Deceived, Yet Drawn to You - Chapter 20

“Do you think I want this engagement? What was I supposed to do when my father told me to meet her just once? You know you’re the only one for me, my Nicole….”

So these were the very man and woman who’d been secretly carrying on an affair at the first banquet, the one where Isaac never appeared.

“If you say I’m the only one, then how could you do something like that? How could you put a ring on that woman’s finger right in front of me?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t have a choice because of my father…. Hah…. Besides, as you said, I let that woman choose the ring, and we even went on trips together during that time. Calm down. Once I’m married, I’ll be busier than I am now….”

“Marriage, marriage…. I don’t want to hear it…. A woman with no charm… that woman is definitely boring even in bed.”

“I agree, Nicole. Unless I need to fulfill my duty, I won’t touch that little miss at all. You’re the only one for me for life, Nicoletta….”

“Liar, get away…. Didn’t you have dinner with an opera singer not long ago too, huh?”

With that vulgar exchange, the sound of bodies colliding rapidly followed, something she didn’t even want to know about. Mixed with moans, the noise was so revolting it made her feel like she might vomit at any moment.

The blood throughout her body turned icy cold. Stunned, Blair slowly stumbled backward. Then she ended up burying herself against Edmund’s chest, who had been standing behind her the whole time. He enclosed her within his solid warmth and looked down at her with steady eyes.

…Right. She wasn’t alone right now. Only after realizing that a beat late did shame wash over her, and her legs trembled faintly beneath her dress. Blair let out a hollow breath. If Edmund hadn’t caught her arm, she might have fallen in a ridiculous heap and exposed herself to her fiancé and his mistress beyond the door.

‘They’re the ones who did wrong, so why am I the one holding my breath in fear of being discovered?’

Still, Blair wasn’t shameless enough to burst through the door and reveal herself before her fiancé, entwined with another woman. Swallowing hard, she pulled away from Edmund’s embrace. She turned back with unsteady steps, her face drained of color. It felt as though she’d been splattered with filth.

“Lady Twyford, please wait a moment.”

She’d never loved a man like Isaac Dorman, so there was no heartbreak from betrayal. It had been an engagement she herself hadn’t wanted. She’d endured it out of nothing but a sense of duty. But if even that had been tainted by such immorality, what was she supposed to do now?

“Blair!”

Her ghostlike steps were halted as strong hands gripped her shoulders. Gasping for breath, she looked up at Edmund. She slowly closed her eyes, then opened them again, and her blurred vision gradually came back into focus.

Edmund stared at the dazed Blair for a moment, then let out a sigh and spoke in a lowered voice, “I know you’re shocked, but it would be best to collect yourself first and then return to the banquet hall.”

“…I don’t want to go back.”

“Then are you going to keep wandering the corridors? Come here. I’ll get you a glass of water, so sit here for a moment.”

“I don’t want to.”

Perhaps the repeated refusals struck him as strange. Edmund started to move, then stopped and looked at her with a furrowed brow. Blair’s lips, frozen stiff, began to tremble. The heart she’d kept tightly locked burst open all at once, words spilling out like gunfire.

“I don’t want to get married. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore… I don’t want this. I really don’t want this….”

Blair panted as if she’d just clawed her way out of deep water. Her breathing was ragged, her breath rising all the way to her chin. Even so, once her true feelings burst out, there was no stopping them, and they spilled from between her lips without pause.

To avoid disappointing her father, to protect and honor her family, and above all, to prove that she herself was a good woman, she’d endured everything while pretending she was fine, pretending she could handle it.

But all of that was a false mask. From the beginning, no one had cared about what she truly felt.

“Honestly, I never wanted to marry a man like that in the first place. If it were possible, I’d do anything to avoid it.”

“….”

“…I want to break off the engagement.”

The moment Blair finished speaking in a trembling voice, silence fell. The night beyond the window was pitch dark, unusually quiet, making the silence between them feel even heavier.

Thoughts gain strength the more they’re given voice. Only after laying her heart bare did Blair realize she’d crossed a river she could never return from. Biting her lip, she couldn’t bring herself to continue and lowered her head quietly.

She kept her gaze down, staring blankly at the engagement ring binding her left ring finger. Not only had she harbored feelings that completely went against her father’s will, but she’d poured them out without holding anything back to a man who, until recently, had been a complete stranger. It was something her former self could never have imagined doing.

“Blair.”

Blair, who’d been fiddling with the cumbersome ring, lifted her head. Edmund was now standing so close that she could feel his breath. His ash gray eyes, touched by moonlight, seemed to hold an unusual gleam. Looking at her with that strange gaze, Edmund asked, “What you just said… did you mean it?”

“…How could it not be sincere…?”

“Wasn’t it just a momentary reaction brought on by witnessing your fiancé’s infidelity?”

“Absolutely not.”

What she’d just seen might have been nothing more than a fuse. In truth, it was her will, suppressed for so long, finally finding a voice. Everyone who’d urged her to marry Isaac Dorman seemed ridiculous. Isaac Dorman, who’d wanted to marry her while keeping a mistress hidden away, was downright repulsive. Even her father, who’d spoken of the need for a proper lady of the house, felt contemptible.

When her thoughts reached that point, Blair suddenly let out a self-mocking laugh.

“…But what can I do now? There’s nothing I can do.”

A familiar sense of helplessness cast a dark shadow over her. This despair too must have come from being locked for far too long in a prison called obedience.

She didn’t dare defy her father’s command, and her marriage was tangled up with complicated interests between families. With no financial independence, she couldn’t simply break it off or undo it on her own. Not even if she told her father or the Dorman family about Isaac’s immoral behavior.

“…I’m sorry. I keep causing you trouble.”

Blair murmured emptily and pressed her hand to her forehead. Deep fatigue and a headache washed over her, and yet, as he’d said, she needed to regain her composure and slowly return to the banquet hall.

“What would you do if there were a way?”

As Blair struggled to steady her emotions, her wrist was suddenly seized. She looked up at Edmund with startled eyes. She couldn’t tell whether it was because of his unexpected words, or the firm grip encircling her wrist.

“A way… what do you mean?”

“I think your resolve matters more than anything, Lady Twyford. That’s why I’m asking. If there were a way to break off your engagement to Isaac, do you have the will to push it through?”

Her heart pounded. As she alternated her gaze between the man’s two eyes, which were difficult to read, Blair was seized by doubt.

What on earth is this man thinking?

“And if I do have that will?”

“I’d like to make a proposal. Right now isn’t the right time or place, so I think it would be better to set a proper appointment.”

Blair, who had been fidgeting her ice cold fingers, lowered her gaze for a moment. Then she met his eyes again and asked back in a trembling voice, “Can we really talk about that?”

“Of course.”

Edmund lowered his voice gently and nodded. His oddly composed demeanor stood in stark contrast to Blair’s bloodless, pale complexion.

“Come to the Regent Central Bank tomorrow evening at five. Even after business hours, there’s a separate space reserved for distinguished guests, so we can talk properly somewhere quiet.”