Beneath the Surviving Princess's Joyful Facade - Chapter 148

Time passed, and summer arrived. Yet, there was no sign that the war would end soon.

In the meantime, only seven reports had been sent from the Cladis region to the central area via carrier pigeon. Even those reports had become less frequent.

“……”

Miesa took out the last report she had received a week ago and read it again. The message only contained dry details of a few minor battles, stating that the Esquillir army had both won and lost.

Well, if they were sending messages on bird legs, the paper had to be small and thin. It must be difficult for Eirik to send her personal letters.

Miesa didn’t express her longing for him outwardly. Instead, she kept herself busy, intentionally finding tasks to occupy her time.

State affairs could function without the queen’s intervention, but once one decided to delve into them, there was no end to the work. This was a blessing in disguise.

As a result, the officials found themselves working harder than ever before, forced into diligence. Even the usual banquets and social gatherings among the nobility in the capital had all but ceased. While the nobles of the capital might not consider the war on the frontier their own concern, they were at least keenly aware of the situation, having survived Vermel’s tyranny.

Thus, rumors spread among the people that the new queen was strictly governing the nobles and keeping them in check.

At first, people were skeptical of the unseen and unheard-of princess who had ascended the throne. However, the grand festival held immediately after her coronation had showcased the queen’s benevolence. Then, when trouble arose on the borders, she quickly sent the Margrave of Cladnier to deal with it, demonstrating her decisiveness.

Finally, the tireless manner in which she handled state affairs day and night, controlling the nobles, cemented her reputation. Naturally, people began to loudly praise her name.

However, while the queen showed a composed and resolute face during the day, by nightfall, she reverted to childlike behavior. Because of this, Gella had to sit by her bedside every night and read the story of “The White Bird.”

“Your Majesty, aren’t you curious about the pictures in the book?”

“…I suppose.”

By now, Miesa was unfazed by the glimpses of the bird’s image that Gella unintentionally revealed as she shifted her posture. Lying in bed, Miesa sat up and reached out. “Let me see it.”

Gella handed her the picture book with a polite gesture. Miesa squinted as she examined the vague outline of the bird.

“It’s not as bad as I thought…”

“Isn’t it cute?”

“It’s… not bad.”

Miesa slowly opened her eyes wide to get a better look. The little white bird, round and fluffy like a ball of yarn, had a small beak and shiny black eyes that were quite charming.

Well, baby animals are always cute, aren’t they? Miesa pouted slightly as she turned the cover. She couldn’t help feeling that it would have been nicer if he had been the one reading to her.

Inside the book was the familiar story she had memorized down to the last word, now illustrated with beautiful pictures.

The little bird goes on an adventure, befriends a kitten, and faces some unexpected challenges. However, perhaps because of the short production time, the bird overcomes everything within eight pages and lives happily ever after.

No matter how it’s framed as a fairy tale, how could a bird become friends with a cat? Still pouting at the image, Miesa suddenly felt tears fall from her eyes.

“Y-Your Majesty?” Gella, startled, sat up.

But Miesa waved her hand as if nothing had happened. “It’s fine. I sometimes react like this when I see birds.”

“Shall I put it away if it scares you?”

“Well…”

Strangely, it wasn’t as frightening as she expected. In fact, she could breathe perfectly fine and speak clearly.

I’m not scared, so why am I crying? Miesa wiped her eyes with the handkerchief Gella hurriedly handed her.

Yet, once the tears had started, they wouldn’t stop. Whether during council meetings or at meals, the queen’s sudden tears cast a somber mood over the central palace.

The queen’s frequent tears also left Duke Salachez anxious. He had no idea why Her Majesty, who had been managing so well, had suddenly begun to act this way.

It had become harder for Duke Salachez to meet the queen’s gaze, unlike before.

Perhaps it was after he overheard her speaking to herself late at night. No, it was probably after being sent away by Tilberg that things became even more difficult.

Why couldn’t he look her in the eyes? Salachez had a simple answer for himself. He respected and revered the queen so much as a person that witnessing her in a vulnerable state was unbearable.

Salachez felt no guilt, either to himself or to the Margrave. Not even when he finally asked the question he had been holding back as she stared out the window.

“Your Majesty, are you feeling lonely?”

“Lonely? What is that?”

But when their eyes met, and the queen looked at him with such a clear, innocent expression, Salachez’s heart wavered.

The queen of an entire nation had given her heart so completely to the man who was supposed to merely be by her side. Now, she cried every day because of it. Her pale, forlorn face made him feel sorry for her, but then his heart started to beat in a strange way.

Eirik Cladnier. That man, aristocratic to his core, had everything. Birthright, honor, and the complete love of a woman.

“That is…”

Salachez took a deep breath. If that man had managed to win her heart, then didn’t he also have a chance?

A growing feeling began to stir within him. Whether it was jealousy toward the Margrave who had everything or resentment toward the man who had monopolized her love, Salachez couldn’t quite tell. But he continued to speak, his words taking on a life of their own.

“Loneliness… When someone close to you leaves, that’s the feeling it evokes. You two were always so close.”

In the circles of commoners he had once frequented, it was often the case that couples who had been especially close would remarry soon after their spouse’s death. The loneliness was too much for them to bear alone.

So, if the queen couldn’t bear the loneliness and needed someone, he would gladly fill that role for her.

Salachez had already decided to misuse the name of loyalty for his own gain. Whether it stemmed from a twisted inferiority complex toward Eirik Cladnier or from a warped devotion to the queen, he wasn’t sure, but he pressed on.

“So, Your Majesty, if you’re feeling lonely…”

“Is loneliness the feeling of being suffocated, as though drowning, even when you’re not underwater?”

“Pardon?”

When Salachez didn’t quite understand her, the queen continued in a calm voice, “The colors of the world have turned gray, and everything that once held meaning to me is now insignificant. The fears I once constantly battled have become irrelevant.”

Salachez was left speechless. The queen’s voice remained steady as she asked again, “My chest aches, as though stabbed with ice, yet I must endure today and tomorrow so that, one day, I can see him again. That’s why I force myself to smile and bear the pain. Is that what loneliness feels like?”

“No, that’s not… That’s not what I meant.”

Flustered, Salachez shook his head, but the queen simply turned back to the window, muttering to herself.

“If that’s the case, then I’m not lonely.”

“……”

Salachez’s face turned beet red. Without realizing it, he fled the office.

There was never a place for him between those two. Realizing this left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He never fought battles he knew he couldn’t win. That had always been the secret to his survival.

With a sigh, Salachez donned his usual irritable expression and walked down the corridor, his fiery red hair swaying. Tomorrow, he would ask Madam Manere to find a bride for him from a struggling noble family.

***