A Butterfly Through the Mist - Chapter 131

“You’re late.”

Standing with his back to the brightly lit Essentine Mansion, Ilex was dressed casually. His hair was still damp as if he had just washed, and he wore only a shirt without a vest.

The sight of the man through the square door of the carriage was like a complete embodiment of a demon descending on a nightmare.

Tilia, feeling a hallucination as if a mist was scattering at his feet, gazed at him with dazed eyes.

That’s right, Ilex Davenport was a handsome man. A man with an appearance that made it no shame to be seduced.

Unlike her, who was reaffirming this objective fact, Ilex continued to emit a faint sense of displeasure.

“Smells like alcohol.”

“……”

“How much did you drink?”

Only then did Tilia realize that she hadn’t even sent a message that she would be late, and now, shamelessly showing clear signs of drunkenness, she was dawdling in the carriage.

“I didn’t drink that much.”

Saying something even she couldn’t believe, Tilia staggered as she got out of the carriage.

Ilex, who openly scoffed, lightly lifted Tilia up instead of escorting her.

The buoyant sensation, as if she were flying through the sky, was strangely delightful, and Tilia laughed aloud.

Heh, at that, Ilex let out a dry laugh and adjusted his hold on her.

“What are you laughing at when you’ve done nothing good?”

Even while chiding her like that, his voice couldn’t stay harsh in the end.

The man, securely supporting Tilia’s back and behind her knees, began striding into the mansion with her in his arms.

Tilia, resting her head against the man’s firm chest, inhaled his scent deeply into her nose.

Thump, thump. The sound of his heart beating steadily resonated in her head.

The cool autumn night breeze tickled her hair, and the warmth felt on every contact surface gently warmed her heart.

“Ilex.”

It was an impulsive call, driven by those languid sensations.

Behind her closed eyelids, the expression Judy had made when she received Tilia’s letter unfolded. Her face blooming with happiness.

“I…”

Would he be as delighted if she gave him the letter she wrote? Would he be overjoyed, like Judy, like a child?

The curiosity that floated up lightly pushed away any hesitation.

“Should I give you something nice?”

At the sudden remark, Ilex lowered his head to look at the woman in his arms.

In the instant their eyes met, a certain realization brushed against his chest.

Perhaps the alcohol was just an excuse. Perhaps he had merely been waiting for the right moment.

The moment when, even if he became the weaker party in this love, he would bare his heart completely.

“I’ll give it to you. Something fun.”

At Tilia’s languid words, Ilex laughed as if he were listening to a drunkard’s nonsense.

Beyond his smiling face, the night sky filled with stars and a bright moon spread out. The scenery was so beautiful, like love itself, that Tilia found herself smiling along, as if bewitched.

***

‘…Is this really okay?’

But standing before the wardrobe, holding the letter hidden in the corner, Tilia could only hesitate with a slightly lost expression.

Perhaps because her feet, which had been floating in midair, had now touched solid floor.

A creeping sense of reality belatedly rose up.

Why did I say I would give him this? Why in the world did I do that?

While she faltered, reason slowly returning bit by bit—

“What is it?”

A prompt came from behind, as if he had noticed her hesitation.

“You said you’d give me something. What is it?”

The man blocking her escape route like a sentinel stood with his arms crossed, peering over her shoulder.

Tilia instinctively tried to hide the letter in her arms and stammered, “I-it’s nothing special…”

“What’s taking you so long, then?”

The man’s patience was short. As if he had waited long enough, Ilex grabbed Tilia’s shoulders and turned her around.

Ah. Facing him suddenly, Tilia’s secret was exposed.

Ilex, seeing the bundle of papers she was clutching tightly, raised an eyebrow in puzzlement.

“What’s that…”

“Take it. It’s yours.”

Words flew out of her mouth in her fluster. Like someone passing off a debt, Tilia thrust what she was holding into his arms and fled the dressing room.

Bang. The door closed rather hastily.

The sound of her footsteps returning to her bedroom, leaving him behind, was drowned out by the pounding of her heart.

Only after practically running to her bedroom did Tilia, gasping, finally catch her breath.

She had given it to him.

Her legs gave out, and Tilia slid down with her back against the door.

What do I do? I gave it to him.

Her face, buried against her knees to hide her embarrassment, revealed no expression. But the flushed color of her ears, the fingertips clasping her knees, betrayed her.

Tilia’s heart, having finally handed over what she had hidden all this time, was entirely red. Unlike the seal stamped on the letter, it was a vivid, unblemished crimson emotion.

***

No matter how long she waited, Ilex didn’t return. Tilia, pacing the room and glancing at the door connected to the dressing room, finally succumbed to her nerves and entered the bathroom first.

She poured fragrant oil into warm water and carefully washed herself. During that time, the drunken haze that had occupied her mind slowly lifted.

What have I done?

As the fog-like stupor cleared, that was the first thought that came to Tilia’s mind.

What in the world have I done?

“I can’t live with myself…!”

Tilia clutched her head, groaning in a voice barely louder than a whisper, soaked in self-reproach.

Fragments of the feelings she had written into the letter belatedly resurfaced.

What had she written? That she hoped he would keep loving her? That she truly appreciated how much he cherished her? Or—could it be—had she written both?

The words she had pressed so firmly into the paper now seemed erased from memory, but one feeling pierced through all the vagueness: Wretchedness. Such humiliation that she wished she could hide underwater and escape down the drain.

“Ha, Tilia Ambrose, you really…”

As if punishing herself, Tilia submerged her head beneath the surface and hit herself. Above her flushed face, an even hotter shame surfaced.

Why did I give it? Why did I do that? If only I had kept it hidden! If I had just stayed still, no one would have known, and it would have all passed quietly!

“Ugh…”

Thrashing about in self-loathing and embarrassment, Tilia suddenly sprang up like a warrior. Dizziness made her stagger for a moment, but she soon stepped out of the tub.

Only one thought filled her mind.

Take it back. Snatch it away.

As if this were the only way to escape the shame, the thought drove her body.

She dried off quickly, threw on her nightgown, and steeled herself.

After all, it was something she had written—something that belonged to her. If Ilex refused to return it, she would use his affection as leverage, even resort to trading her own body if necessary.

Forming a slightly mean, somewhat underhanded plan, Tilia grasped the bathroom doorknob with a determined expression.

If I open this door now, Ilex Davenport will be there. Standing with a face aching to tease me, longing for me to come out.

‘…Don’t lose, Tilia Ambrose.’

Calling out her own name, Tilia slapped her cheeks with her free hand, then twisted the knob forcefully with renewed resolve.

Bang. The door opened with a rather impatient noise.

“Uh…”

But her green eyes, wide with fierceness, quickly rounded in confusion.

Why isn’t he here?

Scanning the room nervously, it took Tilia quite some time to accept the fact that Ilex was not in the bedroom.

She had been so sure he would be waiting with a face full of glee.

Maybe it was because he had defied her expectations. A strange emptiness welled up inside her.

Even after realizing he wasn’t there, she lingered a little longer by the bathroom door before slowly stepping forward.

Is he in the office?

That seemed likely. He often tucked her into bed before returning to his study.

When Tilia woke up in the middle of the night and found him absent, she would ask him about it the next morning, and Ilex would casually say he had work to do and had just stepped out.

“What, couldn’t sleep because I wasn’t there?”

The teasing face that had answered her floated into her mind. Biting her lip hard, Tilia hurriedly threw on a robe.