Odalisque - Chapter 91

“Uncle Adolf simply told me… that I should get better soon so I wouldn’t be a burden to my sister. That if I wanted to take care of myself, I had to get healthy quickly, study hard, earn money, and live on my own. That right now, I’m useless baggage, unable to do anything.”

As Corida sobbed with her nose turning red, Liv wrapped her arms tightly around her.

“You’re not useless baggage; you’re my precious sister. How would I have endured without you? If you start talking about leaving already, I’ll be too sad.”

At Liv’s soft words, Corida pursed her lips tightly and buried her face. Holding Corida close, Liv gritted her teeth. It was fine if her own pride was shattered. But hearing Corida call herself ‘useless’ was a different matter altogether.

Just because they wanted to separate Corida from her, did they have to go this far?

Liv felt anger.

Did she really need to endure all of this just to cling to Dimus Dietrion’s fleeting interest? Even after sacrificing her body, her heart, and her pride, enduring people’s prying eyes and whispers, had the comfortable life that came in return not been enough?

Amongst all the fury and confusion, one thing became clear.

…At the very least, the fact that her desire not to fall out of favor with that man was not something worth preserving at the cost of making Corida cry.

Her sister, Corida, was far more important than the attention of a man who might vanish by tomorrow.

***

Liv’s recovery came a few days after Thierry’s visit.

During that time, Liv took the opportunity to reflect on the past, and she realized a few more things. For example, about Brad’s profile nude painting.

Given Brad’s personality, he wouldn’t have painted it if there wasn’t money involved from the start. The fact that he insisted on painting a profile meant that, in the end, someone had ordered it from the beginning.

Even the source of all these events, that nude painting, might have been instigated by the Marquis.

Perhaps the time when he decided to keep Liv by his side was much earlier than she had thought. As she considered that all the assistance she had thought was coincidental might have been intentional, her heart turned cold.

Had the Marquis found it amusing to watch her, desperately clinging to his attention, grateful for his interest?

“I heard you’ve recovered.”

Liv, whose hands had been moving mechanically, stopped. She had been staring blankly at the meat on her plate, barely touched, and looked up. The Marquis wasn’t even holding his cutlery. It was impossible to tell when he had stopped eating.

“I’ve recovered.”

“But you aren’t eating.”

They were seated in an upscale restaurant. The Marquis had reserved this place after hearing of her recovery. Liv knew this wasn’t a place anyone could reserve just because they wanted to. Especially not today.

Today, the Cardinal was finally arriving in Buerno.

Their table had a direct view of the largest chapel square in Buerno. Crowds welcoming the Cardinal were filling the square at this very moment, with celebratory parades and performances starting from the morning, continuing right outside the window. The value of such a seat, offering a view of everything, was beyond measure.

For Liv, who had been holed up at home all this time, the Marquis suggested that this would be a good change of pace. If this were the old her, who knew nothing, she might have enjoyed the view and the taste of the food.

“…I’m having trouble digesting.”

“I should’ve brought the mansion’s chef.”

Without hesitation, the Marquis called a waiter and ordered food that would be easier to digest—a comment that would’ve made the restaurant’s chef gasp.

“Even now, let Dr. Gertrude examine you.”

“I’m fine.”

“If you’re going to say that, at least look fine.”

“I am fine.”

After repeating her refusal, Liv lowered her gaze. The plate of meat, cut into small pieces she had no intention of eating, caught her eye.

It was a wonderful dish. The problem wasn’t the food but rather that Liv, who was eating it, wasn’t someone suited for such an extravagant meal.

She could pretend for a time. Perhaps once or twice.

“I was always fine… until you showed up.”

“Are you saying I’m the reason you’re unwell?”

“Maybe.”

Liv could feel the Marquis’s gaze sharpen. She didn’t bother to look up to confirm. Instead, she quietly set down her cutlery.

“I thought everything was better now, that I was wealthier than before… But all that has improved is the facade.”

Luzia Malte had said that she wouldn’t be jealous of a mere mistress. Liv thought she understood why.

No matter how well a mistress imitated, there was a limit to how much she could mimic those of the upper class.

Liv, treated at best as a mistress, a favored possession, would never understand their mindset.

“I have no intention of being separated from Corida.”

“What?”

“Corida is my only family and the one who gives me the strength to keep living.”

The Marquis frowned at the sudden change in topic. Even so, he didn’t ask Liv what she meant. Though he’d been caught, he showed no sign of surprise.

“Teacher, shielding a child isn’t a good way to raise them.”

The words that broke the short silence were beyond disappointing.

Liv bit her lip. Maybe—just maybe—it hadn’t been his idea. Deep down, she had held on to that hope. Or perhaps she had hoped he would deny it, even if it was a lie.

“I am very grateful that you helped with Corida’s treatment. And for all the financial support, too. I know you’ve bestowed blessings on me far greater than I could ever deserve.”

Liv placed her clasped hands on her lap and licked her lips before continuing, “But in matters regarding Corida’s future, you shouldn’t have excluded me, regardless of what you wanted.”

“I don’t understand. It’s not like I was trying to get rid of your sister. In fact, shouldn’t you be grateful enough to bow down and say thank you?”

Some might call this complaint selfish. But how long could she be grateful for a one-sided act of grace? Especially when it went in a direction she never wanted.

Wasn’t it merely charity for his own satisfaction?

“You already have everything of mine in your hands, Marquis. There’s nothing more you need to change or remove.”

“I want you to come live at Langess Mansion.”

A sharp clattering sound echoed. Liv instinctively looked up in surprise and saw the Marquis’s wine glass swaying.

He had slammed it down so hard that droplets of red wine had splashed out.

Looking at the stains with an annoyed expression, the Marquis turned back to Liv.

“I want you there without ever leaving.”

For a moment, an indiscernible emotion flickered in his cold blue eyes.

“It means I don’t want you falling into someone else’s hands.”

The Marquis spoke as if he wanted to take Liv and lock her away in his mansion right that instant. His gaze was so intense it was almost suffocating.

Liv, her lips trembling slightly, barely managed to ask, “Like those many pieces of art in your basement?”

“It would’ve been easier if that were the case. At least they stay put without fuss.”

“I’m not a trophy. Not some expensive statue meant to be displayed. I’m a person—a person with feelings and thoughts.”

Liv’s eyes briefly glistened with tears.

“I have a sense of self too.”

She wasn’t sure how it would sound to the Marquis, who hadn’t even bothered to call her by her name. But this was something Liv had always wanted to convey. She wasn’t just a ‘mistress’ or a ‘statue’; she was Liv Rodaise, a person. He, at the very least, needed to know that.

If, as he said, he truly ‘cherished’ her even a little… then…

“You might be used to giving and taking one-sidedly, but I… I think there needs to be a mutual exchange, at least between people. So…”

“Teacher.”

His irritated voice cut her off.

“This is as natural as water flowing downhill.”

From outside, already noisy, sudden cheers erupted.

“The kind of ‘exchange’ you’re talking about requires equality. Do you think that’s possible between you and me?”

Amidst the cheering, the crowd began chanting the Cardinal’s name.

“I always thought you knew your place, Teacher.”

The Marquis glanced at the raucous scene outside, clicked his tongue, and wiped his mouth with his napkin.

“This kind of conversation is unfortunate, even for me.”

Liv, who had been struggling to keep her trembling lips closed, finally looked down. Her eyes burned, and an uncontrollable despair flared up like fire, burning everything black.

She thought she could endure it.

She had overestimated herself.

Liv silently wept. Drops of tears fell onto her lap, staining her clothes pathetically. The permission that man offered was always partial and would never change.

But if it wasn’t everything, it was meaningless.

She would rather not have it at all.