A Butterfly Through the Mist - Chapter 121

As before, Tilia’s punishment period for the oversexed man couldn’t last very long.

But this time, it wasn’t because her heart softened at the sight of a dispirited Ilex—rather, it was because she started to question whether a “no penetration” punishment was even effective.

“Tilia. Squeeze your breasts together with your hands. Yeah, like that… ha.”

She had known that intimacy between men and women could take many forms—but not that many.

Between her breasts, between her thighs, between her buttocks—watching him seek pleasure from all of them, Tilia stared in a daze and eventually had no choice but to lift the ban.

Because otherwise—

“Tonight, let’s try mutual masturbation, face to face.”

“……”

—she felt like she might end up smashing a lamp over her own head for choosing a guy like this.

“Make me a promise first.”

Still, allowing penetration didn’t mean she would tolerate everything he did in bed like before.

Even with her limited experience, it was clear: to physically coexist with someone as sexually ravenous as he was, she needed ground rules.

Of course, the sex with him was mind-numbingly good. The kind of pleasure that made her lose herself entirely.

But for that to become routine… was an entirely different matter.

“What?”

While he was practically vibrating with the urge to be inside her, Tilia made him sit and began counting on her fingers as she explained.

“First, no doing it more than three times in a row.”

“……”

“And second, no doing it two days in a row. Third—”

“Wait, how many are there?”

“Fifteen.”

“……”

You’re joking, right? Ilex looked at her, silently pleading that it was just a joke.

But Tilia stared him down with a face as dry and humorless as sand in the desert.

“…Ha.”

After rubbing his face with both hands in defeat for a while, Ilex pulled up the pajama top he had halfway undressed from her and muttered, “Alright, let’s hear it.”

Undeterred by his unenthusiastic tone, Tilia recited the fifteen rules she’d spent her time at work drafting in great detail.

“…But.”

Listening attentively with increasingly lifeless eyes, Ilex finally couldn’t hold back at the last clause.

“I don’t think I can follow the one about stopping if you cry. You bawl your eyes out every time you come.”

At those words, Tilia just stared at him.

Is he picking a fight?

She tried to read between the lines, but the man’s face was innocent. Completely free of mockery—it was a sincere observation.

That made her even angrier for a moment, but Tilia took the high road and responded maturely, “Then change it to ‘if I cry too much’—”

“‘Too much’ is too subjective. You always cry too much. To the point it drives me crazy watching you.”

This bastard.

She couldn’t hold back anymore and smacked him with a pillow at that last remark.

Even as he got whacked, the man didn’t retract his argument, and in the end, they reached a dramatic compromise: ‘If I’m crying so hard I can’t breathe properly, stop for 30 seconds.’

“Oh, and—if you break any of these rules, it’s separate bedrooms again.”

“What? That’s not fair.”

Of course, when it came to that most crucial punishment clause, she faced fierce resistance once again.

Ilex protested, saying separate bedrooms were absolutely out of the question, offering instead to buy her real estate one by one. Tilia was briefly tempted by the materialistic offer she didn’t know she wanted, but she stood firm.

If he broke any rule, it meant a week of no sex.

Naturally, this punishment included all the so-called “alternatives” Ilex had sneakily used until now.

“…But I can still masturbate, right? Doing it alone shouldn’t be a problem.”

“If it’s in the bathroom or another room, fine. But not blatantly in front of me.”

“……”

“And for the record, doing it against my body while I’m sleeping is also forbidden.”

Hearing that added clause, just in case, made him openly sulk.

Sure, he was the guy she had chosen—but still, his perversion was honestly beyond belief.

Even so, after laying down the rules, things became much more manageable.

Though Ilex, not used to restrictions, nearly crossed the line several times, he managed—just barely—to restrain himself.

In truth, more than painless sex, what satisfied Tilia the most was seeing that restraint.

The way he held back his boiling desire to keep his promise to her felt, somehow, like a different form of saying “I love you.”

Even sharing a bed—something they began reluctantly due to Ilex’s insistence—became something she slowly adjusted to.

Tilia, who had never once in her life shared a bed with anyone, initially suffered from several nightmares.

Usually, she dreamt of being bound and eaten alive by a predator like a snake.

However, as time passed and she began to grow accustomed to the presence behind her back, the animal in her dreams changed from a snake to something warmer—like an eagle or a wolf.

In those no-longer-nightmarish dreams, she was not prey, but rather a cub or an egg that he protected.

Lying in a warm haven or nest, wrapped in his embrace—not restrained, but cherished and sheltered.

In the meantime, the season had already passed from gentle spring into summer.

Even with the sun beginning to scorch the crown of her head, Ilex would always take her by the hand and rush off to the countryside whenever she had a day off.

The places the carriage dropped them off were different every time.

Sometimes a lakeside where flowering trees bent low over the water’s surface.

Sometimes a Davenport family villa, overflowing with exotic blossoms.

Or an endless stretch of private land blooming with short wildflowers.

Though the destinations varied week to week, one thing remained constant.

Everywhere they went, the flowers were in full bloom.

Tilia, set amid the festival of color, would marvel at the splendor of the blossoms in season—

While Ilex watched Tilia.

Even as they gazed at different things, their hands never let go of each other.

No matter how the jealous sun made their palms sweat, it was useless.

As if they had come flower viewing solely to hold hands, Ilex and Tilia remained persistently glued to each other’s side.

Of course, not every day was blissful.

There were days when tempers flared, or when jealousy rooted in insecurity took hold—

The former was typically Tilia’s doing, the latter usually Ilex’s.

But truthfully, those were two sides of the same coin.

More often than not, Ilex’s jealousy crossed a line, prompting Tilia to bare her fangs in response.

Though there were many triggers for the man’s jealousy, the one that caused the most trouble was the three-year gap during which they’d been apart.

“By the way… who was the guy who took you to that ice cream place in Ontaroa?”

She had only said she didn’t remember because she genuinely didn’t, but Ilex treated her like a total flirt.

“You don’t even remember? Must’ve been a lot of guys.”

Saying he must not have left any impression didn’t work on him at all.

Whenever he grew anxious over the time he hadn’t been by her side, Ilex would lose his self-control in ways that didn’t match his usual demeanor.

Inevitably, these incidents led back to rule violations in bed, and in turn, to Tilia’s irritation the next day.

That particular day, driven mad by jealousy, Ilex had finally broken Rule Seven.

And of course, as if it were a given, he had also failed to respect the last rule, which left Tilia sobbing so hard she couldn’t breathe. Furious, she stormed to the big wardrobe.

Now she understood the reason behind Ilex Davenport’s intense unease over the gap in their past.

He still didn’t trust her.

Unlike her—who had bared more of herself to him than to anyone else in her life—

Unlike her—who, for the first time, was placing complete trust in someone—

He still didn’t trust his own heart.

Just as she understood what made him anxious, Tilia also knew how to resolve it.

It was simple.

All she had to do was show him the letters she hadn’t gotten the chance to send.

Just seeing the sincerity written on those pages would be enough for him to understand.

That the three years he so casually labeled as “the gap”

Had, in fact, been filled completely with thoughts of him.

She would show him the fullness of her past. Let him see the story she had quietly been building in another place.

But when she actually pulled out the old letters from the dusty bag deep in the closet, the bold determination she’d felt vanished, and she ended up, red-faced, putting them right back.

Her heart was all in, yes. She knew full well that giving them to him would solve everything.

But to actually show them to Ilex…

‘Too embarrassing.’

Now that she read them again in a sane state of mind, she could see clearly.

Back then, she had been pleading for his affection. Whimpering and begging for forgiveness.

It was, honestly, cringe-worthy to the point of revulsion.

‘If I show him those…’

The image of Ilex smirking and snickering rose unbidden in her mind, and she recoiled instinctively.

Sure, the problem would be solved. He would never doubt her again.

But her instincts told her an even bigger problem would arise. Namely, the inflated ego that Ilex Davenport might develop about her.