If You're Going to Sell Yourself, Sell It to Me - Chapter 38

Lockwood gently parted her closed thighs with his knee, positioning himself between them. Supporting himself with one arm, he used the other to lift Georgiana’s head. Her hair, cut unevenly, lay scattered across the bed sheets, making her delicate features stand out even more. Beneath her brown locks, a hint of blonde hair peeked through, about the length of a fingertip.

Recently, while chatting at the club, he had come across an interesting bit of information—apparently, one could strip hair dye using beer or certain types of alcohol. It was said that spies, who frequently changed their hair color, would sometimes have their hair checked this way.

If that were true, Lockwood found himself wishing he could restore Georgiana’s hair to its original state. Although her brown hair suited her, he believed that her blonde locks would better complement her delicate face.

She didn’t seem convinced, but he was certain that the memory she described—of the sinking ship—was her real past. Georgiana wasn’t just beautiful; she was inherently kind and graceful. He had always thought it impossible that someone as noble as her could be related to such vile parents and siblings. He was confident that her memories were based on truth.

Lockwood began to wonder if Georgiana had been the only one who safely escaped from the sinking ship, hidden inside a bag. If the tide had carried her to the shore, where she was found by her current family, it would explain a lot of the peculiarities that had puzzled him about her life.

He made a silent vow to send someone to investigate as soon as they arrived, to check for any shipwrecks during Georgiana’s childhood. If there had been any nobles on board, it wouldn’t be difficult to uncover the truth quickly. There couldn’t have been many such disasters.

This was the path Lockwood believed would atone for what he had done to her. After all, he had used her for his own gain, just like Willow had.

As he watched Georgiana suffer on the ship for several days, Lockwood was filled with regret. He hadn’t slept for nights, tormented by the sight of her bruised abdomen, wishing he had either sailed alone or persuaded her more strongly.

Though he couldn’t apologize for his past mistakes while tending to her unconscious state, he vowed to treat her better than anyone once she woke up.

However, that determination had slipped away when he saw her naked, bathing. He had fallen asleep without realizing it, only to wake up to find her bed empty.

At first, he thought he had fallen asleep in a different room, but her lingering scent on the bed made it clear she had only just left. Lockwood had learned, from days spent wiping her down, that a person’s body could carry a natural fragrance without the use of perfume. Although all he had done was clean her with a damp cloth, she always exuded a subtle floral scent.

Thinking back, he had noticed the same scent when they first met at the art shop and again in the cramped theater. Though he usually despised artificial scents, hers had always stopped him in his tracks. That’s why he had ended up watching the ballet from behind that pillar—it was the only place where he felt he could breathe freely.

Worried that she had left the bed without fully recovering, Lockwood hurried to find her. She was bound to overexert herself if she wandered around in such a fragile state.

He immediately noticed that she wasn’t in the living room. The scent seemed to lead toward the bathroom, but there were no sounds coming from inside.

“Where on earth has she gone…?”

Still, thinking there might be some clue, he flung the door open—only to be met with the sight of Georgiana, naked in the bath.

Although he had vaguely seen her body before when undressing her to tend to her injuries, this was the first time he had seen her so clearly. Her porcelain-white skin, wet and glistening, left him momentarily breathless.

His gaze traveled from her serene, wet face down her slender neck, following the droplets of water that cascaded over her delicate collarbone and along her small, straight shoulders. Below her prominent clavicle, her soft, round breasts rose beautifully, looking so unrealistically perfect that they took his breath away. The soft pink nipples, which looked as if they would drip with sweet juice if bitten, were more enticing than anything he had ever tasted, making him gulp.

A sudden rush of blood surged downward, leaving him painfully aroused.

Tearing his gaze away from her chest, he let his eyes wander down her narrow waist, over her soft, rounded hips, and down to the patch of golden curls nestled between her slender thighs.

At that moment, a stream of water slid down her flat belly, wetting the golden curls. His resolve to behave like a gentleman evaporated like steam.

He had always thought of hunting as a pastime for the rich and bored, but at that moment, he wished he were a hunter. If he had been, he would have devoured his prey in one bite.

Still, he stood there like an idiot, staring at her, until Georgiana, startled, sunk deeper into the bath to cover herself. Only when the water splashed onto his face did his scattered wits return.

Panicked, he hurriedly removed his shoes and fled the room.

Heat surged to his face as he left. He had planned to leave the cabin entirely, but as he reached the door, he reconsidered. He knew he would have to face her again eventually, so it was best to apologize properly now.

‘Should I say, ‘I’m sorry for my rudeness’? Or should I lie and say, ‘Don’t worry, the steam made it hard to see anything clearly’?’

He agonized over the words, but none of the options seemed to capture his true feelings.

By the time Georgiana finally came out, fully dressed, the moment for a proper apology had passed. His attempt to apologize ended awkwardly, with him brusquely saying, “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

Though that response had seemed like the best option at the time, since that day, he couldn’t shake the feeling that Georgiana was more wary of him than before. Conversations between them on deck felt strangely off-kilter as well.

Ninety percent of the reason was probably because of himself.

Lockwood still hadn’t figured out how to deal with Georgiana. When he thought about his mission and her safety, he knew it would be better to keep his distance. But guilt and the feelings he had for her kept pulling him back, leading him to offer awkward gestures of kindness.

Even he found his own hot-and-cold behavior irritating, but Georgiana’s every word and action made his mind whirl.

His normally clear, black-and-white reasoning was now clouded by complex emotions. For the first time, his logical mind was overwhelmed by feelings he didn’t know how to process. But he didn’t have much time to sort it all out.

He recalled a conversation with Henry from a few days ago:

“Captain, we’re about a week away from Pelia Port. We’ll dock there for a day, and after another week at sea, we’ll arrive at Northwest, marking the end of our journey.”

The lieutenant’s expression was brighter than ever, thanks to the valuable information brought back from Edmund’s cabin. Edmund hadn’t shown any signs of searching the ship or looking for the missing documents, meaning their infiltration had been a complete success.

“And Kyle? He’s meeting us at Pelia, right?”

“Yes. Once we give him the information, he’ll take the speedboat and head to Northwest ahead of us.”

Unless new orders came in Pelia, Lockwood’s duties aboard the ship would be over. Kyle would be taking the crucial information back to the homeland, and though it was a tight schedule, Lockwood had to remain unnoticed by Edmund until they reached the final destination.

There was an option to leave with Kyle, but if Edmund grew suspicious, it could ruin the entire operation. Lockwood had to stay aboard until they reached Northwest to ensure everything went smoothly.

Until then, he had a bit of time to relax. And naturally, one person came to mind as someone he wanted to spend that time with.

“There shouldn’t be any issues, right?”

“If there were, Kyle would’ve sent word.”

“That’s true. By the way…”

Henry, who had been nodding along, suddenly hesitated, casting a nervous glance at Lockwood. He seemed to have something on his mind, but was clearly reluctant to bring it up.

After watching Henry pace in circles a few times, Lockwood finally snapped. “What is it, Henry? Just say it.”

“Ah, no, it’s nothing.”

“Out with it.”

“Well, um…”

Henry stammered, trying to back out of the conversation.

“Lieutenant Henry Marker, are you refusing to follow the captain’s orders? Seems like your discipline’s been slipping since we’ve been away from the unit. Looks like I’ll need to triple your training sessions when we get back.”

At that, Henry turned pale and reluctantly opened his mouth. “What… what do you plan to do about Miss Georgiana? Are you really going to give her the money and end things as promised?”