Attachment Knight - Chapter 19

“….”

Radem pulled himself out of his unpleasant thoughts. He was always standing somewhere ambiguous, neither fully in the light nor in the dark. Maybe he would never find a place to stand for the rest of his life.

‘If that too is fate, then it’s fate.’

After all, he was a being born ‘wrong’ from the very beginning.

‘If your existence is revealed, we’ll all die, Radem. You must erase the bloodline of the Cardich imperial family within you. If you are exposed to the world as someone of imperial blood, both you and I will be slaughtered. Do you understand?’

‘….’

‘So forget everything and go to a mountain village. I’ll send a maid with you. If you stay there, your father will come to take you.’

‘What about you, Mother?’

‘I am not your mother, Radem.’

Firm yet sorrowful, those violet eyes identical to his. A calm voice, as if all emotion had been cut away.

His mother, the third princess of the Cardich imperial family and the one chosen to become the saintess of the Libertium temple, had conceived a child despite being someone who should have remained chaste and served only the gods.

‘Now, say it. What is your father’s name?’

‘…Baharkan Rosenbauer.’

A child of Duke Rosenbauer, who served the imperial family. The imperial line, bestowed with divine authority, had produced saintesses for generations and strictly worshipped the Goddess Libra. Ever since forbidden magic had once overturned the world, the imperial family’s faith had become absolute.

If it became known that a saintess had dared to couple with an outsider and left behind an impure seed, the Rosenbauer family would be wiped out, and the saintess herself would be burned at the stake.

‘What is your mother’s name?’

A choked voice asked. Tears welled up even in young Radem’s eyes.

‘…Caitlin Linz.’

And so, Radem came to live in a mountain village safe house with the maid Caitlin Linz. She was an outsider hired by his mother and didn’t know the details, so she assumed Radem was a child who had incurred the wrath of someone powerful and didn’t take special care of him.

She simply prepared meals on time, cleaned the house, and supplied what was needed. None of it was what Radem truly wanted.

The letter his mother sent through a messenger on the first day never came again after that.

The maid often left the house. There was no one to talk to, no one to share meals with, but instead of growing weary of the loneliness, Radem chose to become accustomed to it. While living alone, he came to know a girl who lived nearby, and that was the first glimpse of the harsh reality he experienced.

‘If I work at the inn, they say my whole family can eat and live.’

In a poor rural village, it wasn’t uncommon for children to be sold.

‘They say my mom, dad, my little brothers, even the youngest can all eat their fill thanks to me. They say it’s not even that hard. They’ll give me lots of money and food. For someone like me who only knows how to sew, to give me a job like this, Mr. Boyle is an angel. Radem! I’ll write to you sometimes. I’ll earn a lot and buy you something delicious. You’re always alone, Radem.’

Radem didn’t have any special bond with the girl next door. They often ran into each other, but by then, he had become closed off and defensive, unable to grow attached to anyone. But perhaps the girl, pushed aside by her younger siblings, felt lonely as well, so she persistently spoke to him.

‘They say it’s a big inn near the docks.’

‘What do you do there?’

‘They said I just have to serve food to the customers, smile, and do whatever they ask. Mr. Boyle said I’m cute. He said everyone will like me. More than my mom and dad.’

‘Don’t go.’

‘Why?’

‘It feels wrong. There’s no way a job that easy would pay that well.’

‘Is that so? I don’t really know. But what can I do? I already stamped my handprint saying I’d go. Mom and Dad said it’s fine too. I’ve only ever been a burden to my family. Finally, I’m finally useful.’

Back then, Radem was still young, so he couldn’t clearly explain the source of the unease he felt. He only knew that sweetness always came with a price.

Radem watched the child singing as she plucked clover. The bright green of fresh growth filled his eyes.

If only he had known he would never see that dazzling clarity again. If only he had known she would return as a corpse after just one month, dead of an unknown cause.

“….”

The world is cruel to those who have nothing.

Neither his world nor the girl’s was beautiful. It was only dry and miserable.

The child had simply come to know the truth too early. Staring blankly at the lid of the girl’s coffin, Radem repeated to himself.

At least the pain left you early.

Even so, he regrets it.

The girl’s remaining life might not have been particularly abundant anyway, but he still regrets it.

That he couldn’t stop her back then.

The extinguished green light, the limbs drooping like withered petals, held Radem for a long time.

The funeral procession didn’t last long, and even the girl’s family eventually left, but Radem stayed alone by the grave, standing in the rain.

A tall man in priestly robes remained there as well. He had long silver hair loosely tied and eyes shaped like a fox’s tail.

‘What kind of horrific things did those so-called parents do to that child? Pitiful. May she rest in the embrace of the Goddess Libra. In her next life, may she not be alone. I pray in the name of Esseranto.’

After gathering the flowers that were about to be washed away by the rain, the priest prayed for a long time before leaving.

The first death Radem experienced was horribly dreadful and miserable. Not long after, he left the mountain village and moved to Rosenbauer.

His life became as steady as a wheel. Like a well-trained racehorse, he completed the track he was meant to run.

Mission after mission, endlessly piling up.

Dangerous covert operations that could treat his life like a toy….

Even so, he carried out every task without complaint. Because that was the reason for his existence.

Because of that, Radem Rosenbauer found his current situation strange.

His father must have ordered him to investigate Omelas Island and Don Pisano. But now, he felt an unusual lack of motivation. As if he had decided to abandon all responsibility and duty.

At this moment, there was only one person completely occupying Radem’s mind.

The golden hair that flowed elegantly over her straight shoulders, her eyes as beautiful as trumpet flowers. Her small, pale face and lips, her playful yet somehow precarious smile.

Radem remembered all of it clearly.

Ridiculously clearly.

‘We were very special to each other.’

‘If you stay with me, you might remember the past you lost.’

In truth, maybe there was no need to know such things.

Because he already….

“….”

He placed one hand on his scabbard. The sound of it opening and closing repeated irritably.

Thirty minutes had already passed since Millicent left the hall.

The atmosphere of the banquet grew increasingly dense, like a brothel. The men and women were adorned in fine silk and perfume, but their words and actions were unbearably vulgar.

Radem’s gaze, sweeping across the crowd, stopped on someone. It was a woman so pale she seemed almost white and thin.

With long straight purple hair and a black veil like a widow, the woman was Grisha, known as Don Pisano’s former lover.

As befitted an underground sorceress, a gloomy aura clung to her.

Her soulless eyes were fixed viciously beyond the pillar where Don Pisano had disappeared with Millicent. Uncontrollable jealousy and hatred radiated from her.

At that moment, someone approached Grisha with their face and hair hidden under a hood. The glittering rouge visible beneath a fan gleamed excessively.

When Grisha pressed a heavy pouch into her hand, the woman bowed her head and disappeared into the darkness where no light could penetrate.

It was in the direction where Millicent had gone. Radem’s nerves sharpened. By the time he came to his senses, his feet were already moving. Marquis Godom and Millicent were moving past the garden toward the west wing of the main palace.

Unlike the other corridors, that place was filled with outdoor terraces and rooms draped with thick curtains, dim like darkrooms. From inside the rooms came sticky, suggestive sounds. The shadows writhing noisily, tangled together above the curtains, blatantly revealed the purpose of the rooms. Seeing the two choose a room and enter, Radem’s face hardened stiffly.

***

“This old man can really drink.”

“H-hiccup. O-of course…. But Miss Millie, we’re not that far apart in age, you know? Calling me ‘old man’ is a bit cold…. Hiccup!”

I clinked glasses with Marquis Godom. I’d already made him drink three bottles of strong liquor, yet he still seemed fine, so he wasn’t an ordinary man. Even so, it looked like he’d collapse soon.

The west corridor of the main palace had a clear purpose. It was a place meant to incite secret affairs between men and women, and Godom led me there. More precisely, I led him.

“Are you tired already?”

“No…. No way. Are you looking down on me? Pour more. More, keep pouring.”

I checked the remaining bottles and smiled.

It doesn’t look like it will take that long.