If You're Going to Sell Yourself, Sell It to Me - Chapter 74

The further Georgiana walked away from the dining room, the redder her face became. Internally, she kept replaying what she had just heard.

‘Me? A leader?’

The idea that she was rumored to be the leader of Locke and Henry was utterly ridiculous. She didn’t even know they were spies while living with them—a leader, of all things?

Just wait until I meet them. I won’t let it slide. I’ll… definitely scold them.

As she stomped along, her initial indignation began to fade, and her spirits sank. Her slumped shoulders mirrored the slight droop of her sharp eyes.

By the time she returned to her room, her energy seemed to have evaporated. She flopped face-down onto the bed, feeling inexplicably stifled despite the comfort of her surroundings. The cause, though she didn’t want to acknowledge it, was all too clear.

That bad Lockwood.

Even though she knew the name wasn’t real, she couldn’t help but have it lingering in her mind.

He’s okay… right?

She hadn’t heard any news of his capture, so at least there was that.

She didn’t feel inclined to forgive him for deceiving her, but she couldn’t stop worrying whenever she heard news from the Northwest. Whispers of an impending large-scale war had even reached the South. If he truly was a spy for the independence army, he would undoubtedly be involved.

Whether he was caught by the authorities or embroiled in war, both outcomes were equally troubling.

Ah…!

Lying on her bed, Georgiana winced as a sharp pain spread through her lower abdomen. She pressed her hand against the area and gently massaged it. The warmth eased the discomfort.

Lately, she’d been experiencing these intermittent pains. Since they didn’t last long, she hadn’t taken any medicine, but they were concerning. She resolved to visit a female doctor once she’d saved up enough money and had more stability. It had been months since her last cycle, which was irregular anyway, so it seemed like the right time to get checked.

Determined to make a to-do list, she stood to find some paper, but a faint knock at her door interrupted her.

Straightening the creased clothes she’d been lying in, Georgiana walked to the door, puzzled.

Who could it be at this hour?

She opened the door slightly, her nerves on edge, only to find the hallway completely empty.

Perhaps she misheard? As she turned to go back inside, she heard the faint knock again.

Approaching the door once more, she noticed Becky walking toward the adjoining door that led to Angela’s room.

“Did the sound come from this side?”

As if understanding her question, Becky pawed at the door with her fluffy leg, urging Georgiana to open it.

There was no latch on the door, so she carefully pulled it open.

“Oh?”

Standing there in a white nightgown with frills, clutching a small white pillow, was Angela. She looked so endearing, like a fairy straight out of a storybook, that Georgiana immediately knelt and embraced her.

“You’re awake already?”

Angela nodded in response, snuggling into Georgiana’s arms.

Georgiana refrained from asking if she’d had a bad dream, not wanting to revive unpleasant memories.

Peeking into Angela’s room through the open door, Georgiana noticed that the maid who was supposed to be watching over her was nowhere in sight. A dedicated maid had supposedly been assigned to Angela, so where had she gone?

Frowning slightly so Angela wouldn’t see, Georgiana asked softly, “Would you like to stay with me if it’s hard to sleep alone?”

Angela hesitated briefly before nodding again.

Though it was still too early for her to sleep, Georgiana didn’t mind indulging the little angel. She carried Angela back to her bedroom.

Laying her gently on the inside of the bed, Angela seemed even smaller in the otherwise empty space.

Though she was a princess with everything she could want, at that moment, she looked like a tiny, vulnerable baby, and Georgiana’s heart ached for her.

To make her more comfortable, Georgiana loosened the ribbon around Angela’s neck and patted her back gently.

After a few pats, Angela, who seemed to be drifting off, suddenly opened her eyes halfway and looked up at Georgiana.

“Could you sing a lullaby? I think I’d fall asleep right away if you did…”

“Well…”

Georgiana hesitated at Angela’s request.

She had no memory of Marianne ever singing her a lullaby, so she didn’t know any. Her childhood memories were vague, but even if she could remember that far back, she doubted Marianne would have sung to her.

The only times she’d sung were to match piano notes, and those instances had left her with a deep reluctance to sing. She remembered vividly—she was fifteen then, just before her family lost everything. Her tutor had sneered at her, saying, “Even birds sing louder and on key. You’d better stick to playing piano.”

Since that day, Georgiana hadn’t sung in front of anyone, not even when alone.

As she struggled to respond, Angela closed her eyes again and whispered, “It’s okay. You don’t have to sing. Just being here with me is enough.”

“No, no. It’s just that I can’t remember the lyrics. I’ll hum instead,” Georgiana said hurriedly.

Moved by Angela’s mature understanding, Georgiana felt she had to do something. She began softly humming a lullaby she’d recently heard in her dreams.

Her gentle, clear hum filled the room, crossing the bed and passing through the doorframe.

Before long, Angela’s steady breathing signaled that she’d fallen into a deep sleep. Still, Georgiana remained, lightly patting Angela’s chest and continuing to hum to ensure she wouldn’t wake.

Though she’d thought it was too early to sleep, Georgiana herself began to feel drowsy. The pleasant breeze and the warmth of the child beneath the blanket lulled her further. Her humming turned into a soft murmur, and eventually, she drifted off.

***

“I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Raymond, who had sent Evan to rest early and was now alone in the study, couldn’t focus on his work. The earlier question about his feelings for Georgiana kept replaying in his mind.

For some time, he’d been looking at the same document over and over.

He had met Georgiana fewer than ten times.

He wasn’t interested in her romantically, but he couldn’t help wondering if others might see it that way. What if rumors reached Angela and hurt her feelings?

“Should I have hired someone older, even if it meant going farther to find them?”

Yet, Georgiana was kind to Angela and provided an excellent basic education, which left a bitter taste in his mouth. Could he justify replacing such a capable governess just because she was young and beautiful?

It was too late to assign her the menial tasks she had initially requested.

Furrowing his brow in frustration, he tried to come up with a solution.

Eventually, he decided that once Angela grew older, he’d hire specialized tutors for different subjects. That would naturally reduce Georgiana’s role.

Until then, he resolved to maintain some distance, hoping to avoid any unnecessary misunderstandings.

Convinced that Georgiana had anticipated such complications from the start, given her caution, Raymond decided to carry on as they were for now.

Unable to focus on work, he realized it had been a while since he’d last seen Angela asleep. Declining the company of servants, he quietly headed to her room.

He knocked softly on the door to avoid startling the maid but received no response.

Knocking again, he opened the door and stepped inside.

The room faintly smelled of warm milk, likely thanks to Georgiana’s suggestion that Angela drink it before bed.

His tense expression softened into a warm smile.

However, upon looking around, his head tilted in confusion.

Neither the maid nor Angela was in the room, and the bed by the window was empty.

Had Angela gone for an evening stroll? Veronica had often taken her on such walks.

Thinking he’d return later, he turned to leave but noticed the connecting door to Georgiana’s room wide open. That door had once led to a playroom shared by Angela and Veronica.

Would Georgiana be absent, too?

Normally, he wouldn’t enter a lady’s room uninvited, but the open door piqued his curiosity. With Angela missing, he had enough of an excuse to look inside.

Making his footsteps deliberately loud enough to announce his presence, he approached the door. The closer he got, the softer Georgiana’s voice became.

She hadn’t gone anywhere.

“Ahem.”

Clearing his throat softly, he peeked inside, only to freeze momentarily.

It felt as though his heart had dropped into an endless void.

Georgiana, half-asleep, was gently humming while patting Angela’s back. The tender, loving scene reminded him so much of Veronica that he momentarily mistook Georgiana for her.

“Raymond, Angela is truly an angel. I still can’t believe such a child came from me.”

His late wife’s nightly whispers echoed in his mind like a haunting melody.

For the first time in months, the ache he thought he’d forgotten spread through his chest.

Eyes glistening with tears, Raymond turned and left in a hurry.