Attachment Knight - Chapter 13

Don Pisano furrowed his brow. His face said, why is she like this today.

“We can do that as much as we want later. Don’t make me say it twice, Millie.”

He let out a sigh, then crouched down and met my eyes at my level.

“If you just complete ‘that,’ I’ll grant you everything you want. The grand city scenery of the capital you said you wanted to see, golden deserts, the gypsy village of the eastern continent, and the snowfields of the northern country. I’ll take you anywhere.”

He tucked my hair behind my ear and spoke as if he were being affectionate on purpose. Then I have no choice but to become a good child. The expectations and disappointments repeated for years have grown duller and duller. I’ll have to stay trapped inside the castle, waiting endlessly for his magic circle, which I don’t even know when it will be completed.

“Here, this is my last gift.”

Don Pisano lifted something that had been hidden behind the bundle of gifts. When the white lace cloth was pulled away, a yellow canary trapped inside a round cage revealed itself.

“Oh….”

“It’s a cute canary, just like you. I heard you feed birds. Don’t take care of filthy wild birds; raise one yourself.”

When I smiled brightly for the first time since receiving the gifts, Don looked satisfied.

The canary wriggled. It was a small, warm creature, like a lump of flesh just born from its mother’s womb. The way it buried its head into its own feathers as if cowed by the unfamiliar environment was so fragile and pitiful. The moment I saw the beautiful bird with delicate golden feathers, I fell in love. Its round, black eyes looked quietly toward me. I thought the canary’s eyes, shining like pebbles, those eyes pure to the point of transparency, looked like Radem’s.

Once that thought occurred to me, the glossy feathers and the elegant line of its body, showing off a healthy figure, all made me think of that man. I stared quietly at the canary trapped in the cage. The lovely bird sang in a beautiful voice as it looked at me. When Don opened the cage door, the one with its flight feathers cut hopped out and perched on my wrist.

“It’s pretty.”

“If I’d known you’d like it this much, I should’ve given it to you as a gift sooner.”

The bird that couldn’t fly tasted freedom for a moment, then returned behind the bars again. When I saw the bird being helplessly shoved back by Don’s hand, my excitement faded in an instant, and my mood turned strange. He pushed the cage away far and lay down on my bed, then patted the spot beside him.

“I’ve got a lot to handle until dawn, so I haven’t been able to sleep at all. Will you brew me some tea that’s good for sleeping? I need to close my eyes for a bit before I go.”

I did. Don leisurely savored the tea I brewed. Then he lay down on my bed. Only then did his stiff expression relax comfortably. He let out a deep breath.

But unlike him, who looked calm and satisfied, my mood was strange. Like I’d felt something off in a puzzle I thought was perfectly fitted together, and I was trying to find that tiny distortion.

I tried to leave quietly so I wouldn’t disturb his rest, but Don grabbed my wrist as if asking where I was going.

“You need to stay next to me.”

My gaze, which had been flicking toward the canary cage, turned to Don. It was a look that expected what we always did. I smiled first and went over to him, then lay down beside him. And like a mother soothing a child, I gently patted Don’s shoulder and sang for him.

Hoping he’d fall deeply asleep.

But Don quickly grasped that I couldn’t focus. He raised his hand to stop me at the unstable pitch and the halfhearted lyrics.

“Something’s strange today.”

“….”

“When you sing for me, I always fall asleep quickly. But today it’s strange. It feels like sleep is unpleasantly slipping away instead.”

His dark blue eyes looked into me as if questioning my thoughts. Don’s wrist was still wrapped firmly around the back of my hand. The canary’s cries sounded faintly.

In that moment, I felt an unbearable suffocation and helplessness. Like I’d become the pretty bird inside that cage.

Can something you adored just a moment ago turn hateful in an instant? The bird cried without reading the room. I wanted to shove my hand into the cage right now and twist its little neck.

Just then, Don pulled me in. A large hand pushed up the strapless tube-top dress. One thigh lifted, and a hand suddenly slipped in between. I’d been glaring at the canary with burning eyes, but it was like I got splashed with cold water and my mind snapped awake.

“It’s a problem if a bird steals too much of your attention.”

He moved his hand like he was used to it. He rubbed the inside of the soft, folded flesh and helplessly spread it. The fingers digging in like they were scraping at my inner flesh were relentless. Unlike my head turning cold, my body began to heat up with a familiar arousal. Even as the clothes covering my body fell away miserably, I couldn’t stop thinking about the canary. Don, dressed in a perfect suit, toyed with me. Whatever tightly held me and shut me in around my body felt like an arm and also like iron bars.

In that moment, a strange anger surged, and I challenged him.

“Don, do you love me?”

“Of course.”

“Truly? Can you swear it?”

“Feels like I’ve said that several times already. Is there anyone here who doesn’t know you’re my lover?”

“But you don’t say you love me.”

Fatigue and irritation crept on his face.

“If you really love me, how far will you go for me? First, say you love me. Exactly, say those words.”

“…Millie, stop it.”

“Why can’t you say it? You’re not confident, that’s why. Even the words ‘I love you’ must be a lie, right? That’s why what I really want is—”

Don glared at me fiercely, like I was pouring out a fit. An expression like he was looking at a child with a sick mind. The end of my sentence crumbled. Silence passed. Without a word, he went to the table and brought back pills and a cup of water.

“Take it and calm down.”

I ignored him and turned away.

“Is this a protest?”

“….”

“How dare you, and in front of me?”

I heard the sound of a glass slipping from his hand and shattering into pieces. My body flinched. I knew he was angry, but I held out to the end. Tsk, a sharp sigh followed.

“It’s hard enough to placate a child’s temper.”

“….”

I regretted it after doing it. I was afraid he’d abandon me, afraid I’d have nowhere to go. Don Pisano was my every first and my only world. If he threw me away, I’d have nowhere to set foot. Like his countless lovers who’d been discarded, like Grisha, who stayed by his side for a long time but ended up abandoned in an underground lab, I might spend the rest of my life miserably….

Ah. Why did I do that?

I regretted the act I’d done without resisting the impulse so much it drove me crazy. I threw off the blanket and sat bolt upright.

“Don, I was wrong.”

He’d already left the bedroom. Seeing the shattered glass and the scattered pills made my stomach churn.

“What do I do, what should I do….”

After tearing at my hair until it was a mess, I ran out in a hurry. When Don is angry, he won’t let anyone approach. If I follow him, I might provoke even greater fury, but right now, easing my anxiety was more urgent.

I had to apologize.

That I was wrong.

That I won’t do it again, that I won’t mention leaving the island again. I had to cling to him and beg him to love me and cherish me. My mind fell into panic, and I didn’t even think to pick up and put on clothes properly. No, it was as if I didn’t even recognize the fact that I was naked. While I was crossing the carpet in a frenzy, the air touching my skin was cold, so I grabbed whatever I could and draped it over my bare body. Thud thud, the sound of my feet pounding down the corridor overlapped with the sound of my heart.

“Don!”

I ran down the corridor for a long time, but I couldn’t see him. Not in the bedroom, not in the office, not in the reception parlor for guests, not in the private sitting room.

When impatience and anxiety pass a certain point, my head goes completely blank. No thoughts come, and helplessness and weakness surge in like I’d been abandoned in the middle of a desert. I walked along the corridor between the garden and the training grounds, then grew exhausted and braced myself against the wall, gasping for breath. When I came to my senses, only then did I recognize where I was. I think I took the wrong turn.

The garden and the training grounds.

Neither of them is a place Don Pisano would be….

As I turned to go back, a sharp pain in my foot made me collapse to the floor. The tender sole of my foot was scraped and soaked with blood. Holding my foot, I steadied my breathing.

The glaring afternoon sunlight poured down over my face.

“….”

Maybe because I’d never come as far as near the training grounds, the surroundings felt unfamiliar. The sunlight stabbing my vision, the faint shouts heard from somewhere, the heat haze rising from the ground and the lukewarm breeze blowing slowly, all of it felt strangely unfamiliar.

The balcony of my room in the main castle was visible far off. Sitting there blankly, I listened to the sound of water trickling from somewhere. My face reflected in the water must look horribly bedraggled. The corners of my eyes were red and swollen from crying a little, my hair was a mess, and I was dressed in clothes I’d just woken up in….

Just then, I heard the sound of footsteps, step step.

Thinking it might be Don, I roughly smoothed my hair with my fingers and turned my head with a happy expression, then froze.