimes it feels strange that, though no one ever formally taught it, people everywhere share this belief, or emotion, or whatever it may be. How did we come to do such things?

People speak so easily of eternity and make promises, yet in truth, human time is finite. Meanwhile, stones and water remain unchanged no matter how much time passes. Perhaps that boundlessness is what people want to borrow, even at a price. That thought suddenly came to me. A bit pointless, isn’t it?

Ezekiel, I heard that you’ve begun rehabilitation little by little. The messenger who told me looked so relieved, as if thinking, at last, he no longer had to lie. I couldn’t even scold him. All this time, while your consciousness wavered and you lay unable to move even a finger, you had been telling me you were recovering smoothly. No wonder the messenger always delivered news only by word of mouth. I did think it odd.

I know you hid it to keep me from worrying.

But being deceived hurts more. I want to hear all your news exactly as it is.

The messenger you sent is surprisingly quick-witted. I never imagined you would send back this red diamond ring. He must have noticed the fake gemstone ring on my finger and told you.

It wasn’t such a serious issue. Since I visited the bookstore every day to buy paper and ink for the children, the shopkeeper must have been watching me closely. He never acted rudely. He asked if I was single, and I replied that I was engaged. As for the ring, I couldn’t find anything suitable, so I borrowed my mother’s wedding ring for a while. I did feel a bit unsure about suddenly switching from a silver ring with a colored stone to such a splendid diamond, but along with the ring came piles of paper and ink, so I suppose I won’t need to visit the bookstore for a while.

In the end, I’m always the one receiving help. Even across such distance, I never feel lonely, because I can feel your heart always watching over me, always caring for me.

Thank you.

From Lisanne, who misses you.

Truly, she was grateful.

“…But isn’t it too much?”

Lisanne looked down at the ring on her finger. No matter how much she looked at it, the ring was too large and extravagant. Even people who normally had no interest in whether she was married or not would surely ask where such a ring had come from.

“It is too much, of course,” Anna answered calmly.

“It is too much, right?”

Lisanne turned the ring slightly to hide the gemstone in her palm. Even so, its unusual appearance still showed.

“No, not the ring. The letters.”

Anna adjusted the ring properly on her finger and continued, “People say, how does a young lady who usually doesn’t talk much have so much to say that she writes several letters a day? If we gathered all the letters you’ve sent so far, they would fill ten books.”

It was true. No sooner had she sealed one letter than more unsaid words would rise up, and she would pull out new stationery again. In truth, what she wanted was to go straight to the Valdemaira estate and nurse him by his side, but until the complicated matters were resolved, she had to wait in a safe place. The only way she could express herself now was through letters, and so she wrote and wrote again, never enough. As a result, the courier rushing back and forth between Lisanne and Ezekiel always carried a basket full of letters.

“You two can’t live without each other, so why go through all this suffering… Anyway, wear the ring at all times. Yes, at all times. You need to stamp your mark everywhere with that ring so flies won’t swarm around.”

Anna shook her head and muttered under her breath, “Even with defenses this strong, what kind of bastard would still dare…”

***

My beloved Ezekiel,

Autumn in the West is abundant.

Isn’t it astonishing how quickly the days pass? Can you believe two whole seasons have already changed? In the West, the seasons flow so clearly that time feels like it passes even faster. In places like Derosa or Cielsa, where winters are long, the change of time isn’t as vivid.

But I think each place has its own charm. Though the North is barren, the long winter landscape is deeply mysterious. And in the West, you can feel the leisure in the way people live and think. In autumn, the season of harvest, families carry baskets full of freshly picked fruit and crops to share with their neighbors. Because I felt so embarrassed just receiving, yesterday we baked bread with potatoes and gave it to the children.

Ah, and I heard a rumor worth celebrating.

They say you were specially promoted for your achievement in annihilating the spies. That means everything has finally been settled, hasn’t it? I asked the messenger if I might soon visit Claris to see you, but he said he needed to bring back your answer. When will that answer come, I wonder…