Beneath the Surviving Princess's Joyful Facade - Chapter 136

Confusion flickered across Miesa’s face. Eirik stroked her hand and continued, “I don’t want your terrible memories to be overshadowed by more death throes.”

“But Eirik, you don’t understand. Sellas dared to insult my mother and did it again and again.”

For her, those memories were still vivid. She could clearly remember how Sellas had whispered something to her mother, who sat expressionless, gripping her embroidery frame, his beard quivering as he did so.

“I thought he was just telling my mother a secret at the time. But it was all threats. How terrified she must have been at that age, just a few years older than I am now.”

Eirik silently squeezed Miesa’s hand, but she was too absorbed in recounting her memories to notice the warmth of his large hand.

“Besides, my mother was still breathing. Even until the end. But, but…!”

Miesa took a deep breath as the horrific scene flashed through her mind.

Eirik held her hand while extending his other arm to gently stroke her back. As Miesa tried to steady her breathing, she shook her head and then clung to him, pleading and trying to convince him.

“Eirik, Sellas had my mother in his filthy eyes and filled his vile heart with thoughts of her. I will exact the same revenge on him. I know that in your eyes, the way I’m thinking might be repulsive, but—”

“It’s not repulsive at all. What I dislike is that you’re spending all your mental energy on that filthy man, even if it’s for a justified grudge.”

Hearing the word “justified,” the strength in Miesa’s grip on his arm began to wane. Then, as Eirik pondered her words, he revealed his confusion.

“Wait a minute. Repulsive? Have I ever looked at you that way? Or did someone utter such nonsense in front of you?”

Miesa fell silent. The answer she couldn’t bring herself to say came from Eirik’s lips.

“Could it be that you feel that way about yourself?”

“……”

“Miesa, you mustn’t think like that. The reason I haven’t stopped you until now is that I wanted you to do whatever you wished, without worrying about anyone else. But why… why on earth are you…”

Eirik sighed and spoke in a firm tone. “Let me say this once more. I couldn’t tolerate what he did in the past, but I cannot stand to see him destroy you in the present.”

Miesa sat there, stunned. Eirik reached out to her face, gently caressing her trembling cheek as if to melt away the coldness.

“I’m not asking you to be merciful. I’m just telling you not to let such filth linger in your beautiful eyes anymore—let it go. You’ve already endured enough suffering and pain, so now it’s time to see only good things.”

“But… even when I see good things, they don’t look good to me…” Miesa gazed at Eirik’s face, her eyes unfocused.

Even when she said things that made no sense, he listened as if it were a matter of great importance. That’s how he had always been. No matter how absurd or abnormal her confessions were, he always took them seriously.

He had always been there. She realized now that she had been the one wavering. The reason he seemed indifferent was because he had been suppressing himself, and the rational decisions he made were always with her best interests at heart.

But Miesa had been anxious despite trusting him and had avoided him like a sinner fearing their judge, even as she revered him.

“…I often come to the wrong conclusions, even when I see and hear good things. I’m already so broken that I don’t know if I can live properly.”

“Don’t say such things. Those who are truly broken don’t even worry about such things.”

His firm denial gave Miesa the courage to continue.

“But I always worry about what you’re thinking deep down.”

“Then you should ask me what I’m thinking, as persistently and annoyingly as I do.”

Eirik smiled playfully, but Miesa wasn’t finished speaking.

“But Eirik, you and I are different. What will I do if you get tired of me, if one day you can’t stand me anymore?”

He looked at her with genuine disbelief. “Tired of you? Me…?”

He let out a short sigh, furrowing his brow as he spoke. “That’s not even worth answering seriously. Well, if you’re still worrying about that in thirty years, then I’ll give you a proper answer.”

When Miesa blinked, Eirik chuckled and added, “Anyway, I now understand how you’ve seen me: always serving with a sullen face, ready to run away at the first chance—a shallow coward.”

“No, it’s not like that—”

“A man who betrays his lord, turns his back on his wife, and ignores the woman he loves. What a scoundrel.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take up three positions.”

“What’s there to be sorry for? There’s someone who’s an ex-husband, lover, and current husband all in one.”

He looked at Miesa with a quiet laugh.

“So, Miesa, leave the dirty work to me. Hand over all those parts of yourself that you find repulsive. They’re precious to me.”

Miesa couldn’t understand. Such boundless understanding and acceptance couldn’t exist in reality.

“Why do you go to such lengths for me…?”

It wasn’t just because they were family. Miesa knew that much by now. Even if he harbored romantic feelings for her, love like this couldn’t exist in the world, especially not for someone as broken as she was.

“Judging by your expression, I suppose saying that I love you wouldn’t be enough.”

Eirik looked at her with softened eyes. Once, they hadn’t been able to answer the same question with the word “love,” but now, even “love” seemed insufficient.

In any case, it meant they had been through that much together. For now, that was enough for him.

“For a man who grew up on the battlefield from the age of twelve, who do you think is the most admirable person?”

“…Someone strong?”

“A strong person. And you’re the strongest person I know.”

He bowed his head, tapping his forehead with his finger. When Miesa looked at him, confused, he cupped her cheeks and pressed his forehead to her lips.

“And if I look back, I think I’ve always wanted to be with a wise woman.”

It was probably his mother’s influence. While many men found wise wives burdensome, he had always wanted a partner who could point out things he hadn’t considered.

“And you’re the most intelligent person I know.”

“Madam Cladnier is wiser than I am.”

“My mother has lived long and gained much experience. If I were to pursue that kind of maturity, I’d have to wait until I’m over forty, which would mean you’re too young for me.”

When he offered his cheek, a smile, contrary to the seriousness of the situation, spread across Miesa’s face. When she obediently kissed him, he continued the conversation.

“There’s someone in our knights’ order who gets along very well with his wife. When I asked why, he said it’s because they communicate well. And I find the most joy in our conversations.”

Then he turned his other cheek for another kiss. After the light kiss, Eirik spoke again in a serious tone. “And honestly, it wouldn’t have mattered if your appearance wasn’t quite so stunning. But you’re incredibly beautiful.”

“I don’t quite understand that part. Could you explain it properly?”

“Then I suppose you’ll have to give me a proper reward for the explanation.”

Eirik tapped his lips with a nonchalant expression. When Miesa nodded with determination, he lowered his voice as if sharing something truly important. “Even now, it amazes me that you’re here in front of me, talking, smiling, and sleeping.”

“Eirik, there could be many reasons why you find it amazing.”

When she urged him to elaborate, he stifled his laughter and answered with all seriousness. “When you speak, you’re like a beautiful instrument; when you smile, you’re like a flower; and when you sleep, you’re like a fairy.”

“Goodness. Am I? What kind of flower?”

“No flower I’ve ever seen is as beautiful as you, and no jewel sparkles like your eyes, so I guess those comparisons aren’t quite right.”

“A jewel? Are you saying what’s in my eyes looks like the gems on a crown?”

“Not just that, but when you bloom in my arms…”

As he explained, Miesa’s mouth slowly opened in astonishment. “My body and breath are sweet? That wasn’t just a joke? But a person’s body can’t be sweet.”

“It can. I didn’t know it either.”

Eirik nodded seriously, then claimed his final reward. As he had predicted, the kiss was long, and by the time their lips parted, Miesa’s face was flushed red like a ripe fruit.

“You’re truly a strange person. To like me so much.”

Eirik finally burst out laughing. She still didn’t fully grasp how much he adored her, but at least she seemed to understand his sincerity.

“So, please allow me to involve myself in your revenge in my own way.”

Even as Miesa stared at him blankly, he continued, “Please consider my desperate and selfish plea, born from the desire to fill your present and future with only good things.”

“Selfish?”

“It’s selfish because I’m interfering in your perfect revenge.”

Suddenly brought back to reality, Miesa couldn’t quite regain her composure as her heart continued to race.

“Suddenly, I feel like I’ve become a fool. I can’t think straight.”

“Is that so?”

“In history books, it talks about charming women who bewitch kings. I guess this is what they meant.”

Eirik laughed softly as he pressed his forehead against hers. “If that’s the case, then please respond to me as well. I’m pouring my whole body and soul into pleading with you.”

As his breath came even closer, Miesa felt her head spin. She hurriedly pulled away, gathering the last remnants of her sanity.

“Alright. But it’s not because I feel like my heart’s about to burst. I’ve seriously considered the advice Margrave offered me out of loyalty.”

As Eirik returned to his serious demeanor, nodding, Miesa continued, “And I think you’re right. Sellas can’t be allowed to destroy me.”

“Thank you.”

“So, Margrave, please handle the remaining three as you see fit. I’ll follow your suggestion for dealing with the ladies too.”

“I will obey.”

Miesa sighed unconsciously. Seeing a gentle smile on his handsome face filled her with a strange sense of defeat.

To be a queen who forgets her twisted thirst for revenge, beguiled by the charming man before her. The lines between right and wrong had blurred, making her no better than Vermel—a tyrant in her own right. Yet it was all so sweet that she couldn’t resist.

Even when he called himself selfish, pleading with her, it felt as if he was offering the help she didn’t even realize she needed.