Beneath the Surviving Princess's Joyful Facade - Chapter 143

Why did such things only happen to her? Why was her life, already so parched and brittle, not even allowed a brief respite?

Eirik collapsed onto her, resting his head against her shoulder. Her shoulders, so slender and fragile, made her seem all the more pitiable.

Miesa rolled her eyes in confusion, unsure of what to do. As Eirik remained lying against her, his face close to her heart, she nervously twitched her fingers, feeling the warmth of his breath against her skin.

“Hm… This feels nice, really nice, but I don’t think tonight is the right time.”

He didn’t respond. Miesa, shifting slightly in discomfort, offered an excuse. “You have a long journey ahead in two days, and you need to be rested. So Eirik, we should start going to bed early… right?”

Her final words were more of a question, unsure even to herself. But he remained still, his face buried in her chest, breathing heavily.

Maybe I shouldn’t have said no. Actually, I’m fine with it…

Miesa bit her lip and wiggled her toes when Eirik slowly lifted his head. But it wasn’t in the way she expected.

His face was a mess of tears. In the dim light, his dark eyes seemed to fill with more tears, overflowing and streaming down his cheeks.

Miesa was stunned into silence. The fabric where he had buried his face was soaked and cold.

“Miesa.”

Eirik called her name, his voice thick with sobs. Even as he struggled to catch his breath, his face contorted with pain.

“Eirik…?”

Miesa, at a loss for how to respond to this unfamiliar side of him, slowly sat up and reached out to touch his tear-streaked eyes. But Eirik, seeing her dry eyes even in such a moment, felt even more sorrow.

Now that he thought about it, Miesa never cried. The only time she had broken down was when she had a panic attack after encountering the bird in the greenhouse.

There was no need to ask why. She had gone through so many things in her life that tears couldn’t solve.

Eirik tried to call her name again but swallowed it back. Her name, which deserved to be spoken with a smile, couldn’t be called like this. Instead, he took a deep breath, struggling to calm down. 

Finally, he spoke, “I think this is as far as I can go.”

“Yes.”

“Once this war is over, I think I can share the responsibility with others.”

“Yes, you’ve worked too hard. It’s time for you to rest.” She forced herself to sound cheerful. “You must come back within two years. I have to live too.”

Instead of answering, he simply nodded. Then, he wrapped his arms around her slender body. Despite his fear that she might break, he held her tightly, tracing her form over and over, trying to memorize her warmth, her weight, her shape.

The next day, the former Margrave of Cladnier and his wife announced their arrival at the palace. As soon as Miesa heard the news, she rushed to the reception room and threw herself into the embrace of Madam Cladnier.

“Mother.”

“Your Majesty, didn’t we agree to stop using that title?”

“No, I won’t.”

The queen’s childish demeanor made Madam Cladnier sighed. “I had originally planned to just exchange pleasantries with my son’s wife and maintain a respectful distance, but how did things end up like this?”

“Surely, you must also oversee the handover of the family affairs,” Miesa chuckled, but the Marchioness was serious.

“That’s not necessary. The handover will be handled by the steward. Did Your Majesty manage state affairs so well because you received the handover directly from the late king?”

“Ah…”

“In any case, the new queen quickly stabilized the chaotic political situation. I keep hearing praises from all over.”

Miesa’s face flushed red with pride at Madam Cladnier’s praise. But she wasn’t the only one blushing.

“Your Majesty, my husband wishes to apologize.”

When Miesa turned her head, the former Margrave stood hesitantly, his face reddened with shame.

“I wish to apologize for my ignorance and reckless behavior, Your Majesty.”

With that, the former Margrave knelt on one knee, bowing his head. His movements were stiff, as if he was still not fully recovered.

Miesa, who had been staring blankly at him, hastily waved her hand in embarrassment. “No, no, you don’t need to. Besides, you saved both me and Mother—no, Madam Cladnier.”

“Saving one’s family is only natural. However, my failure to recognize Your Majesty’s wisdom…”

Miesa didn’t know it, but the former Margrave had once complained to his wife and son, wondering if they really needed to keep her alive. When Miesa glanced back at Eirik, who was watching from a distance, she saw his wry smile and quickly turned back to the former Margrave.

“No, but we were well taken care of, and there was no discomfort in living. So there’s no need to apologize to me.”

“But—”

The former Margrave was stunned by the unexpected reaction from the queen.

Miesa spoke firmly to the flustered former Margrave, “If it had been another family, or rather, if it hadn’t been the Cladnier family, I probably wouldn’t have survived the summer. So please, sit down.”

The queen insisted, and the former Margrave, unable to refuse, reluctantly rose and took a seat. Though his injuries were not yet fully healed, it was a miracle that he had survived that day.

Miesa, reflecting on this, asked, “Are you feeling better?”

“Yes. I may not be able to handle the front lines, but I can easily defend the rear.”

Miesa’s face hardened at his casual response, but Madam Cladnier, noticing this, pretended not to see and continued, “Your Majesty, I will also assist with supplies and support in Cladis.”

“Mother, are you going too…?”

Madam Cladnier smiled at Miesa’s flustered muttering. “Of course. They say wars are won or lost in the supply lines. I’ve been doing this for twelve years, so there won’t be any shortcomings.”

“But…”

“I’ll send letters from time to time.”

With that kind but firm statement, Miesa’s face crumpled. She managed to appear calm in front of Eirik, but she couldn’t help acting childishly in front of Madam Cladnier.

“I never thought you’d go too, Mother…”

“When this war is over, please hold a grand victory celebration. There wasn’t a proper banquet last time.”

Madam Cladnier’s cheerful tone made it difficult for Miesa to express any further weakness in front of the Cladnier family, who had grown accustomed to war. In the end, Miesa could only nod in agreement.

The day of departure arrived.

Led by Eirik Cladnier, the knights stood in formation. Their armor was well-polished, and their ranks were orderly, but Miesa, standing on the balcony, couldn’t bring herself to look at Eirik’s face.

“Your Majesty, it’s time for the opening speech.”

Even after hearing Madam Cladnier whisper beside her, Miesa stood there for a long time, staring off into the distance. She couldn’t bring herself to speak.

“Your Majesty.”

With continued urging, Miesa knew she couldn’t delay any longer.

Suppressing the turmoil in her heart, still keeping her gaze fixed on the empty sky, she spoke the words she had to say. “Sidate has dared to trample upon the goddess’s land and slaughter the sons and daughters of Esquillir. Punish those who have disturbed our peace.”

“Victory to Esquillir!”

Eirik’s shout was followed by a thunderous roar from the knights. Amidst the deafening sound, Miesa instinctively sought his face.

The sky was overcast, and the wind was biting, but as always, his face, framed by his helmet as he rode his black steed, shone as brilliantly as ever.

Despite his appearance, noble and strong like a hero from a myth, Miesa felt a sharp pain in her heart.

She didn’t know when she would see that face again. She squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she could capture his image behind her eyelids.

Thanks to Madam Cladnier’s support, Miesa was able to send Eirik off with composure and strength. But after Madam Cladnier also left for Cladis, Miesa spent her days staring blankly out the office window.

“Your Majesty, shall I summon the performers?”

“Salachez, that’s something a traitor would say.”

The idea of calling for entertainment just after sending her husband to the battlefield was preposterous to her. Miesa, who already disliked such performances, simply replied briefly and shook her head weakly. Salachez raised his voice in a feigned tone of exasperation.

“Wouldn’t it be alright just this once? No, the goddess must be heartless to give only Your Majesty such trials.”

“That’s why I dislike the goddess.”

“Oh, Your Majesty, such blasphemous words!”Salachez widened his eyes in shock and quickly covered his ears with trembling hands. “May the merciful goddess have mercy on us—”

“Doid, are you more devout than I thought?”

Salachez, relieved to have captured the queen’s attention, exaggerated his reaction even further. “Your Majesty, when you’re uncertain about something, it’s better to believe it exists, just in case.”

“Is it alright to say such things out loud? I don’t think the goddess doesn’t exist.”

“Oh, please, let our sins be hidden at the feet of the goddess…”

When Salachez raised his hands to the heavens in prayer, Gella, who had been watching from a distance, subtly joined the conversation. “Your Majesty, there’s some truth to it. If there’s someone watching over all things from above the clouds, offering a prayer can’t hurt, can it?”

“Is that so?”

Viscountess Manere, who had been silently observing from the corner, saw an opportunity and cautiously joined in. “Your Majesty, how about offering a prayer at the Grand Temple? For the kingdom’s victory and the Margrave’s safe return.”

Even Miesa, who disliked the goddess, couldn’t help but be tempted by the mention of Eirik’s safe return. She decided to visit the Grand Temple early the next morning and sent a servant ahead to notify them.