My Husband Caught Me Having an Affair - Chapter 144

Ethan turned me around. Since he had applied ointment to my shoulders and back yesterday, I had worn a dress with a slightly lower back on purpose.

“The bruises haven’t completely faded yet.”

“Well… they wouldn’t disappear completely overnight, would they?” I spoke with a slight shrug.

Ethan sighed lightly. “Is the wig uncomfortable?”

“Huh? Oh… well, yes, a bit.”

I had been wearing a wig since yesterday, made in a color and length similar to my original hair. It had been hastily prepared for the audience with the Emperor.

When I first returned to the ducal residence with my hair chopped short, it had caused quite a commotion. Victor, Marie, and everyone who saw it had widened their eyes in shock, speechless. Some maids even burst into tears.

“If it’s uncomfortable, you don’t have to wear it at home. Just do what’s comfortable for you.”

“Yes. Once it’s grown out a bit.”

Truthfully, I was wearing it more because of Ethan than anyone else.

Whether he realized it or not, every time he looked at my hair, he had such a pained and sorrowful expression. As if it were his fault that it had been cut.

“More importantly, what are you going to do about Sir Mael and Jacques?”

“I’m thinking about it.”

“I understand your position. It’s not a light matter that vassals acted without authorization. But there are mitigating circumstances. Like I said earlier, they were only following my instructions.”

“……”

Ethan looked at me in silence.

“As you saw, they’re both deeply remorseful. Just this once, I hope you’ll go easy on them. Please.”

At my words, Ethan murmured softly, “…If you make me a promise.”

“What?”

“If you promise it won’t happen again. That you’ll never throw yourself into danger like that again.”

His voice was low and somber. I looked up at him, momentarily lost for words at the sudden change.

“When I realized you were gone that night… do you know how I felt? When no trace of you could be found anywhere. When I thought I might have truly lost you, that I might never see you again…”

Ethan took a quiet breath before continuing, “If I hadn’t gotten you back, I would never have forgiven myself. When you said you were going to meet Jacques’s wife, I had a bad feeling. And I’ll regret not pressing you more, not stopping you. I would’ve kept regretting it, over and over.”

“…Ethan.”

Without thinking, I took Ethan’s hand. His large, strong hand trembled faintly.

“And I would’ve seen it in my dreams, a thousand times. The sight of you turning away after saying goodbye. Watching you ride off in the carriage, getting farther and farther away—from me, forever.”

“……”

The moment I heard it, I instinctively understood. This wasn’t just something he imagined.

He must have had such dreams for real—just like the ones he’d had ever since he lost his father as a child. Reliving the final farewell over and over again.

“I never want to feel that way again. Never. So promise me. That you’ll never do anything like that again.”

Ethan looked me straight in the eye as he spoke. The sorrow and desperation in his gaze made my heart ache.

I thought I already knew. How much Ethan cared for me. How devastated and broken he would be if anything happened to me, if I never returned.

But I hadn’t really known. Not truly. I only now understood.

“…Yes. I promise. I won’t do it again. Never.”

I spoke with a choked voice.

Ethan raised the hand he was holding and kissed the back of it. Then he whispered softly, “It’s a promise.”

We gazed at each other in silence. Then, without knowing who moved first, we kissed.

Unlike the fierce, devouring kiss from the night before, this one was gentle and cautious. His slow, careful movements as he explored my lips and mouth felt so tender that tears welled up without me realizing it.

When Ethan saw my tear-filled eyes, his brows twitched faintly. He gently closed my eyes with his hand and kissed my eyelids and the corners of my eyes. The tears that had escaped soaked into his lips.

We held each other’s hands tightly and shared a long, lingering kiss.

That night, we slept in the same bed for the first time.

Just slept. Perhaps because he was still worried about my condition, Ethan didn’t try to go beyond kissing. Honestly, I couldn’t tell if I felt relieved or disappointed—it was a strange feeling.

Ethan fell asleep before I did. Thinking back, it was clear he hadn’t had proper rest for days either.

His sleeping face looked utterly defenseless, like a different person. Maybe because he always wore a stern, cold expression, that softness seemed almost endearing.

At first, I couldn’t believe it. That Ethan’s gaze toward me had changed. That I had become someone special to him.

Even after I reluctantly admitted it, I still hesitated. I couldn’t be sure about living as Ethan’s wife, about spending the rest of my life with him.

But not anymore.

I gently brushed his cheek and snuggled into his arms. Lying my head on his chest, I could hear the strong, gentle beat of his heart. I used that sound as my lullaby and slowly drifted to sleep.

***

Over the next few days, I received a flood of letters asking about my well-being. One of them was from Elodie. I replied to every letter personally.

“Do you mind if I visit my brother’s house? He seems to be very worried about all this. I should see him and reassure him.”

At my words, Ethan nodded readily. “Of course. Go ahead. Should I come with you?”

“No, it’s fine. You’re busy.”

Under the Emperor’s orders, preparations for the trial were progressing smoothly.

Thierry Girard, Marlon’s eldest son, had returned to the capital immediately and taken charge of the Girard estate, now without a master. His swift actions made it seem as though he had been waiting for something like this.

While Ethan was deeply involved in preparing for the trial, he was also using the Intelligence Division to gather evidence proving Thierry had been complicit in Marlon’s crimes. He had no time for anything else.

Still, the fact that he offered to accompany me made me quietly grateful.

“I’ll be fine on my own. I’m thinking of staying the night, if that’s okay.”

“That’s fine. Go ahead.”

“Thank you.”

Refusing Ethan’s offer wasn’t just about being considerate of his schedule. There was something I still needed to do without him knowing.

I planned to take care of it while visiting my family.

In the past, I hadn’t felt much guilt about deceiving Ethan. From the very first thing I said after possessing this body, it had all been lies—choices I had to make to survive.

But now it was different. Now that I had come to recognize my feelings for Ethan, I didn’t want to keep secrets from him anymore.

Which made it all the more necessary to resolve this matter completely. Once this was over, I would no longer need to lie to Ethan.

It was about the identity of my informant.

“Isn’t it about time you told me the name of your informant? It might be best to extract them before the trial begins—it would be safer for them too.”

That was something Ethan had said to me not long ago. A perfectly reasonable suggestion, but there was no way I could tell him the name of an informant who didn’t exist.

That said, I couldn’t keep hiding it forever either. With Marlon on the run and the Girard intelligence network essentially collapsed, there was no longer any need to conceal the informant’s identity from Ethan.

To resolve this, I needed the help of Gabriel Blanchard.

I had already promised Toma that I would let him see his son, Eric. If things went well, a reunion between father and son might be just the push needed to bring Gabriel out of hiding.