The Monster Lady and the Holy Knight - Chapter 42

“…No, no. Benjamin!”

Leon opened his eyes in the middle of the night. A faint scream echoed, and snow was falling thickly outside the window. Snow shadows drew geometric patterns across the bed. He could hear her gasping for breath, indicating she had woken up.

“Another nightmare?”

It had seemed like they had stopped for a while. Glancing to the side, he met her flickering red eyes. What set them apart from ordinary red eyes was their chilling allure in the darkness. She merely blinked without responding.

Leon asked casually, “Want me to hold you?”

“…Why would you, when you don’t even like me?”

“I don’t dislike you. I don’t like you either, though.”

Lying on her side, she fidgeted with her hands. Then, quietly, she spoke, “I dreamt of Bayern.”

It was the first time she had ever spoken about a nightmare. Leon turned his gaze to the ceiling, resting his arm on his forehead.

“It was probably about a person, not your hometown.”

“…How did you know?”

“You often cry out ‘Benjamin, Benjamin’ in your sleep. How could I not know?”

When he nonchalantly mentioned the name, her small breath hitched for a moment. After a while, she confessed, as if revealing a precious secret.

“Benjamin was a friend who saved me in Bayern. Before you arrived.”

“Saving a friend in that mess—how touching.”

“He got eaten. I pushed him.”

A common story instantly turned into something far more interesting. Glancing again, he saw that only her red eyes stood out against her face, backlit by the moonlight. Her curved eyes seemed to cry and smile in the darkness.

“He said that since he saved me, we should leave Bayern and live together. What was it…marriage, maybe? He shook me, saying he had helped me while my father had his head torn off, asking if I had no sense of gratitude.”

She frowned slightly as if recalling the memory.

“I pushed him because I felt dizzy, and Bahamut’s hand pierced the back of his head and took him away. I didn’t know he would die. If I had known, I wouldn’t have pushed him.”

“So that’s why you were so fierce with me.”

“That’s also why I couldn’t push you away entirely.”

When Leon demanded a price for her salvation, she must have disliked it because it reminded her of Benjamin. But she couldn’t continue to resist because of that same memory. She had once pushed someone away, and that person had died. Although she had somewhat freed herself from hesitation after killing a Ruegan in the wilderness, she had previously seemed strangely powerless and despondent.

“Benjamin was really nice. He used to take me to see the forge whenever he had time. He also secretly shared jars of delicious jam with me.”

“Well, I don’t think men do more than necessary for women just because they’re good-hearted.”

“Then why do they?”

“They want to sleep with them. There’s no other reason.”

“But you weren’t like that.”

Leon stared at her jewel-like eyes for a moment, then sat up and struck the flint. When he didn’t respond, she continued.

“You bought me a weapon, held me whenever I had nightmares. You’ve always treated me more kindly than necessary, but it wasn’t because you wanted to sleep with me.”

“We were an exception.”

Leon gave a brief response, took out a cigarette he had bought in Aseldorf, lit it, and opened the shutters beside the bed. The cold wind made his hair whip around violently. He took a deep, satisfying drag and exhaled gray smoke.

When they stayed in Tiran, he had quite liked this southern leaf. It felt as if burning it allowed the filth inside him to dissipate.

“Aren’t you going to apologize?”

“If you want to hear it, even if it’s a lie, I will. Do you really want an empty apology?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“……”

Leon let out a chuckle at her silence. “Why ask for it when it only makes you feel worse?”

“Was the story about your mother true?”

She suddenly asked. Come to think of it, he had told her about his birth mother, back when he had lost his mind in the wilderness.

Leon looked at the blurred stars caused by the snow and answered after a long while.

“No.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“That was a lie I made up to make you love me more. People are drawn to those who resemble them.”

She bolted upright as if to argue. It was clear that she wanted to talk about his parents. She had always wanted to reach the end of it, always wanted to dig deeper.

“You’re starved for affection.”

Don’t come any closer. No more.

Leon coldly spat out and tilted his head with a smirk.

The woman’s face paled as if she’d been struck by a knife. The full moon faintly illuminated her bloodless face.

“That’s why you were pleased when you heard a story sadder than your own. You can call it sympathy or pity if you want, but back then, your eyes were just like those of most people who see misfortune and think, ‘I’m glad I haven’t gone through anything that terrible.'”

Everyone has an unbreakable boundary.

As her crimson pupils wavered, the atmosphere trembled unsettlingly. Leon laughed as if amused, and when the cigarette had completely burned out, he put it on the side table and leaned forward. Their lips met softly. As always, they exchanged murky, unclear breaths.

“Oh, and your friend is dead. If you’re going to have nightmares, dream of me instead.”

He whispered after breaking away from her lips, and she stared at him intently. A strange tension coursed through them like electricity in their veins. Sometimes, it felt like he might lose his mind.

They say you should gouge out the eye that sins and cut out the tongue that sins. But what do you do if your whole heart sins? What if your entire being desires her?

“I understand now why you wanted to hide it. You’re completely twisted from the inside out,” she muttered softly.

Leon chuckled, tilting his head, and buried his face into her neck. She fit perfectly in his arms, as if she had been made for him. If he held her tightly enough to crush her, she would dissolve like a mirage. Even her scent was tender and delicate.

“Took you long enough to realize.”

The shadows of snow streamed across the white bed. The marks left their traces across his back as he held her. It was impossible to tell whose heartbeat was whose. Leon slowly lifted his lips.

“If you’re going to poison me, put it in my drink. So I might drink it unknowingly.”

At his voice, low and sunken, she curled up as if feeling cold. Her faint breaths reached his ears.

Perhaps, what they had exchanged all this time wasn’t breath but poison. Otherwise, why would he feel this parched thirst?

Outside the window, small, powdery snowflakes were swirling. The sound of falling snow could be heard in the distance. Like on a lonely day when they had shared winter fruit, the day piled up.

***

“Your friend is dead. If you’re going to have nightmares, dream of me instead.”

Leon Berg was cruelly kind. He always had been. He pretended to torment her but then took care of her, leaving her confused.

Veronica liked him for that. How could she not? Even if he hurt her, he was the only one left beside her when her family and friends had all died.

A flame burning alone in pitch-black darkness. One should pull away after being painfully burned, but the alluring fire made her want to grab it even tighter. The moment she finally reached out and touched the flame in her dream, the drowsiness faded, and she slowly opened her eyes.

The first thing she saw was the black fabric she was clutching as if she would tear it apart. It was early dawn, and the world was painted in navy blue. Veronica lifted her head. Leon’s face was right there. His hair was tousled, but his eyes were alert.

Veronica stared at him blankly for a moment before asking, “Didn’t you sleep?”

“I did.”

He replied shortly, removing her hand from his clothes. It seemed he couldn’t get up because she was holding onto him.

As he was about to let go, Leon suddenly examined her palm and asked, “What’s wrong with your hand?”

“Ah… I’ve developed a habit of clenching it tightly when I’m nervous.”

She made a vague excuse, and Leon frowned at the marks left by her nails. Still, the atmosphere was somewhat calmer than the last night.

Did he know how unusually gentle he could be in the morning? It made her feel strangely nostalgic, like when they had crossed the wilderness together after a particularly painful argument. His arms made one want to be comforted, to stay a little longer and whine until he held them like an adult comforting a child.

“It’s still dark. Are you leaving already?”

“Can’t be lazy and wake up when the sun rises, just because it’s winter.”

Judging that the wound on her palm wasn’t serious, Leon got up from the bed. Veronica lay there, watching as he washed and prepared to leave. She only got up from bed right before he was about to leave. As she timidly approached the door, Leon sensed her presence and turned around.

“What is it?”

“I just… wanted to say goodbye.”

“You could’ve said that earlier.”

“A proper farewell isn’t like that.”

“Oh, a farewell,” Leon murmured, staring at her as if she were an oddity.

Only then did Veronica realize how strange it was for them to exchange such words. It felt almost as if they were family.

Or, to be more precise, it felt like they were a married couple. Once she thought that, her lips refused to part. Veronica met Leon’s waiting gaze and impulsively spoke the next words.

“Can’t you come back early today? I waited all day yesterday, doing nothing.”

Leon didn’t respond. But he made a face she had never seen before. Veronica liked that expression and decided she would ask him again tomorrow. It was as simple as that.

***

Throughout the winter, Leon met nobles who had private soldiers, persuaded them, and trained their troops to deal with Bahamut. He presented the visions Veronica recorded to the Emperor and had them compared with the news delivered by carrier pigeons. The detailed descriptions of various countries astonished the upper echelons, who were privy to external affairs.

At times, Veronica saw the world through Bahamut’s eyes in the south or the west. According to her, the “faced” Bahamut had hidden deep within the Blasen mountain range again. It seemed almost like hibernation.

Even the northernmost Whiteland was safe, aside from the border regions. The winter itself had halted Bahamut when no one else could.

Considering it had come up from the warm southern region after two years, it was only natural that Bahamut struggled to adapt to this particularly harsh winter.

At least they now had some time to prepare for war—a small silver lining amidst the misfortune.

Leon also set a date for her audience with the Emperor. All the nobles of Kart would gather to see the “living” assimilator. She had become, in essence, the thrilling spectacle of a dull winter.

When Leon returned after repeating the same warnings to the deaf-eared swine of nobility, she would still be awake, swinging her sword. He had told her there was no need, but she always waited for him to wash so they could have dinner together.

It was a strange feeling. Someone waiting at the end of the day. No matter how the day had gone, she was always in the same place.

One day, the room was empty, and he instinctively drew his sword, only to encounter her in the hallway.

“Ah, I broke the window in my old room while practicing. I moved to another room on my own.”

She sheepishly explained but widened her eyes when she saw the blade.

“You said it was okay to break some furniture while learning to control my power. I’m sorry for leaving the room without permission. But this time, I truly figured out how to control it.”

She wasn’t boasting. She could now use Bahamut’s power when she wanted. Even if it wasn’t yet completely under her control, being able to use it at will even once would be enough to impress the Emperor.

But was the reason he drew his sword truly because he was angry she had left the room? Or had he assumed someone had attacked and feared for her safety? He didn’t know. Leon didn’t dwell on it.

After dinner, he helped correct her posture as she swung her sword. She devoured every movement—cutting, slashing, thrusting—as a child learns to speak. She needed something to immerse herself in. Every step she took mirrored the ones he had taken as a child.

“What’s this?”

It was the day before her audience with the Emperor.

“Did you think you could enter the palace dressed like that?”

She looked bewildered at the silver armor before her. She seemed unable to put it on herself, so he helped, and her face turned red. She looked like a ripe summer peach at times like these.

“Oscar seems to be doing well, too. It looks like the knights’ pay is good.”

“Life is easier when you don’t get married.”

He answered indifferently, and she made a subtle face. She looked over the cloak and helmet one by one, muttering something under her breath.

“……”

The church bell rang, drowning out her words. He turned his gaze from the window back to her as she spoke again.

“Thank you. This is the first time I’ve received such a grand gift.”

Perhaps because of the setting sun, her entire face was flushed. Her eyes, cheeks, ears, and neck were all red.

Certain moments in life are inexplicably special—like a galaxy of blooming stars or fallen leaves on the wet ground. Once imprinted in the mind, they never fade, engraving even the temperature and humidity into the skin.

The scarlet sky without a trace of clouds darkened. Leon was certain that even after her death, he would never forget this face.