Swan Grave - Chapter 44

Anna had spent far more time with Rothbart than with Rose. But trust was another matter. Unlike Rose, who showed her hostility outright, all the emotions Rothbart showed Anna were hazy, like a fog.

“Just as my wife returned, I felt as though you might leave too.”

Suddenly, the words Rothbart had spoken after their lovemaking earlier came back to her.

“If you could leave, you would do so at once, wouldn’t you?”

Why had Rothbart said something so absurd? She hadn’t understood at the time, but if what Rose had said truly was the way to return to the original world, then the reason for his unease became clear.

If Rothbart had lied, why would he specifically make the excuse that she had to bear a child? Because only a swan could give birth to a demon’s child? But he already had Svanhild, so there was no urgency for an heir. He didn’t even seem like someone who cared enough for children to want more…

‘Could it be… that he only wanted to create a reason for me to spread my legs willingly? But why would he go that far?’

Countless suppositions tormented Anna. The more they came, the deeper her doubts sank endlessly. She felt suffocated, as if invisible hands dragged her into the mire, plugging her airways with mud.

Anna had trusted him. Fragile as straw, a trust built on a one-sided contract, maintained only by hollow fleshly coupling, her very sense of self dismissed as nothing more than a substitute.

But once that trust shattered, everything scattered like a mere illusion. She had given her heart to that illusion. Betrayal twisted her insides.

Even giving her his bed, even calling her name during coupling, perhaps it had all been planned to disarm her. And she, foolishly fluttering at the sound of her name from his lips. What had Rothbart thought as he watched her?

‘He asked me to be the Marchioness’s replacement. Did that mean to endure his vengeance in her stead as well?’

Anna laughed hollowly. Thinking back, when Rothbart had first asked her to stand in the Marchioness’s place, it had only been a proposal. He’d never punished her for intruding into the Marchioness’s room… Perhaps all of this, even the deceit, was itself the punishment she was to bear.

Thinking of it as surrogate vengeance, she faintly understood why he had tried to make her his mistress, even his wife. The higher one is lifted, the harder the fall when pushed.

In the end, she had been nothing more than a music box in his hand. Spinning round and round to the winding of his key, giving off pleasing moans… Only to be flung to the floor.

To shatter in place of the wife who had flown from his grasp—this was the fate Rothbart had prepared for Anna.

“To me, Anna, there is no one but you.”

So it must have been.

If his aim had been to torment her, then Rothbart had succeeded. For all those things together had shoved her down to the bottom of hell.

But Sehyun, who had no inkling of Anna’s inner turmoil, assumed she was troubled for another reason.

“Why? Because you don’t have clothes? You sold your clothes, but you kept your undergarments, didn’t you?”

“Even my undergarments were stolen. I have nothing left…”

Anna murmured blankly. Only then did she realize she had lost all of her garments.

Even if she were to send word to the village where she had sold them, it would take far too long, and even if word reached them, months had already passed. The chances that her garments remained untouched in that village were slim.

If the method Rose spoke of was true, then Anna had lost all conditions to return to her original world. Of course she despaired. But what plunged her into true despair was Rothbart’s betrayal.

‘From start to finish, it was all deceit.’

Expecting anything from him had been her mistake. From the beginning, she had been only a replacement. It had been ruined from the start, so to expect the ending to be set right was absurd.

Anna didn’t want to think anymore. Fatigue overwhelmed her again and again, dragging her into haziness. All she wanted was to escape from it all.

“Then we can share my clothes. We may have quarreled a bit in this world… But we still have to return together, don’t we? Right?”

Sehyun coaxed the dazed Anna again and again. It was a consideration unlike the selfish side he had shown in this world. Watching Anna’s expression, Sehyun added.

“Or… do you not want to go back to our original world?”

“…No.”

Anna slowly shook her head. Her mind was a mess. She couldn’t tell what exactly it was she wanted now.

She wanted to grab Rothbart by the collar and demand why he had lied, yet at the same time, she wanted to disappear forever from his sight without exchanging another word. And yet she also couldn’t believe this was truly the end of things with him.

Either way, if Sehyun’s words were right, today was Anna’s only remaining chance. If Sehyun truly returned to the original world, Anna left behind would have no way to obtain her clothes from before.

Anna said in a weak voice, “If you lend me clothes, oppa…”

“Of course.”

Sehyun, delighted at Anna’s faint agreement, laid out his plan.

“Good. I’ll hide quietly in a corner for now, then when the sun sets and the servants all return to their quarters, I’ll slip out of the mansion. If we’re caught together, it’ll be hard to explain, so you follow after me a little later.”

“All right.”

“Then in the meantime, I’ll fetch the clothes. I hid them so no one else would lay eyes on them. You know the big clove tree on the path from the stables to the garden? Let’s meet near there around one in the morning.”

As Anna nodded slowly, her body trembled with betrayal. She resented herself for having pitied Rothbart even for a moment. She had even thought of giving up her original world to remain by his side…

Once the line was crossed. With that resolve, what Anna had cast aside and broken, Rothbart would never understand for as long as he lived. Perhaps he never even intended to. For him, the only thing truly important was the wife who had already gone.

How had someone like her, who never trusted others easily, ended up like this?

She had been bewitched in those moments when his heart-red eyes would sometimes sparkle and pulse as they looked at her. Foolishly, not realizing they might have been directed at the shadow of the Marchioness looming behind her.

No, it wasn’t that she hadn’t known. She had known, but turned away. To wet her lips with the single drop of affection he gave her. It was all her karma. Anna closed her eyes. They said the demon’s power didn’t work on swans. Yet the sound of the demon’s mocking laughter rang in her ears like a hallucination.

***

After Sehyun left the room, Anna had no memory of how time passed. The maids who shared the room glanced at Anna lying still and thought, as usual, that she must not be feeling well. Turning her back on them, Anna lay staring blankly with open eyes as time slipped by. In the meantime, the sky darkened, and all in the mansion fell asleep. It was the time she had promised Sehyun.

Anna quietly rose from her bed, leaving the sleeping maids behind. Afraid of being heard by others, she tiptoed carefully.

Tonight, the corridor sunk in darkness was unusually quiet. Wearing a black dress without her white apron, she was easily hidden in the shadows.

Her steps through the corridor were steady. Her pale face, lit by the red moonlight, was stiff as wax. The fact that less than a few hours remained until she could return to her original world poured cold water on her already chaotic thoughts.

When she had first learned that Rothbart had lied to her, it had felt like a slap, her vision spinning and her head filled with chaos. But as she lay alone and turned it over and over, Anna’s heart grew harder and harder.