I’m Trapped in a Bloody Reverse Harem Game - Chapter 192
I returned to reality.
“Saintess.”
After using the system, it always felt like waking from a dream. The image of Dietrich smiling as he sent me off kept coming to mind. Even Adrian’s face, who wasn’t particularly close to me but had handed me herbs, hoping for my recovery.
Dietrich silently waited as I exhaled slowly.
Since I had fallen asleep at his side to use the system, the surroundings were quiet. Dietrich must have just happened to be there when I awoke.
Reality is made up of such coincidences. Unlike the game, where I forced coincidences into existence using the system.
When I reached out my hand to Dietrich, he extended his hand to me as well. I threw myself into his embrace with force. Dietrich took a deep breath and held me tightly.
“I waited a long time.”
While I sleep, they keep waiting. That too must be a kind of fear.
Wondering when I’ll wake, fearing that I might continue to use the system and remain in the game.
And even so, they permitted me to use the system. In fact, they even made it easier for me to use it comfortably.
You could tell just by the fact that they never once tried to wake me.
And yet, I had turned away from them in order to escape my fears.
The small fears I experienced within the system. I pretended not to know they would eventually build into something larger.
I had now decided I would no longer ignore them.
Still in Dietrich’s arms, I opened my eyes. “You were right, Dietrich. He really did act just like you said he would.”
“If he’s anything like me, I could see it coming with my eyes closed. It was fun, wasn’t it? Seeing me full of regret—it’s not something you get to see often.” Dietrich chuckled as he let me go.
As he carefully examined my face, I shook my head. “No. I still don’t like seeing you sad.”
“Even if it’s not me?”
“Even if it’s not you, it’s still all you.”
I’d found myself wondering over and over this time—was the Dietrich I met in the game truly Dietrich?
“And you know it too, don’t you? That he’s you.”
The conclusion, as always, was that he was Dietrich. That’s why I was able to love him in the game.
“So you helped him love me, didn’t you?”
At that, Dietrich’s eyes twisted as if on the verge of tears.
The shame of having his vulnerability exposed, and the unhidden affection.
With a twisted expression, he said, “I wanted to say it wasn’t me, but I loved you so much for loving all of me, Saintess…”
“Yes, I love all of you.”
“…Thank you, Haniel. I feel the same.”
As I embraced his trembling shoulders, he leaned his head against me.
Holding his body, trembling with joy, I heard him whisper gently and tenderly in my ear. “You have something to say to Adrian, don’t you?”
His voice brushing against my ear was as kind as a gentle push.
I hugged his solid body tightly, took a quiet breath, and nodded within his arms.
Dietrich slowly let me go.
“Go ahead.”
“Aren’t you jealous?”
I blurted out the sudden thought that crossed my mind. It was curious to me how easily Dietrich, who was usually quite jealous, sent me off to Adrian.
He softly brushed back my hair and smiled faintly. “Adrian will soon be us.”
“…What?”
“The version of me inside the system—who knows when he’ll make a mistake? I hope I’m the one who can comfort you then…”
He kissed the ends of the hair he’d been brushing aside and spoke as if sighing.
“When I’ve frightened you, I hope others will push you toward me.”
It wasn’t just me growing through the system.
Grateful for the deeper, more thoughtful Dietrich, I pressed a light kiss to his lips.
***
Adrian was sitting in the herb chamber, lost in thought.
He stood before the box containing the herbs I had brought back from the previous round, staring at it blankly.
“Adrian.”
In his profile, I saw the image of the Adrian who had cried when I left him in the previous playthrough.
It was only natural for the conclusion I had just reached to rise again.
The Adrian I met in the game—was he the same person as the one standing here? I had concluded that he was.
So even if that Adrian had hurt me and made me sad, I had loved him. And because that Adrian had made me afraid, this Adrian had also come to terrify me just as much.
“…Saintess, you’ve returned.”
He turned slowly toward me as he spoke. Perhaps he hadn’t been sleeping well, as there were dark circles under his eyes. Even through his glasses, his exhaustion was clear, and I took a step closer to him.
Adrian stepped back with the sound of his shoes.
He recoiled like that, assuming I would fear the sound of his footsteps, and his shoulders trembled.
Facing the fear rising within me, I stepped even closer to Adrian.
I intended to share a piece of the past with him.
“Stay still. Don’t step back, don’t run away from me.”
Raising my hand, I placed my palm on Adrian’s forehead. I had no intention of showing him the entire memory.
Just enough for him to understand why I had come to fear him.
I only shared the extent of the memory in which he had confined me.
“Saintess…”
Adrian murmured as he called me. From the short glimpse, he would have understood that I had been imprisoned by him.
“Is this why you were afraid of me?”
“Adrian, I’m not afraid of you. I was just scared of the situation.”
“The fact that I frightened you doesn’t change.”
“I didn’t share that memory to make you feel guilty.”
“…Then why?”
“So we can overcome it.”
I spoke while brushing my fingers along Adrian’s pale cheek. Feeling the tremble in his face, I softly caressed his cheek.
“I’ve realized that lying about what happened in the system benefits no one. From now on, whether you make me afraid or happy, I’ll tell you honestly.”
Because I had learned that goodwill doesn’t always lead to good results.
Out of goodwill, I had lied to Adrian. But when he realized I feared the sound of his footsteps, he began to wither.
I was the same. Avoiding him to conceal my fear, we both sank deeper into sorrow.
It was because we hadn’t faced our fear.
“Overcome…”
Adrian echoed my words with a pale face. He let out a sigh and offered a faint smile.
“The me inside the system will always end up giving you fear, won’t he?”
He was far too harsh on himself.
I didn’t reply. Instead, I reached for his forehead again with my fingers.
This time, I shared with him the image of himself taking care of me and helping me. Adrian widened his eyes, surprised by that version of himself, and received the memory.
He looked completely incredulous that he could have behaved that way.
And then, Adrian asked, “I really cared for you that much?”
“Yes.”
“Even though I didn’t love you?”
It seemed he found it hard to believe that he would act that way without loving me.
I moved the hand resting on his forehead to wrap around his neck. As I gently pulled, Adrian leaned down toward me without resistance.
His brown hair tickled my cheek. Feeling that unfrightening sensation, I nodded.
“Adrian, you’re a much kinder person than you think.”
“……”
“And even if you weren’t kind, Adrian, I would still love you all the same.”
Upon hearing my words, Adrian looked as though he might burst into tears at any moment.
It seemed today was a day for stirring people’s emotions.
Soon after, Adrian began to cry in earnest, teardrops rolling down his cheeks. I placed a kiss on his tear-streaked face.
Adrian, sobbing and trembling with his lips quivering—I had wanted so badly to comfort the Adrian from the previous playthrough in the same way.
Now, finally, with this Adrian in front of me, I was able to do just that.
I kissed his damp cheeks and lips again and again.
Through his sorrowful sobs, Adrian said to me, “Thank you for letting me know what happened.”
Then he murmured softly, “Please keep telling me, Saintess. From now on too.”
That was exactly the answer I had been hoping for.
***
I know now that fear is not something to be avoided. That in order to move forward, there are paths that must be faced.
To keep moving forward, I will confront my fears.
And on that path, I will love and come to understand those I meet.
And they, in turn, will come to love me.
‘Execute system.’
<The Saintess Is a Spy! – [ ]th Playthrough – Now Available>
***
——
Translator’s Note:
I’m not sure if this is the final ending. Dietrich’s Side Story was released in 2024, four years after the main story and the earlier side stories. Hopefully, we’ll get to see more side stories released later this year!
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ginmin
NOOOOOOOO there aren’t anymore chapters? ;;; wahhh I was so excited to see haniel run it back with Adrian man I liked this story so much and looked forward to the monthly translations.. regardless thank u so much for your hard work!!! i still have 70 coins left so if u have a recommendation for anything else to read on your site (w similar rating) id like one please hehehe thank you again!!