Deceived, Yet Drawn to You - Chapter 13

“….”

“If it makes you uncomfortable, of course you may refuse.”

He said that and then waited calmly for Blair’s response. Even if she rejected him coldly, his relaxed expression suggested it wouldn’t deal him even the slightest blow. After a brief silence, Blair nodded.

“Then… would you guide me?”

“Of course. This way, please.”

Edmund took Blair’s candlestick and smoothly offered his arm. She lightly placed her hand on it and accepted his escort. She had to make an effort not to be conscious of the firm arm beneath the fabric and the warmth of his body.

Edmund led Blair down the corridor to the left, where there were no signs of other people. When they reached the door at the end of the passage, marked ‘Members Only,’ he grasped the handle and pushed it open.

Blair stepped inside first and looked around the quiet space. Just as Edmund said, it appeared to be an unused study. One wall was filled with books, and there was a small sofa and a desk. Moonlight streamed in through a small window, illuminating dust motes floating in the air, but overall, it was neat and seemed like a decent place to pass the time.

…If only her companion weren’t somewhat uncomfortable.

At the sound of the study door closing with a click, Blair turned around. As Edmund set the candlestick, wax half melted down its side, onto the desk, he met her eyes.

“You may relax here. Hardly anyone comes to this place.”

“I see.”

“If you’re uneasy, shall I lock the door?”

Blair stared at Edmund with eyes that had widened slightly. Wouldn’t that seem even more suspicious?

“Wouldn’t that make it seem too suspicious?”

“This is a place with little foot traffic to begin with. If someone does come and finds the door locked, they’ll turn back on their own.”

“And what if they suspect we’re doing something improper because of that?”

“Isn’t Miss Twyford’s imagination running a bit wild?”

When he asked with a faint chuckle, Blair’s face flushed red, feeling as though her thoughts had been laid bare. She didn’t know how to respond. She’d always believed she was good at restraining her emotions, but lately, that confidence had been shaken more often than not.

“On the contrary, it might look even more suspicious if we don’t lock it.”

When Edmund added that with a thoughtful look, Blair couldn’t help but ask.

“Why is that?”

“Imagine being discovered alone together in a dark room with no lights on. Isn’t that unsettling?”

It truly was. And what if it were her fiancé, Isaac, who discovered them? Blair shut her eyes tightly without thinking.

“…I suppose we should lock the door.”

“I agree.”

As if he’d received her request, Edmund obediently locked the study door. Click, and then he walked calmly back inside.

“Please, have a seat. Two hours isn’t exactly a short amount of time.”

Edmund pulled the small sofa in front of the bookcase toward her with one hand. He himself sat across from her with a small table between them, crossing his legs in a relaxed posture. Blair settled primly onto the sofa and looked at him.

Aspects of him she hadn’t easily noticed when choosing jewelry now drew her attention. The shape of the muscles visible beneath his thin shirt, the subtle scent he gave off that spread through the air.

Only then did Blair fully realize it. She was alone in an enclosed space with a man.

Did he feel something similar? His expression was difficult to read, so she couldn’t tell.

“I didn’t expect to see you again here.”

She spoke first, uncomfortable with the silence. Edmund nodded readily in agreement.

“It’s happening often enough that it hardly feels like a coincidence.”

“This works out well. I wanted to thank you properly.”

Only now that they were finally alone did Blair find the chance to express her gratitude. She spoke again, her manner belatedly formal.

“Thank you very much for showing me kindness not once, but twice.”

Edmund let out a low laugh. His expression suggested he found Blair’s words amusing, delivered as they were with the propriety of a well-bred young lady.

“I don’t think it was anything worth such gratitude, but hearing you say that makes me start expecting some sort of repayment.”

“Repayment?”

Exactly what kind…? Blair tilted her head, not quite understanding. The man’s eyes, lowered toward her, resembled the color of a faded sky. Like the dark storm clouds that blanket an entire city during the rainy season.

“How about sharing a cup of tea sometime?”

“…Ah, so that’s the kind of repayment you meant.”

“Does that not appeal to you?”

“No, of course not. It’s not that. It’s just….”

Blair couldn’t answer right away. She’d received his help in one form or another, and if possible, she wanted to repay that kindness. That was the propriety she knew.

“I see. You’re uncomfortable spending time alone with another man when you’re about to be married.”

That was exactly it. And yet they were already alone together like this, with the door locked.

“Well then, even suggesting tea in a quiet place becomes something to be cautious about.”

“Do you wish to meet me somewhere out of sight?”

After being silent for some time, Blair asked calmly. Edmund, who’d been wearing a playful smile, fell quiet. This time, it was he who seemed lost in thought, gazing steadily at Blair with eyes darkened like shadows.

“That wouldn’t be so bad either.”

Then Edmund returned with a face cleared of its dangerous shading and continued in a gentle voice.

“You don’t run away even after hearing my name.”

“Is there a reason I should?”

“There’s a rumor that I can’t keep my hands to myself when it comes to beautiful women, that I’ve fathered more than ten illegitimate children.”

The provocative tone sounded like he was testing her, or perhaps loathing himself. Blair was all too familiar with that kind of mindset.

“I’ve heard things about you as well, but I don’t think it’s right to judge someone without experiencing them firsthand.”

She didn’t want to pass judgment based solely on uncertain rumors. Blair knew better than anyone that the truth could be completely different from public reputation. It came from experience.

Because of a mother who’d run away in the dead of night with a lowly servant, leaving her husband behind, how many misunderstandings had Blair endured throughout her life? People pointed fingers, saying that since she’d inherited licentious blood, the daughter would be no different.

Having lived through that kind of cruel disregard and prejudice herself, wasn’t it only right that she refrain from judging others based on rumors alone?

Edmund looked at Blair in silence. His gaze was deep and steady, as if weighing the long unspoken words she hadn’t voiced aloud. Meeting that unwavering stare, Blair steadied her breathing.

“Most people just accept what others say and let themselves be swept along. It’s easier that way, and more entertaining.”

“….”

“So you’re someone who judges for yourself.”

Those words sank deeply into Blair’s chest. Had anyone ever acknowledged her like that before? It was different from the praise she’d received from her father when she displayed virtue. That had always been a form she’d been molded into, shaped to fit his ideals.

“Still, you must be quite busy preparing for your wedding.”

The wedding. The moment she heard that unwelcome word, her mood sank. It felt as though the jewel ring that hadn’t even been made yet was pressing down on her shoulders.

“Not necessarily. It still doesn’t quite feel real yet.”

“Has the date been set?”

“Yes. It’s scheduled for the first weekend of next month.”

It was said the ceremony would be held when the lingering chill of spring reached its peak. The diamond gemstone that once felt small now seemed to have turned into a stone pressing down on her chest.

“You don’t look at ease.”

The man’s voice was unusually low, its tone gentle. Perhaps because of that, he gave the impression of a composed adult. Enough that she felt tempted to confide the thoughts she couldn’t tell anyone else.

“I’m not the only bride who feels unsettled before her wedding. It’s just that so many things have happened recently, and my heart hasn’t been able to keep up.”

Blair fidgeted with the fingers neatly resting on her lap, then stopped. That was too honest. Realizing it belatedly, she looked toward Edmund. As if he’d been watching her all along, their eyes met at once.

“I’m sorry. I ended up burdening you with pointless talk because I felt stifled.”

“Have you ever considered breaking off the engagement?”