Dirty Heart - Chapter 19

“How have you been feeling lately?”

The physician who finished the examination wore a more cautious expression than usual. It was only a routine checkup, but Lionel’s face looked far more sunken than before.

“It feels strange.”

“Strange… in what way?”

After a brief silence, Lionel murmured in a low voice, “It’s like my heart keeps tingling.”

“Let me listen again.”

The physician placed the stethoscope against Lionel’s chest and listened carefully to his heartbeat.

“Well… I don’t detect anything unusual.”

After examining him thoroughly from several angles and finding no clear abnormalities, the physician continued questioning him.

“Could you describe your symptoms in more detail?”

“It’s hard to explain… but I can’t stand seeing someone cry. My heart aches when I see it. It’s unpleasant.”

More precisely, these symptoms appeared whenever he saw Courtney in pain. But he couldn’t openly confess everything, so he referred to her vaguely as “someone.”

“Are there any other symptoms?”

“I’ve been more irritable lately. Even trivial things anger me. Sometimes I feel like killing everyone.”

For example, when he saw that brat kissing Courtney’s cheek. Or when he saw Courtney smiling warmly as she stroked the child’s head. Just recalling those moments made his heartbeat grow irregular again.

‘Why does she pity that sly little brat so much? It’s ridiculous.’

Unable to suppress the surge of anger rising inside him, Lionel clenched both fists tightly.

“Hm….”

The physician lowered the stethoscope in surprise as he detected the sudden change in Lionel’s heartbeat.

“That’s not all. I can’t sleep properly. Even when I sit absentmindedly all day, my heart suddenly starts pounding like it’s gone mad.”

“Can you tell me when these symptoms first began?”

“To be precise….”

Lionel trailed off. Most of the symptoms were related to Courtney, but he couldn’t bring himself to admit it. He didn’t want to acknowledge it either.

“In my opinion, it seems your heart simply can’t endure any longer.”

In truth, the fact that such a fragile heart had endured this long was already close to a miracle. The medical staff once predicted he wouldn’t live past the age of two.

“For now, I will increase your medication dosage. Avoid exertion and rest as much as possible.”

The physician paused while writing his notes and looked directly at Lionel.

“Young Duke… have you perhaps found a woman you love?”

Lionel’s eyebrows shot up nervously. He snorted, as if at the absurdity of the question.

“Forgive me, but your words sound very much like those of a man harboring romantic feelings. Such symptoms often stem from emotional factors, you see.”

“Love? That’s ridiculous.”

Despite his firm denial, the physician only smiled gently.

“There is nothing impossible about it. You are a grown man now.”

Having been the Young Duke’s personal physician since childhood, he found the rich tapestry of emotions Lionel was experiencing nothing but welcome.

Ever since the Duchess passed away, Lionel built an impenetrable wall around himself and shut himself off from the world.

He grew up knowing only anger and sorrow, never experiencing the full range of human emotion. Seeing him now encounter unfamiliar feelings was, to the physician, a deeply reassuring sign.

“Love is a natural emotion that all humans experience. There is absolutely nothing for you to be ashamed of.”

“…Hearing you speak such nonsense repeatedly makes me think it’s time to replace my physician.”

Lionel replied coldly, but he couldn’t hide the reddening tips of his ears. Watching that boyish reaction, the physician only strengthened his resolve.

“Once you receive a new heart transplant, you will be able to love even more freely. I, too, will do everything in my power to ensure that happens.”

***

A week passed since Liam left.

During that time, Courtney never stepped outside the servants’ quarters even once. She spent her days lying in bed and occasionally staring out the window. That was the extent of her routine.

The so-called “Dirty Heart” project, her determination to survive… everything collapsed completely.

‘I’m going to die anyway… so why struggle?’

Even her plan to stab Lionel in the back felt like nothing more than a distant dream. Wouldn’t it be easier to simply accept her fate and die? Even such dangerous thoughts began to take root.

It had been a long time since she abandoned her maid duties. Washing dishes, cleaning, laundry… if it were before, the head maid would have rushed in immediately and slapped her. But these days, no one came looking for Courtney.

Meanwhile, Bailey watched Courtney’s idle behavior with undisguised envy.

“Courtney, you really are lucky. Getting paid regularly while doing nothing but staying in your room all day….”

At Bailey’s sincere envy, a bitter smile formed on Courtney’s lips.

“Then you can die in my place.”

“Huh? What did you say?”

“…Nothing. And there’s nothing to envy. Everything comes with a price.”

Since the incident with Liam, Lionel hadn’t visited her even once. Back when she suddenly declared their breakup, he tormented her relentlessly, appearing at all hours. But now, he’d gone completely silent.

Well, she did call him a monster directly to his face. Perhaps his pride was wounded.

Just as she thought she’d rather be forgotten forever in Lionel’s memory,

“Ugh!”

Her heart began to throb violently, as if rebelling. It felt like someone was grabbing her heart, tearing it out, and twisting it mercilessly.

‘Here we go again….’

Frowning deeply, she clutched her chest tightly.

“Aaaah!”

Courtney was the one writhing in pain, yet the scream came from Bailey.

Standing by the window, Bailey had turned deathly pale, as if she had seen something unspeakably horrific. Soon, a familiar name escaped her lips.

“Vicky… Vicky….”

“What…? What happened?”

Suppressing the pain, Courtney approached Bailey and asked. Together with the sound of cawing crows, the metallic stench of blood drifted into the quarters.

“…!”

The moment she looked outside the window, her breath caught in her throat. Vicky’s severed head hung from a wooden stake in the courtyard, dangling like a grotesque ornament.

Caw, caw-.

As if waiting for this moment, the flock of crows circling overhead swooped down toward the corpse. As their hideous beaks mercilessly pecked and swallowed the sunken eyes, the stench of blood grew even thicker.

“Ugh…!”

Overcome by a sudden wave of nausea, she hurriedly covered her mouth. Having eaten almost nothing, only clear gastric fluid flowed up her throat.

“S-sorry, Courtney. If I switch it out carelessly and get caught, I’ll really die…!”

Vicky’s pitiful voice echoed in her mind, and immediately the side effect report came to mind. There was no doubt the Duke of Erhardt had realized the report was missing. She had been careless, thinking that among such an enormous volume of materials, no one would notice a single document disappearing.

‘But why Vicky…?’

Courtney bit her lip hard, forcing herself to think as rationally as possible.

There was no chance the duke failed to guess the culprit. The guard who stood watch over the study would have testified, and her signature remained clearly recorded in the entry log.

Even so, instead of reprimanding Courtney directly, the duke chose Vicky as a scapegoat. Just like the head maid’s death, it was an unmistakable warning. A silent message telling her to stop meddling any further.

‘There’s no time….’

Just moments ago, she’d wondered whether it might be easier to simply wait for death.

But death had never felt this real before. Not even when she was locked in the dungeon did she feel such suffocating pressure, as if death stood right before her eyes.

The moment she realized that the grotesque corpse hanging from the stake might soon become her own future, cold sweat ran down her spine.

“….”

A fierce determination ignited in the eyes of the woman who had felt nothing but helplessness until now. Only after facing such a desperate situation did her will to survive finally flare up again.

“Courtney, where are you going!”

Bailey’s urgent voice rang out from behind her, but Courtney didn’t even bother to respond. Shoving her feet hastily into her shoes, she flung open the door of the quarters and rushed outside.