Senior, I've Come to Visit - Chapter 57

After visiting Iella’s house yesterday, today I holed myself up in my home laboratory again after work.

Outside the window, darkness and silence settled over everything. I placed the signaler somewhere easy to see and speed-read through books on poison. I forced myself to read the densely packed text of the thick volumes.

“Since you’re a smart person, I trust you won’t do anything foolish. Think about how to solve the fundamental problem you mentioned.”

If I wanted to tell the queen anything and deceive her, I needed to prepare thoroughly.

“…Haa.”

But my eyes kept closing and yawns slipped out.

After spacing out for a moment, I stared at the top of the desk. Usually, I kept the area neat, but as if mirroring my mental state, things were scattered everywhere. Items from the time I made the lactation-promoting potion, various books on poison, self-defense magic tools….

Then my gaze fell on a stack of books.

The books I borrowed from Nardi’s study when I visited his home the other day.

Since they weren’t mine and were rare and valuable, they naturally reminded me of him. The lingering sleepiness vanished a bit, but my scattered thoughts only made it harder to concentrate.

“….”

I should stop for today.

Holding on like this when I couldn’t focus was pointless. It’d be better to sleep. I’d overworked myself for several days and was exhausted, and I still had a long list of things to do. I left the lab with the signaler in one hand.

The dim interior of my house somehow felt unfamiliar. Was it because I’d barely spent time outside the lab recently, or because Nardi wasn’t here?

Even when I drank some water in the kitchen, something felt off. Especially the kitchen and bedroom, the two places where Nardi spent most of his time while living in my house. The kitchen that once felt small because of his tall, large frame now felt strangely spacious without him.

When he lived here, Nardi filled the kitchen with warmth and delicious food.

Now, only a cold silence lingered.

I’d skipped meals and felt hungry, but I had no appetite and nothing particularly appealing to eat. Since sleep mattered more than food, I headed to the bedroom.

“Ah….”

After staying up for several nights, even the bed felt unfamiliar as I lay down for the first time in a while. I stretched my stiff body, then curled up under the blanket, fiddling with the signaler. In the soft lamplight cutting through the dimness, my eyes landed on Nardi’s clothes.

“….”

This is driving me crazy….

The house was full of traces of him, constantly reminding me of him.

Far from here, in the Agrian Forest of the Barzen Mountain Range, Nardi was in the middle of subjugating demonic beasts. I wondered if he was doing well. At the same time, the night before he left for the subjugation, everything that had happened at the palace replayed in my mind.

“…I shouldn’t have said it like that.”

Now that time had passed and I could look back calmly, I regretted what had happened then.

“Our relationship started from a one-night stand anyway. To be honest, I never planned on it lasting long.”

“…Don’t say things like that all of a sudden.”

“It’s not sudden. The research is finished, the milk stopped… I want to stop now.”

“Stop what?”

“Us meeting. For me, it was just a fling… and I think it’s time to end it.”

When Nardi came to pick me up at the palace, I snapped and told him we should end things.

Looking back, it might sound like an excuse, but I wasn’t in my right mind because I was so worried about Iella. I was shocked by the queen’s sudden order and threat, and my only thought was that I needed to check on Iella’s safety. I needed to get there as quickly as possible, but Nardi felt like he was stopping me from going… so I said harsh things just to push him away.

And Rocceni’s insult too.

Already on edge because of the rumors, being belittled by Rocceni right in front of Nardi made me feel even worse. But that wasn’t Nardi’s fault. I ended up taking it out on the wrong person. Someone else insulted me, and I hurt Nardi instead… even I thought I’d been truly awful.

“Eloise, please….”

His pained whisper and the way he covered his eyes with his large hand came back to me. I wasn’t certain, but it felt like he was crying…. Guilt clawed at me, and I suddenly felt like crying too.

Why did I do that…? Really.

I’d never yelled at anyone or said cruel things before. Maybe I hurt people without realizing it, but I’d never intentionally wound someone.

Thinking back, it had been like that from the beginning. When I was with him, I often acted emotionally and impulsively, unlike my usual self. Like when he came to visit me while I was sick, when I allowed him to suck my breasts, and when we ended up having sex.

“Our relationship started from a one-night stand anyway. To be honest, I never planned on it lasting long.”

But as time passed, I knew we had long since moved past something casual.

Nardi had kept expressing that he liked me, and anyone but a fool would’ve noticed he was sincere. Yet I had ignored that sincerity and spoken carelessly.

“….”

Guilt rose up along with a sudden emptiness.

Even after Nardi left for the subjugation, I’d been so overwhelmed that I couldn’t feel his absence. But after giving Iella the powerful magic tools and the signaler yesterday, once I finally had a moment to breathe… lying alone in this dark room made his absence feel real.

It felt like I’d changed without even noticing. Before dating Nardi, I had lived just fine. I never lacked anything when I was alone. I didn’t get lonely and lived perfectly well.

But now that I’d dated him and gotten used to being together all the time, the current situation felt strange. I missed the everyday life from just a few days ago. Working with Nardi, going home together after work, eating delicious dinner, and having sex all night. Falling asleep feeling safe, sleeping well.

Now my mind was restless from everything happening, and I couldn’t relax. My body was exhausted, but thoughts kept spinning endlessly, keeping me awake.

“Haa….”

In the darkness, I closed my eyes and shifted around, trying to find a comfortable position.

No matter how long I tossed and turned, sleep wouldn’t come, and it was driving me mad. I’d been so sleepy earlier, so why was I like this now? I rubbed my face into the blanket, and without thinking, my hand slipped under my pajama top. I stroked my empty stomach, then cupped one breast.

“….”

Would it be better if I touched myself?

Because I’d gotten used to having sex at night before sleeping, this kept happening. Missing such an important routine made me feel hollow, unable to fall asleep, so my hand began to move.

I spread my fingers and kneaded the soft, full mound firmly. It filled my hand completely, warm and supple, the tender flesh giving a strange comfort even if it wasn’t true peace.

Lying on my side, I used one hand to play with both breasts in turn. They pressed together from the angle, narrowing the space between them and deepening the cleavage. I easily stimulated left and right evenly, then rolled a nipple between my fingers.

“Mm….”

The breasts that no longer produced milk were soft all the way through, without even a hint of moisture. I pressed both nipples at once between my palm and the middle joint of my middle finger, rubbing up and down. The nipples, already hardened, swept against my hand with a resistant firmness. The tingling pleasure that spread pushed away every other thought and made me focus only on this.

Once I’d rubbed them until they couldn’t get any stiffer, I moved my hand lower. I gripped both my pajama pants and underwear together, pulled them down to my thighs, then shifted my legs to kick them off completely. My bare legs touched the blanket and felt cool. Leaning forward a little more, I wedged the blanket between my thighs and began pressing my vulva against it.

“Haa….”

I pressed my thighs tightly around the soft blanket and moved my hips up and down. The whole mound, plump and swollen with love juice, rubbed and flattened against the friction, sending sharp waves of sensation across my body.