In This Life, I Will Be Your Dog - Chapter 101

I know I shouldn’t do this, but once the emotions burst out, they were already beyond control.

The moment Caelus spoke words he couldn’t take back, his thoughts twisted even further in a bad direction.

Seeing her flustered expression, a wicked sense of satisfaction rose in him.

If he wasn’t going to let her go anyway, a stubborn resolve surged within him to keep her by his side even if he had to force her.

In front of her, who looked at him with teary eyes, unable to say a word, he knelt down on one knee.

His heart ached as if it were rotting away, but his crazed mouth opened on its own.

“How dare you say you want to end this relationship? Just how far did you think I’d tolerate your arrogant behavior?”

“……”

“You asked if this was revenge? Fine, call it revenge. I’ll take revenge on you for the rest of your life, so you stay by my side until the day you die, repenting. That will be the price you pay for killing me.”

With an unbearably cold and icy gaze, Bellona bit the flesh inside her mouth. His words felt like they were gouging out her heart, and she feared she might start crying.

Suddenly, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her up, striding toward the bed.

“Lie down.”

“……!”

“From now on, no matter what happens, we won’t be using separate rooms. Remember this well: wherever I am, that’s your room.”

As if to show he wasn’t lying, he forcefully pushed her down and lay beside her. Staring at the ceiling, he shut his wide-open eyes tightly.

Startled by the sudden situation, Bellona nevertheless quietly obeyed him.

She knew this change in him was because of her.

Strangely, she felt relieved. Perhaps if he let out his anger this way, he might be able to release at least a little of his resentment.

If the grudge he harbored due to fleeting emotions that came and went like the wind remained unresolved, the festering wound might someday return as an even greater pain.

Lying quietly, Bellona instinctively cradled her stomach, calming her heart.

She worried the stormy argument might have strained the child.

She regulated her breathing, knowing that her peace of mind would also soothe the child in her womb.

In the still silence, she closed her eyes for a moment.

Their relationship had become awkward and uncomfortable, but ironically, her heart felt lighter than ever.

Was it because she now had someone to share a secret with—one she couldn’t tell anyone?

The problem was that it had to be Caelus. And yet, paradoxically, because it was him, she felt more at ease.

Above all, she was relieved by the certainty that he wouldn’t cast her out immediately. Even if their marital relationship was over, her selfish desire made her want to stay by his side as one of his vassals.

With that thought, she felt it was fortunate that everything had come to light now.

There was no longer a need to speak in circles or live in fear of him finding out.

Though many hurdles still lay between them, at least when it came to avenging the imperial family, they might now be able to speak openly.

After all, their goal hadn’t changed, and things would likely go more smoothly than before.

For that to happen… he would have to know everything.

Slowly opening her eyes, she stroked her lower belly as if seeking courage.

Bellona resolved to speak the words she could barely bring herself to say.

“That day, there was poison on my sword.”

At her abrupt confession, his tightly shut eyelids twitched.

Caelus, still with his eyes closed, listened to her voice.

“Because of that poison, you… died so meaninglessly.”

“So you’re saying you didn’t know about it.”

“…Even if I didn’t know, it doesn’t mean I’m not guilty. Failing to properly maintain my sword, and failing to identify the traitor—both were my failures as a commander.”

Suppressing her intensifying emotions, she continued in a calm voice, revealing the truth of that day.

“Regardless of that, I still drew my sword with the sincere intent to kill you. If I hadn’t died, I definitely would have killed you. That was… the order I received.”

“Looking back now, I’m really glad. If our roles had been reversed, I wouldn’t have been able to force you like this.”

With a mocking chuckle, the man responded as if it were no big deal.

“It was that bastard’s doing, wasn’t it.”

When he resumed the conversation with that question, Bellona answered in a heavy tone.

“Yes. It was probably Ether’s orders. Of course, Ether must’ve been acting on the Empress or Impes’s command.”

“Tell me what happened afterward.”

At his unexpectedly calm voice, Bellona took a deep breath and recalled what came next.

Even now, the memory of that day made her grind her teeth, but she spoke in a steady voice.

***

Caelus stared at the sleeping woman’s face all night.

Her features, more youthful than in the past, somehow looked gentler. She’d always worn an indifferent, expressionless face, but in sleep, her innocent appearance seemed quite endearing.

A woman like this, having gone through such things, could only end up emotionally desolate.

He had expected as much, but the story she told him that day was more devastating than he’d imagined.

The moment she was betrayed without cause by the subordinate she cherished and the imperial family to whom she had given everything—he couldn’t begin to imagine what Bellona must have felt.

He knew better than anyone how deeply loyal she had been to the imperial family, which made it all the more painful and infuriating.

And yet, he was deeply grateful that she had grieved his death and tried to save the Emperor.

He had long since let go of any misunderstanding he held about Bellona. Her attitude toward the sword had always been the same, then and now.

She was a woman so firm in her convictions that one might call her foolish. She would rather have died than stoop to such disgraceful methods.

Still, confirming that his trust in her hadn’t been misplaced brought a sense of relief.

Strictly speaking, she wasn’t even the one who had killed him.

Bellona had merely fought a fair duel to the best of her ability; it was others who had schemed in the shadows.

So she had committed no crime, nor was there anything she needed forgiveness for.

“Still, you should’ve said something. Even to a dying man—how could you stay silent? Of course I misunderstood. If you’d come clean back then, we wouldn’t have come this far just to circle back.”

His low murmur, tinged with reproach, was filled with regret and bitterness.

The wry smile on Caelus’s face faded into a somber expression once more.

What was he supposed to do with such a stubborn woman?

Earlier, in a fit of rage, he had forced her hand—but it wasn’t how he truly felt.

Of course, if she started being stubborn again, he’d probably end up forcing her once more.

Even so, he felt sorry.

He had said such cruel things.

It didn’t sit well with him, as if he had driven a blade into the heart of a woman already full of wounds.

‘Even if I apologize, you won’t accept it. Even if I ask for forgiveness, you won’t let go of that damn pride. Then I’ll have no choice but to break your wings. So please…’

“Believe in me, Bellona.”

Caelus kissed the back of her hand, resting gently atop her flat belly, as though praying to God.

***

The delicate figure lying face down trembled violently. Mona couldn’t even lift her head, holding her breath.

“I’ve spent all night thinking… how best to tear you and Impes apart.”

“I-I was wrong. P-please… please, just this once, have mercy, Your Grace.”

Recalling last night, Mona pressed her forehead to the floor.

She had never imagined that the grand duke she thought so dignified could have such a terrifying side.

She’d been enjoying her time with Impes when he suddenly burst in.

Just one glance from him had made her skin prickle, as if her life were in danger.

His eyes, wide and wild, were completely unhinged. He looked ready to draw a sword and swing it at any moment.

But then, he furrowed his brow and let out a hollow laugh.

Under the dim light, her red hair must’ve briefly made him mistake her for Bellona—until he realized she wasn’t.

In that instant, his large hand roughly seized her by the hair and slammed her mercilessly to the floor.

Her whole body hurt too much to even scream, but his attention had already shifted to the flailing Impes.

At that moment, Mona managed to escape, grabbing only a thin blanket from the floor, without even her clothes.

Now, seeing him again today, she thought—This is it. I’m really going to die.

Just then, she heard something clink and fall before her.

Instinctively, Mona cautiously lifted her head and widened her eyes at what lay before her.

“You know what this is, don’t you?”

In Caelus’s hand was the necklace Impes had given her yesterday.

She had assumed it was in Impes’s bedchamber when she couldn’t find it this morning, but it seemed Caelus had picked it up when it fell during the scuffle.

“T-that’s…”

“I’ll ask you only once. Where did you get it?”

The gem necklace shimmered mysteriously in the light, swaying as if urging her to answer.