Beneath the Surviving Princess's Joyful Facade - Chapter 31

Meanwhile, the royal maids watched the scene unfold from a second-floor window. Their suspicious eyes followed Gella, who was carrying a box clearly from a patisserie and speaking animatedly to Eirik. With his arms occupied holding Miesa, Eirik responded briefly before heading toward the mansion, his expression appearing somewhat irritated.

In contrast, Gella, holding the box, walked somewhere else, her excitement evident. The royal maids collectively frowned.

“Looks like he’s giving her a gift to send her back to the knights’ quarters. Maybe he’s done with his business outside.”

“I don’t know. She doesn’t quite seem like a lover.”

“She could be his type. Otherwise, why would he take her out like that?”

“Something’s off. I can’t put my finger on it,” said Mrs. Maleca, furrowing her brow before waving her hand dismissively. “It doesn’t matter. If she isn’t his lover, we can make her one.”

“A little early, but would you like to have dinner now?” Eirik asked.

“No, not now,” Miesa replied wearily. The outing had tired her, and she stumbled towards the bed, collapsing onto it with a soft thud.

After giving instructions to the waiting servant in the hallway, Eirik returned to find the room silent. Approaching the bed, he saw Miesa curled up with her eyes closed.

As Eirik reached out her hand to brush away her hair from her face–

“……!”

Miesa started awake, eyes wide with alarm. In the silence, their gazes met.

“You really were asleep,” Eirik observed, to which Miesa nodded, half-raising herself before lying back down.

She had been pretending to sleep whenever she snored, but apparently, she’d always been this alert. Eirik sighed, his expression softening as he gently patted her fragile body.

“Don’t worry and sleep. I’m here with you,” he reassured her.

“Yes,” she murmured, curling up again and quickly falling asleep. Eirik stood up and watched her.

It was alright that she hadn’t fully opened up to him. He hadn’t expected her to let her guard down overnight. But something kept nagging at him.

Her initial reaction in the carriage and her response to the discussion about pastries were different—one of resentment, the other of bewilderment. Yet, he had only gotten an answer to one of those reactions. Afterward, it was as if nothing had happened, and she reverted to her usual innocent demeanor.

“Ha…” He sighed deeply, turning away.

Miesa had a strong tendency to avoid things. She might be ignoring memories deeply buried within her subconscious, perhaps without even realizing it. What happened in the carriage could be a precursor. One day, the emotions she had been piling up might explode, in some form.

He had grown up on the battlefield, seeing as many survivors as he had seen deaths. Even well-trained adults could go mad in an instant. Among his fellow knights, there were those who had lost their emotions and sanity after years of shared life-and-death struggles.

Miesa’s composed and sometimes brazen demeanor often made even him overlook the possibility that one day, she could genuinely break down and cause havoc.

She is part of the Cladnier family. It’s his responsibility to protect and take care of his family, so looking after her isn’t an issue. But he was cautious because he felt his fondness for her growing. Caring for a family member out of duty was different from having his heart taken.

For the first time, Eirik felt unsettled by emotions beyond his control. Miesa’s instability would surely worsen any future problems, adding to his concern.

***

A few days passed. Outwardly, Eirik behaved no differently than usual. He continued to hold her, gently teaching her and engaging in their evening conversations.

“Dinner was really delicious tonight. You said it was pork knuckle, right? I’d like to have it again,” Miesa said.

“I’ll let the kitchen know,” Eirik replied.

Miesa closed her eyes, expecting a kiss. Instead, she felt a brief peck on her forehead. A faint look of disappointment crossed her face. For the past few days, he hadn’t touched her below the neck at all.

“And… the sunlight was too strong today, so I couldn’t play outside for long. I like sunny weather, but I don’t like not being able to play in the garden for too long,” she continued.

She looked intently at his face. He nodded and placed a kiss on her temple.

“Is that all?” he asked.

“I suppose so,” she answered.

He felt uncomfortable as well. Despite his confusing feelings, his body continued to react to her presence. But he smiled and added, “Is there anything else you’d like to talk about?”

Miesa hesitated, struggling to find her words. He watched her quietly, explaining, “The things you’ve mentioned so far are topics you could share with strangers.”

For the past few days, her conversations had been trivial, and he didn’t know how to settle his troubled mind. His attraction to Miesa constantly clashed with his upbringing as the heir of a noble family.

Miesa felt anxious. If she could turn back time, she would gladly accept whatever he offered with a smile while they were in the carriage.

If his feelings were merely hostility, the situation would have been simpler. Instead, he ensured she had her meals regularly and treated her gently, as if nothing had happened, while occasionally assessing her, just as he was doing now.

“So, I…” she started.

What should I say?

Finding a suitable topic that wouldn’t upset him was difficult. She clenched her fists unconsciously, and he glanced at them but didn’t react.

Normally, he would ask what was wrong, but now his silence was painful. At this rate, even sharing a bed with him seemed unlikely.

“I don’t know what to talk about,” she finally admitted, her voice trembling. “I don’t know what topics to discuss with strangers or what to talk about in this situation. After all, you’re the only person I ever talk to.”

Eirik paused, then raised a hand to cover his eyes and sighed deeply.

“I see,” he said.

Removing his hand, he looked directly at Miesa.

“It doesn’t matter what you talk about.”

Her candid admission helped him find clarity. Though he didn’t know where these feelings would lead him, seeing her explain her position honestly cleared his mind.

Seeing her tense and stuttering, he felt that worrying and drawing boundaries was foolish. It seemed cowardly to worry about the consequences of his growing affection for her.

“But to understand each other, it’s better to share things from our hearts rather than just talking about the weather or food.”

He tried to draw out more from her. Miesa hesitated, her lips moving without sound.

Finally, she spoke, “I don’t like rainy days…”

Her response showed she hadn’t fully understood his point. Eirik shifted his approach.

“Let’s talk about our last outing.”

“……”

“There was more to that day, wasn’t there? You didn’t want to explain, so I didn’t press you.”

A look of confusion spread across Miesa’s face.

Eirik spoke to her slowly and gently, “Given everything you’ve been through, there must be many complex emotions inside you. That’s only natural.”

Eirik continued, his gaze fixed on her tightly sealed lips, “I think it’s a good sign that you sometimes can’t hide your true feelings in front of me. You’ve probably hidden them perfectly from everyone else until now.”

Just like now, when she couldn’t conceal her tension.

“……”

“Consummating the marriage is important,” he continued, “but the true beginning of our relationship will come when you open your heart to me. Do you understand?”

Miesa was puzzled by his sudden words. She still hadn’t learned to speak indirectly.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” she asked.

When he only smiled, Miesa asked again, “I mean, why are you being this nice to me?”

Eirik responded with a neutral answer. He wasn’t yet ready to label the feelings he had only recently recognized.

“You’re now part of the Cladnier family.”

“Part of the family?” Miesa questioned further.

“It means you’re one of us now,” Eirik explained.

“Family?” she repeated, not fully understanding.

He nodded. “It’s only natural to cherish and protect my own. Furthermore, the Cladnier family never breaks faith.”

Once he made up his mind, he felt a sense of relief. As he reached out and pulled her into an embrace, her slender body melted into his arms.

“Oh.” Miesa nodded as if something had finally clicked. “Is that why Margravine Cladnier is nice to me too? She’s been kind to me from the start.”

His answer to this was more complex. He believed it was better to address it now rather than have her disappointed later.

“I once mentioned that I had a younger sister. Do you remember?”

“Eirik, you’re twenty-four years old. You have no siblings now, but you did have a younger sister who died in an accident when you were young. You spent all those years fighting the war with the Principality of Sidate at the frontier.”

He raised an eyebrow at her memory. “My mother seems to see her when she looks at you, but I can’t say for sure,” Eirik explained simply, adding, “People are complex. She is my mother and someone I deeply respect, but I still don’t know if her decisions regarding my sister’s death were the right ones.”

“……”

“She is not as benevolent as you might think. My mother had to make several decisions my father couldn’t bring himself to make,” he said, sighing softly.

“Ultimately, good and evil are relative, determined by circumstances and interests.”

Miesa blinked. It was unsettling to hear such words from someone who always did the right thing.

“What about you, Eirik?”