My Husband Caught Me Having an Affair - Chapter 88

“I’ve actually thought about apologizing to you for a long time. But when the moment came, the words wouldn’t come out. Every time we spoke, it always seemed to end in an argument, no matter my intentions.”

“Well… to be fair, that’s partly my fault too.”

Feeling awkward, I said so, and Ethan faintly smiled.

“Hearing you say that lightens my heart a bit.”

“……”

It felt unfamiliar—strangely unfamiliar.

The Ethan I knew was always scowling, constantly uttering harsh, dispassionate words. No matter the circumstance, he was not someone who would smile at me or say he was sorry.

“You said you’ve thought about it for a long time, but… I honestly can’t quite understand. If it was so hard to bring up, why now? Why today, at this moment? There must have been a reason, a trigger for you to decide to apologize.”

Ethan’s expression grew complicated at my question.

“That’s…”

“That’s what?”

“…Honestly, I don’t even know. I don’t know why I suddenly felt like saying it. Just earlier, when I saw you…”

Ethan trailed off, hesitating. Impatient for some reason, I urged him on.

“Earlier? When? Why?”

“…I don’t know.”

Ethan fell silent after that. His expression didn’t seem embarrassed or unsure how to explain. Rather, it was the look of someone genuinely uncertain about their own reasoning.

“……”

I narrowed my eyes and stared at Ethan before letting out a small sigh.

“Well, in any case, I understand. Thank you for apologizing, but… I didn’t know you were even thinking that way. To be honest, it’s a little confusing. And as for the topic of children, I don’t have an answer right now. I think… I’ll need to think it over.”

“Of course. I understand.”

Ethan nodded. Even his understanding response felt strange and unfamiliar to me. Furrowing my brow, I stared at him.

“Then, I’ll leave. Let me know when you’ve made up your mind.”

“…Okay.”

Ethan turned and left the room. Even after he was gone, I stood there staring at the closed door for a long time.

***

After the door closed, Ethan let out a quiet sigh. Whether it was from relief or exhaustion, he wasn’t sure.

Everything he had said to Camille earlier was entirely true. He had carried those words in his heart for a long time, yet found it hard to speak them aloud. And he genuinely didn’t know why he was able to say them today.

Today, Camille had seemed happier than ever, smiling often and appearing much gentler toward him, likely because of Elodie’s presence. She was so unlike her usual self when she was with him.

Seeing her like that stirred up complicated and indescribable feelings within Ethan.

Perhaps, if he had tried harder, he could have made this kind of life his much earlier.

A life where Camille smiled brightly, where they had a child together, and their days were filled with warmth and peace—this could have been the norm for the Dumont household.

If only he had put in more effort. If only he hadn’t left Camille neglected for so long.

If he had, the child in their midst today might not have been Elodie, but one born of their own blood. A child who resembled Camille, himself, or perhaps even his late parents—a true heir of Dumont.

‘Not just one, either.’

As a child, Ethan had always wished for siblings. But his mother’s frail health had made it impossible for her to have more children. After she passed away, his father died a few years later, leaving Ethan alone.

Though he had no time to feel lonely, as he was preoccupied with preserving the family his father had left behind.

His sense of duty had consumed him, and in doing so, he had come close to losing the one new family member who had come into his life.

But if it wasn’t too late…

If he could share his true feelings with Camille, perhaps they could start anew.

It was this hope that had compelled him to speak impulsively.

‘…Yes, that’s it. I finally understand now.’

What amazed him was that even after apologizing, he felt no discomfort or regret. Instead, he felt a profound sense of relief.

Despite his initial worries, Camille’s response wasn’t as bad as he had feared. He had thought she might get angry or mock his change in demeanor.

But that wasn’t the case.

A misaligned button could simply be undone and refastened.

Over the past six months, Ethan had seen enough to realize Camille was nothing like the person he had prejudged her to be.

Through Elodie, he had come to see that Camille could be endlessly kind and considerate toward those she cared about.

A faint smile appeared on Ethan’s lips.

***

That night, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Even after lying down to sleep, I couldn’t close my eyes.

To be honest, I had suspected something for a while. The moment I realized it for sure was when Ethan had firmly opposed the idea of me involving myself in Nicolas’s plans.

‘I don’t take risks when it comes to things I can’t afford to lose, no matter how slim the chance.’

That night, I had also struggled to sleep, feeling inexplicably restless.

But today was different.

‘I mean, it’s not every day you hear someone suggest having a child together…’

It was the first time in my life a man had said such a thing to me.

‘Then again, I’m Ethan’s wife of five years. From his perspective, it’s not an unreasonable thing to say.’

But it was different for me. While we’d lived as husband and wife for half a year now, Ethan was still essentially a stranger to me.

Yes, there had been moments—faint glimmers of attraction or vague feelings of warmth—but it wasn’t enough to bridge the gap.

Even now, my original plan to divorce Ethan remained intact. I couldn’t imagine living my life as the Duchess of Dumont, as his wife.

‘And now he wants to skip over everything—confessions, courtship, proposals, and even the wedding—to jump straight to having a child? That’s not how I want things to be.’

In my previous life, my lack of romantic experiences hadn’t been by choice. I’d always dreamed of falling in love and experiencing romance, but life had gotten in the way.

By the time I was ready to start dating seriously, illness struck, and I never got the chance.

‘I can’t even describe how unfair it felt, lying in a hospital bed, living vicariously through romance novels…’

The worst part was that it had left my standards unrealistically high.

Ethan, to me, wasn’t someone I could see as a romantic partner. To him, I was just a wife with whom he wanted to mend a previously strained relationship. There was no room for thrilling courtship or passionate love in our dynamic.

‘…Does Ethan even see me in that way? Or is he just acting out of duty and responsibility as a husband and a Duke?’

Ethan had always been a man of duty, especially when it came to his family. His suggestion to have a child could very well have been part of fulfilling a duty rather than stemming from affection, and the change in his attitude might not have been due to love but simply because he realized he had been neglecting his duties as a husband.

‘Ugh, seriously.’

I kicked my feet under the covers. No matter how much I tried to sort out my thoughts, it wasn’t working.

From the very beginning, ever since I found myself in this situation, I had been working toward a single goal: divorce. Turning that premise on its head overnight was no easy task.

In the end, I spent most of that night wide awake.

***

The next morning, I sat idly, still feeling unsettled, when Marie entered the room.

“Madam, the head butler says the Duke wishes to see you. He’s waiting in his study.”

At her words, I couldn’t help but flinch.

‘He told me to let him know once I’d made up my mind, but he’s calling me already?’

I wanted to feign illness and avoid the meeting altogether. But if Ethan came to my room, it would only make things more awkward.

Dragging my reluctant feet, I made my way to his study.

When I entered, Ethan stood up from his desk.

“Camille.”

Was it my imagination, or did his voice sound unusually cheerful?

“…You called for me.”

I avoided his gaze and spoke cautiously.

“Yes, I have something to discuss.”

“If it’s about yesterday, I still haven’t made up my mind. I need more time to think—”

“No, it’s not about that. I called you here for a different reason.”

Ethan cut me off and reached for something on his desk. It was an opened envelope.

“…What’s this?”